Tangled Web - PG-13 [Ryo/Shige]
Title: Tangled Web
Author: Kamika Farinas aka tinyangl
Rating: PG-13
Words: 2057
Characters: Ryo/Shige [Nishikido Ryo/Kato Shigeaki]
Summary: Ryo doesn't know how to distinguish the line between hate and love. Neither does Shige.
Author's Note: Written for mujun's Comment Fic Challenge.
"Oh, what a tangled web we weave, When first we practice to deceive" ~ Sir Walter Scott
i. Secrets.
They didn't like each other. No, never in that sense - never in the way things mattered. Plastered smiles and fake compliments that dipped into mocking. Ryo would say he couldn't be in the same room as Shige - Shige'd do the same. Because neither of them could give the other the upper hand - both were competitive to a fault. And nobody bothered to stop them. It was all just in good fun after all. The fangirls ate it up. Their friends thought they were joking around.
But eyes would meet and it wasn't joking. It wasn't humorous. Just plain disdain. Ryo thought Shige shouldn't be there - and Shige knew Ryo thought that. None of it was said verbally, never. Because saying it out loud would affirm everything and neither knew what would happen when if they finally laid all their cards out there.
They feared just what would happen to their dynamic. A dynamic that they'd fought to build up as much as they had. A dynamic created and formed through their own mind - one that hid everything and nothing all at the same time.
"Get your hair cut," Ryo'd snap. "It's ugly."
"What, and look like you? I'll pass," Shige'd say as he nonchalantly flip through a book. Everyone'd giggle behind hands, except Koyama who'd scold them for arguing (but mainly Ryo because he'd started it after all).
But then Ryo'd move on and snap at Yamapi to cut his hair as well. And Yamapi'd smile serenely, and nod. Because he knew that he had to anyway. As did Ryo, but anything to get the attention off of Shige.
His eyes would still follow Shige's. Meet Shige's above his book. And it was never friendly. Never kind. Just contempt. And Shige's would mirror his, because there was no other emotion he could possibly feel at this point.
They'd see each other randomly though - on days when they weren't supposed to see each other. On days when they think they're free from the other person's presence for just a day. Maybe in the streets randomly while they're shopping.
Glances are given, maybe a curt wave. But never anything more. It could never be anything more.
Ryo sees Shige in an empty practice room - late hours. Nobody else around and he's coming out of his own practice with Kanjani8. "Hey, isn't that Kato-kun?" Subaru whispers over his shoulder when he realizes what has Ryo's attention. (Although really, it's not so much a whisper, but Shige's too enraptured to even notice.)
"Un," Ryo comments without taking his eyes off the younger male.
A smack on his ass tells him that the other members are leaving him behind, and he raises a hand as though to say bye. Ryo pushes the door fully open, not making a noise as he watches Shige stare at his reflection in the mirror, going through a routine with such intensity that Ryo's a little startled.
The song ends and Ryo says out of the blue, "You were a half step too fast, you messed up the beat during the chorus."
Shige snaps his head in Ryo's direction, his forehead gleaming of sweat and his shirt soaked. His eyes widen before narrowing and he makes his way to the boombox next to Ryo. "Here to make fun of me?" he asks, an edge to his voice as he presses down hard on the stop button. "Shige has to practice all on his lonesome because he's just that bad," he mocks in a bad imitation of Ryo's voice.
"You need all the time you can get," Ryo says, almost mindlessly as he watches Shige pat his face with a towel.
Shige's glare only worsens. "If that's what you're here for, then I don't need it. Just leave me alone and I can keep practicing in peace."
Ryo leans over and flicks Shige in the forehead. "But who'll tell you where you've gone wrong?" Ryo says, almost soothingly - but both know that's not how the statement really should sound.
"Well, I'm sure that nagging voice in my head can tell me all I need to know," Shige snaps, smacking Ryo's hand away from him. "And it sounds annoyingly like you. So it'll be just like you were here, but without your presence."
Ryo steps forward, a little to closer for Shige's taste as he freezes, blinking. "I knew I was always on your mind," Ryo breathes. He takes one end of Shige's towel and dabs it on Shige's forehead, almost delicate in his actions, before pressing his lips lightly there. Ryo pulls back, staring into a stunned face, and he smiles - like he's pleased at himself - before he says, "Have a good practice then, Shige."
A turn of his heel and Ryo's out the door, closing it shut behind him. He leans against the door and shuts his eyes, inhaling. Before he realizes that maybe he doesn't dislike Shige as much as he thought.
ii. Lies.
Neither Shige nor Ryo bring up the secret practices that Shige has. Ryo doesn't go bother him either, even when all of Kanjani8 passes by the room noisily and Subaru even pushes Ryo in the direction of the room, but Ryo resists. He doesn't want to acknowledge anything more that'll screw with him - screw with his mind and how he views things.
But when he exchanges glances with Shige next, it's different. Ryo hates that he doesn't feel hatred or dislike or contempt or any of the emotions he used to. It's changed and he doesn't like it. Not one tiny bit.
Shige, for his part, seems to be the same - his dislike for Ryo hasn't changed. Although now, it seems to be more intense. Now it seems like he's carrying more of the dislike than ever before and everyone notices when Shige snaps at Ryo without Ryo having said a word. "And before you say anything, I know I messed up!" Ryo's jaw drops as he stares at Shige in half awe, half surprise.
"Maa-maa!" Koyama cuts in, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he looks from Shige to Ryo and then back. His hands out as he tries to keep the space between them. "Let's get back to practice, ne?"
Shige exhales shakily as he goes to take his position again and everyone else stares at Ryo. He growls at them, and everyone except Yamapi scatters. "Is something going on between you and Shige?" he asks pointedly.
