(no subject)
livejournals are so angsty. which is why i love them.
Because, lets face it people, i LOVE, no, FEED on angst.
Because deep, deep down inside, i love causing trouble.
so I'm a freak? I mean, damn. I know I'm crazy. But thats how I roll you know? Sometimes it's better to just ignore the crap out of things, or acti crazy, and just... be, i guess.
I mean.. it's... its how I cope with things you know? I'm not one to really go over the edge a lot. I used to be, until I got my emotions and/or actions under control. I'm not a freak now... i'm just.. kind of quiet. I mean.. really. When is the last time I've done anything crazy? Weird, maybe.
But I'm tired of my stereotype. I'm not like that at all, and it pisses me off when people , like ben and others , insist that I am. I'm NOT. I KNOW I'm not. Hell, I'm practicly normal now. I just like being a bit solitary and I can't relate to other teens that well.
but you know what? I sometimes mind that I don't. It hurts. It does... sometimes.
Then I look at these people , and it's like... what the hell am I missing? What could they possibly have that I don't?
And you know... I've come up with.. well.. nothing. There is no differences between me and them. Maybe it's the way I dress. So I don't like to be social and people freak me out.
So what? Most of those kids are just... I don't know. All I know is that, while they are probably nice, there isn't really anything special about them. honestly. I mean... I know i'm ugly and stuff but..
It's not because I look ugly... it just seems like... somethings.. off maybe?
yeah.. like... I don't know.
My face is very serious looking.. even though I'm not Dx
I mean... when its relaxed.. i always get comments like "thats the saddest face I've ever seen"
WHAT THE FUCK.
~_~ OH well... I mean... I guess I could practice smiling... but...
I don't how my face looks on pictures.. i look more pudgy then I really am... ;o;
my hair hates me too.
And i've got sun burn!
I am not a happy c-chan! ;O;
... okay.. so maybe I am..
really... even though i'm exauhsted... theres really no place i'd rather be then here..
i'm right on the egde of life and death really, when you think of the whole mom situation.
I think i'd die if I had to go back... I'd just... smother... maybe I wouldn't die.. but.. but I'm sure my spirit would.
No questions asked, you know?
I can only be strong for so long.
and then.... and then you break.
I've calmed down a lot since I moved out... i'm so ... content.
I just.. enjoy being here...
It's nice to be caterted after and.. well... cared about..
my mother.. i can't stand her...
i never will be able too...
art is really the only thing I'm ever going to do..
that, and maybe science or music.
with music though... i'll just listen..
I just like to hear it.
weith science i'm not really into biology. maybe natrual sciences... well... whatever you call resaerching animals and nature and stuff.
and if they don't have a field like that they should!
gotta p[rotect the enviorment you know?
Its not like it's going to be there forever, if we keep going on like humans twend to do, and kjust consume without ever giving back, it WILL be gone.
so... yeah.
goal number one:
save the world.
goal number two:
hmm.... i don't know... maybe.. travel the world?
yeah.. thats sounds good.
goal number three:
uhm... just... draw? live long and prosper?
... OKAY.
Be better then everyone else.
that or help a lot of people.
:'D
ypu.
kay, so.... I'm saving up for an amp!
yayayayayayay!
Shiela is getting some upgrades! I (hopefully) will be able to hear what she sounds like at home! :DDD yay sheila! It's either Izzy or sheila.
BTW, I'm talking about my guitar.
which is baclk and hot and awesome.
x3
fweee~ I got a guitar I gots a guitar! And i'll hopefully be able to get an amp soon! yaya!
Because, lets face it people, i LOVE, no, FEED on angst.
Because deep, deep down inside, i love causing trouble.
so I'm a freak? I mean, damn. I know I'm crazy. But thats how I roll you know? Sometimes it's better to just ignore the crap out of things, or acti crazy, and just... be, i guess.
I mean.. it's... its how I cope with things you know? I'm not one to really go over the edge a lot. I used to be, until I got my emotions and/or actions under control. I'm not a freak now... i'm just.. kind of quiet. I mean.. really. When is the last time I've done anything crazy? Weird, maybe.
But I'm tired of my stereotype. I'm not like that at all, and it pisses me off when people , like ben and others , insist that I am. I'm NOT. I KNOW I'm not. Hell, I'm practicly normal now. I just like being a bit solitary and I can't relate to other teens that well.
but you know what? I sometimes mind that I don't. It hurts. It does... sometimes.
Then I look at these people , and it's like... what the hell am I missing? What could they possibly have that I don't?
And you know... I've come up with.. well.. nothing. There is no differences between me and them. Maybe it's the way I dress. So I don't like to be social and people freak me out.
So what? Most of those kids are just... I don't know. All I know is that, while they are probably nice, there isn't really anything special about them. honestly. I mean... I know i'm ugly and stuff but..
It's not because I look ugly... it just seems like... somethings.. off maybe?
yeah.. like... I don't know.
My face is very serious looking.. even though I'm not Dx
I mean... when its relaxed.. i always get comments like "thats the saddest face I've ever seen"
WHAT THE FUCK.
~_~ OH well... I mean... I guess I could practice smiling... but...
I don't how my face looks on pictures.. i look more pudgy then I really am... ;o;
my hair hates me too.
And i've got sun burn!
I am not a happy c-chan! ;O;
... okay.. so maybe I am..
really... even though i'm exauhsted... theres really no place i'd rather be then here..
i'm right on the egde of life and death really, when you think of the whole mom situation.
I think i'd die if I had to go back... I'd just... smother... maybe I wouldn't die.. but.. but I'm sure my spirit would.
No questions asked, you know?
I can only be strong for so long.
and then.... and then you break.
I've calmed down a lot since I moved out... i'm so ... content.
I just.. enjoy being here...
It's nice to be caterted after and.. well... cared about..
my mother.. i can't stand her...
i never will be able too...
art is really the only thing I'm ever going to do..
that, and maybe science or music.
with music though... i'll just listen..
I just like to hear it.
weith science i'm not really into biology. maybe natrual sciences... well... whatever you call resaerching animals and nature and stuff.
and if they don't have a field like that they should!
gotta p[rotect the enviorment you know?
Its not like it's going to be there forever, if we keep going on like humans twend to do, and kjust consume without ever giving back, it WILL be gone.
so... yeah.
goal number one:
save the world.
goal number two:
hmm.... i don't know... maybe.. travel the world?
yeah.. thats sounds good.
goal number three:
uhm... just... draw? live long and prosper?
... OKAY.
Be better then everyone else.
that or help a lot of people.
:'D
ypu.
kay, so.... I'm saving up for an amp!
yayayayayayay!
Shiela is getting some upgrades! I (hopefully) will be able to hear what she sounds like at home! :DDD yay sheila! It's either Izzy or sheila.
BTW, I'm talking about my guitar.
which is baclk and hot and awesome.
x3
fweee~ I got a guitar I gots a guitar! And i'll hopefully be able to get an amp soon! yaya!