i think i killed me
i am severely behind in all of my classes this semester. I have no idea what to do. Sometimes i start to think that maybe im not cut out for college. But is it really that or am i lazy? But when i think about it, im not doing my work just becasue im lazy to do it.. i realized that i cant find the personal motivation to go to college. for some reason i see no point in it. but at the same time i cant get myself to not go. And alot of that feeling comes from my family. They want me to go so i go. but i feel like im just going theere to avoid the verbal pain they will inflict upon me if i dont go to college. I can honestly say i have lost the personal will to continue my education. i feel like there isnt anything in it for me. but how do i just go out on my own and do what i feel i need to do and avoid the death sentence from my family. Everyone says to me " cory it's your life, do what you want to do and dont care what anyone else says." i do live that way. but when it comes to my family and how they feel about school.. i cant get over how much of a slap in the face it would be to them for me to not go to school. i dont know. i have to do soem soul searching because if i dont im afraid im going to fall apart at the seams. and i'm afraid its already happening. Im crumbling to pieces and there isnt much i can do. i know life could be alot worse. but i wasnt dealt those cards at the moment but the ones i have now are just crushing me into the ground still. today is not a good day. nor a good week or a good month or year. or life. just too much stress. and i honestly have no idea with to do. No idea. and i cant find the energy inside me to continue on with this business anymore.