Milestones
Yesterday was the first time that I've seen the scale read less than 200 lbs in years.
That 199 made me feel better than any kind of pizza or pop or junk food.
Three-ish years ago when I started my current job I was getting giant orders of cheese bread from a pizza place for lunch. I would grab a P'zone or a double stacker meal with a huge container of fries or some other food that was perhaps tasty, but was certainly easy, and certainly horrible for me. I was only thinking that now that I had free money again I could get all of the things that I had missed out on.
You see, before that I was only just barely able to pay the rent by begging my boss to give me as many hours as he could. My meals consisted of whatever I could get, be it 50 cent packs of the cheapest possible hotdogs, or something my dad would give me, or food that I could scam for free from a local fast food place.
Before THAT I had a job that paid quite a bit, but had just moved out of my dad's house. Obviously I didn't know how to be responsible at that point, so I was spending my money on ridiculous things and eating whatever I wanted, regardless of price or health. So for me, this was the "norm" that I was returning to once I was no longer having to spend every penny on my own survival.
But now I'm putting more effort into myself. I'm spending the time to make delicious, healthy food. I plan to go out to Wildwood today, not just for exercise and not just to raise the number of calories that I can consume today. But because I have missed walking through the forest, listening to interesting podcasts on my phone and not spending 100% of my time sitting at a desk.
So for me that 199 doesn't just show that I've lost 20 lbs since I started trying to take better care of myself. It acts as quantifiable proof that I'm growing as a person. I still spend my money on ridiculous things, and I still act childish at times, but it's proof that I'm achieving the one thing that is most important to me above all else.
I am more now than I was before.
That 199 made me feel better than any kind of pizza or pop or junk food.
Three-ish years ago when I started my current job I was getting giant orders of cheese bread from a pizza place for lunch. I would grab a P'zone or a double stacker meal with a huge container of fries or some other food that was perhaps tasty, but was certainly easy, and certainly horrible for me. I was only thinking that now that I had free money again I could get all of the things that I had missed out on.
You see, before that I was only just barely able to pay the rent by begging my boss to give me as many hours as he could. My meals consisted of whatever I could get, be it 50 cent packs of the cheapest possible hotdogs, or something my dad would give me, or food that I could scam for free from a local fast food place.
Before THAT I had a job that paid quite a bit, but had just moved out of my dad's house. Obviously I didn't know how to be responsible at that point, so I was spending my money on ridiculous things and eating whatever I wanted, regardless of price or health. So for me, this was the "norm" that I was returning to once I was no longer having to spend every penny on my own survival.
But now I'm putting more effort into myself. I'm spending the time to make delicious, healthy food. I plan to go out to Wildwood today, not just for exercise and not just to raise the number of calories that I can consume today. But because I have missed walking through the forest, listening to interesting podcasts on my phone and not spending 100% of my time sitting at a desk.
So for me that 199 doesn't just show that I've lost 20 lbs since I started trying to take better care of myself. It acts as quantifiable proof that I'm growing as a person. I still spend my money on ridiculous things, and I still act childish at times, but it's proof that I'm achieving the one thing that is most important to me above all else.
I am more now than I was before.