FUCK IT ALL
i hate life... i envy death... i hate racist people... execpt brian... i hate people who hate me for my religion...i hate emo... i hate france and iraq... i hate palestinians...i hate g'd ... yet i respect him...i hate religion with its entirity... yet i would die for it.. i hate hypocrites... yet i am a total contradiction...i hate never measuring up to the self image that i want to be... i hate that i am not able to ignore people... i hate liars... i hate always being the wrong one... i hate that i can never be pretty in my mother's eyes... i hate that i am ashame of myself...i hate that i am judgemental... yet i dont want to be judged...i hate that i am shallow...i hate my family... but i defend them...i hate that my mental state is dentrimental to my physical health... i hate that i can do nothing right... i hate that i am wallowing in my own self pitty... yet i go on writing... i hate my so called "Friends" who talk shit behind my back...i hate that i dont appreciate my true friends and give them the respect that they deserve.. i hate that i do not know who are really my friends.. and who are not... i hate school.. yet i look forward to go there.... i hate that i have no better place to look forward to go to than school... i hate that i am so pathetic... i hate that i cannot spell.. i hate that i am lazy... i hate that i care too much...and yet care so little... i hate that i am shy... i hate that i am so loud...i hate not being in a relationship ... i hate that i fear conmentment... i hate that i shut people out of my life... i hate that i let people see too much into my life... i hate that i am never happy... i hate being depressed... i hate talking... i hate being quite... i hate being too young... i hate growing up.... i hate having to eplain myself... i hate people misunderstanding me... i hate that i am a hateful person... i hate being a facade of someone who i am not... i hate not being myself... i hate that i fear being myself... i hate that i have a fear of not being liked... i hate being weak... i hate that i have to be strong... i hate people touching me... i hate kissing... i hate not being desired... i hate wearing clothes... i hate being scared to be exposed... i hate feeling stupid... i hate that i feel that i am compelled to make everyone happy before myself... i hate that i am self centered... i hate that i am cryptic... i hate that my felings are so easily read...i hate that people i care for... i push away... i hate that i am so picky... i hate that i am a whore... i hate that i have no morals... i hate that i have a conscience... i hate that i love hating things...i hating that i am sick in the head... i mainly hate being me.