what to say...
...well folks, i was looking and hoping for my miracle, and, well it's not here...but, God works in mysterious ways. guess i'll have to keep waitin' this one out. so tired of playing things out in my head, gotta take some action at some point, but i am so scared to do so. on another note, 60 days til graduation...i'll make it there, God willing. seeing as i don't really know what else to say, i'll end this with an excerpt of something i was working on (thoughts were to be italicized, but format got changed in copy and paste), although i am sure no one will read my shit anyway.
“Dude, remember that conference I was telling you about?” Trenton said excitedly.
Dryly, James mumbled, “No. What conference?”
“You know, that executive meeting with the creators of that silicon memory chip. They are giving their pitch to Greg, and he invited me to go along, you know, like his shadow.”
Here we go, James thought as he gazed out of the window. “Okay, cool. You goin’?”
“ I wanna, but there is a catch. It’s in Vegas, and it’s on Friday.”
“And the problem is?” Aggravatingly, Trenton declared, “I told Nicole that I’d take her out to the movies this weekend, to make up for the lack of time we’ve been spending together. It’s gotten to the point that she won’t put out, and I’m telling you, my boys are gettin' really blue.”
“And leaving for this conference is gonna help you how?” James said as he got up from his couch and trudged toward his refrigerator for a bottle of Coors Light.
“I figure, I’ll never get this chance again, and well, hell, if she won’t talk to me after this, I have a right hand.”
“Haha, you are one sad motherfucker!” This bastard is plotting, look at him; it’s all over his face. “So this involves me how…?”
“Well, what are you doing Friday night?” Trenton says with a big cheeky grin.
“Oh no, dude, I love you to death, but naw, I don’t think I can help with this one.”
“Come on James, you are my stickboy, help me out here. You know I’d do it for you.”
James chugs the remainder of his beer, glares at Trenton, and lets out an exaggerated sigh.
“I fuckin’ hate you, you know that?”
Trenton and James exchange high fives, and Trenton heads for the door. “You are the greatest, man, I knew there was some reason I kept you around, haha.”
“Haha hell. Get out before I change my mind.”
What the fuck did I just do? James ponders. I’ve been doing so well focusing on not looking at my man’s woman, but Nicole is fuckin’ beautiful. James sprawls out on his brown suede sofa, kicks off his house shoes, and closes his eyes. Me and Trenton have been through a lot of shit when it comes to women. I know I can will myself not to look at her like that. Past experience had lead James to believe this thought to be true. When he was with Joanna, his attention never wavered away from her. With the exception of women with large breasts. That was his weakness, and he couldn’t help himself. And Nicole’s breasts were gargantuan, always protruding and glistening over her skimpy tops. “Oh Shit,” James gasped, and felt his blood rushing towards his crotch. He began to reminisce on the times that Nicole provoked that response. How she would rub against when she passed, how she winked at him when Trenton wasn’t looking, and called him when Trent was away on business. “Oh God,” he moaned and bit his lower lip.
“Anytime you need some affection, just someone to talk to, to be close to, call me. Never hesitate,” he remembered Nicole saying to him once. And he thought about all the times he almost took her up on that offer. James caressed the bulge in his shorts, and he felt himself nearing his boiling point. It would be so easy to take her, fuck her senseless. Oh, the ungodly things I would do to her… “Fuck!” he belted as he came. James sat up, shaking, and wiped his eyes forcefully with his hands and exhaled heavily. “I gotta tell him no. Hell no.”
“Dude, remember that conference I was telling you about?” Trenton said excitedly.
Dryly, James mumbled, “No. What conference?”
“You know, that executive meeting with the creators of that silicon memory chip. They are giving their pitch to Greg, and he invited me to go along, you know, like his shadow.”
Here we go, James thought as he gazed out of the window. “Okay, cool. You goin’?”
“ I wanna, but there is a catch. It’s in Vegas, and it’s on Friday.”
“And the problem is?” Aggravatingly, Trenton declared, “I told Nicole that I’d take her out to the movies this weekend, to make up for the lack of time we’ve been spending together. It’s gotten to the point that she won’t put out, and I’m telling you, my boys are gettin' really blue.”
“And leaving for this conference is gonna help you how?” James said as he got up from his couch and trudged toward his refrigerator for a bottle of Coors Light.
“I figure, I’ll never get this chance again, and well, hell, if she won’t talk to me after this, I have a right hand.”
“Haha, you are one sad motherfucker!” This bastard is plotting, look at him; it’s all over his face. “So this involves me how…?”
“Well, what are you doing Friday night?” Trenton says with a big cheeky grin.
“Oh no, dude, I love you to death, but naw, I don’t think I can help with this one.”
“Come on James, you are my stickboy, help me out here. You know I’d do it for you.”
James chugs the remainder of his beer, glares at Trenton, and lets out an exaggerated sigh.
“I fuckin’ hate you, you know that?”
Trenton and James exchange high fives, and Trenton heads for the door. “You are the greatest, man, I knew there was some reason I kept you around, haha.”
“Haha hell. Get out before I change my mind.”
What the fuck did I just do? James ponders. I’ve been doing so well focusing on not looking at my man’s woman, but Nicole is fuckin’ beautiful. James sprawls out on his brown suede sofa, kicks off his house shoes, and closes his eyes. Me and Trenton have been through a lot of shit when it comes to women. I know I can will myself not to look at her like that. Past experience had lead James to believe this thought to be true. When he was with Joanna, his attention never wavered away from her. With the exception of women with large breasts. That was his weakness, and he couldn’t help himself. And Nicole’s breasts were gargantuan, always protruding and glistening over her skimpy tops. “Oh Shit,” James gasped, and felt his blood rushing towards his crotch. He began to reminisce on the times that Nicole provoked that response. How she would rub against when she passed, how she winked at him when Trenton wasn’t looking, and called him when Trent was away on business. “Oh God,” he moaned and bit his lower lip.
“Anytime you need some affection, just someone to talk to, to be close to, call me. Never hesitate,” he remembered Nicole saying to him once. And he thought about all the times he almost took her up on that offer. James caressed the bulge in his shorts, and he felt himself nearing his boiling point. It would be so easy to take her, fuck her senseless. Oh, the ungodly things I would do to her… “Fuck!” he belted as he came. James sat up, shaking, and wiped his eyes forcefully with his hands and exhaled heavily. “I gotta tell him no. Hell no.”