alright now...
...so i'm sitting here, bored as hell, and watching Forensic Files (good shit!) because i can't sleep. everyone keeps asking me questions.
what's new with you?
truth is, not much is new, i've been walking around, angry at the world, and for what? stupid shit i seem to keep setting myself up for. time and time again, i lay my heart on the line, thinking each time, it'll be different, it'll be better than the last time, but what a fucking fool i've been. i've been going about this "fulfillment" shit the wrong way...i shouldn't have to chase anyone, and this could be argued that this isn't a chase, but i'll be damned if it doesn't feel like one. i'm getting too old for this...i know that relationships aren't 50/50, as they probably should be, and i'm more than willing to give MUCH more than half, as long isn't read as being out of obligation...i put forth what i want, because it makes me happy to make someone else happy. so my new stance is this: if you want me, you make a move. i'm tired of doing all the work...if there is to be something between you and i, show me you want it, i've done more than show you how i feel.
are you excited about chicago?
of course i'm excited! but scared as hell at the same time. i head up there on monday to look at a few apartments, and hopefully when i fly back home tuesday morning, i will have a place to stay. i officially set the date to move in for the 19th, and we'll go from there. class starts the 28th, but i think i need to give myself ample time to get furniture and food and get my school shit together. oh, and for clarification purposes, the aforementioned person just happen to live near the geographical area of my new school, but is NOT the reason for my attendance, whether he, you, or anyone else seems to think so. all this shit occurred AFTER i financially committed myself to this new life endeavor. i've got plans for myself...you should know me better than that! ;-)
in other news, i've been feeling particularly anxious for the reasons stated above, feeling really inclined to listen to REAL jazz music, and i wanna watch some Daria...damn MTV for pulling it off the air...fuckers. and you all wonder why i don't watch TV! I love music for that reason.
oh, and dude, adult life sucks hairy monkey balls.
what's new with you?
truth is, not much is new, i've been walking around, angry at the world, and for what? stupid shit i seem to keep setting myself up for. time and time again, i lay my heart on the line, thinking each time, it'll be different, it'll be better than the last time, but what a fucking fool i've been. i've been going about this "fulfillment" shit the wrong way...i shouldn't have to chase anyone, and this could be argued that this isn't a chase, but i'll be damned if it doesn't feel like one. i'm getting too old for this...i know that relationships aren't 50/50, as they probably should be, and i'm more than willing to give MUCH more than half, as long isn't read as being out of obligation...i put forth what i want, because it makes me happy to make someone else happy. so my new stance is this: if you want me, you make a move. i'm tired of doing all the work...if there is to be something between you and i, show me you want it, i've done more than show you how i feel.
are you excited about chicago?
of course i'm excited! but scared as hell at the same time. i head up there on monday to look at a few apartments, and hopefully when i fly back home tuesday morning, i will have a place to stay. i officially set the date to move in for the 19th, and we'll go from there. class starts the 28th, but i think i need to give myself ample time to get furniture and food and get my school shit together. oh, and for clarification purposes, the aforementioned person just happen to live near the geographical area of my new school, but is NOT the reason for my attendance, whether he, you, or anyone else seems to think so. all this shit occurred AFTER i financially committed myself to this new life endeavor. i've got plans for myself...you should know me better than that! ;-)
in other news, i've been feeling particularly anxious for the reasons stated above, feeling really inclined to listen to REAL jazz music, and i wanna watch some Daria...damn MTV for pulling it off the air...fuckers. and you all wonder why i don't watch TV! I love music for that reason.
oh, and dude, adult life sucks hairy monkey balls.