Ryo combs through his hair with his hand, frustrated as his eyes focused on Shige. "No," Ryo bites out. "Absolutely nothing."
Yamapi raises an eyebrow and shakes his head. "Well, you better get this nothing fixed, because it's screwing with the group."
"Why do you care?" Ryo snaps.
"Because we're all on edge, and if we can't get through an entire practice because of your nothing tension, then it's all on your shoulders," Yamapi reprimands.
Ryo snorts, "Now you wanna be our leader."
Yamapi gives him a dirty look. "Just fix it," he says before joining the others in their practice.
Ryo resists the urge to pound a fist through the wall and settles for trying to catch his breath and glaring at a smiling Shige.
That night, Ryo bursts into Shige's usual practice room - Shige freezes at the boombox, eyes wide as he meets Ryo's. He snaps out of it a second later though. "What are you doing here?" Shige asks angrily. "I thought I'd gotten rid of you already."
Ryo stares for a long moment, arms crossed. "Do you hate me?"
"Yes," Shige says without missing a beat. "Don't you?"
"Not at all," Ryo says. A beat. "Should I go back to?"
Shige stares. "Yes. Because that's what I know."
Ryo gives him a wry smile. "Well, it's too bad we can't all get what we want." He takes a step forward. Shige takes one back.
"Why are you here, Nishikido-kun?" Shige asks, still stepping back until he hits a wall. Ryo pins Shige against it, his body flush against Shige's.
"Because of Yamapi," Ryo murmurs, leaning in.
"What, a bet?" Shige chokes as he tries to shy away from Ryo's intense gaze.
"No, because he sees what you don't." Shige audibly sucks in his breath. "I don't think I can stop," Ryo murmurs, his nose touching Shige's.
"What if I want you to?" Shige breathes, his eyes staring into Ryo's with this intensity that Ryo couldn't pin down.
"Do you?" Ryo asks.
"Yes," Shige murmurs, before Ryo covers Shige's lips with his own. And all sense of what is them - of what they are or who they are. And what they're used to disappears.
iii. Deception.
It's solved - at least in the eyes of the members. Shige and Ryo don't snap at each other as much and whatever tension that Yamapi had seen seems to have nicely smoothed itself out. (Yamapi even nods at Ryo pleased.)
What everyone seems not to notice are the hidden touches Ryo gives Shige - the lingering hand whenever he passes by and the close contact whenever Ryo has something to tell Shige, or vice versa. Nobody notices just how Ryo's gaze holds on Shige just a second longer than it should, than it used to. Nobody notices that when Ryo reprimands, it's a touch softer. (Although Koyama does nod happily - "Our member ai is getting stronger, ne?")
Every night, Ryo crashes Shige's practices and nobody is the wiser. None of them know exactly what happens behind closed doors and that's just how they like it.
"Shige," Koyama calls across the break room. "Dinner tonight?"
Shige looks up from his bag, his eyes catching Ryo's who's standing next to Koyama and they linger for a second too long before he switches his attention to Koyama. "Ah, no. I have a project tomorrow I need to work on. So I'll be staying here longer."
Koyama shrugs, before Tegoshi latches onto his arm, "Aa, Kei-chan, can I go to dinner with you?"
Koyama chuckles, ruffling Tegoshi's hair before nodding. "Sure! Massu, how about you?"
Massu looks thoughtful as they start to walk out the door. "I'll have to call home first, but I think it should be okay."
Ryo watches as Shige turns his attention to his books, glasses pushed back on his face.
"Ryo-chan~" Yamapi calls out from the door, "Coming?" Ryo snaps his head towards Yamapi.
"I have practice later, so I'll be staying too." Yamapi looks at him suspiciously.
"If you say so," he says softly before leaving along with the others. Ryo crashes onto the couch.
"You could've left with them," Shige murmurs from his books.
Ryo shakes his head. "Why leave?"
"Because your reason for staying is stupid."
"Is that what you call this?" Ryo asks, his fingers tapping against the side table.
"Maybe," Shige mutters before taking off his glasses, turning in his seat to face Ryo. "What are we doing?"
Ryo stares for a long moment. "The fact you have to ask says volumes of your stupidity, you know."
"Don't give me that crap!" Shige snaps, frustrated. "You know as much as I do. We hate each other."
Ryo snorts. "Is that what you're still stuck on? Haven't we already established that we really don't?"
"Physical attraction doesn't equal genuine love, Nishikido-kun. Shouldn't you have learned this lesson years ago?"
Ryo stands up, storming over to Shige and firmly grips the sides of the chair, leaning in. "Who says I'm physically attracted to you, Kato?" Shige blinks at him - almost innocently - and Ryo wonders if his worries are as sincere as they appear. "You're an idiot, you know. If someone seems interested in you, you worry. You wonder. Do you have that low a view of yourself?"
"Yes," Shige whispers. "Especially if it's you."
Ryo's a little startled at Shige's honesty. "Has our game gotten to you that much?"
Shige stares. "Which one?"
"The first one. Second... Maybe both?" Ryo asks. He can feel Shige's breath against his lips and he can't stop himself from closing his eyes.
"They both hurt, Nishikido-kun. So you had better make your intentions clear before you break me more than you already have," Shige whispers, his voice sounding more broken with Ryo even having to look at the actual person.
"And if I say I like you?"
"I say you lie."
"And if I say I hate you?"
"I say you lie."
"So where are we?" Ryo asks, a little more than wounded. His eyes open and he stares intently into Shige's.
"A stalemate. Limbo. Nowhere," Shige says, before leaning forward, "Maybe everywhere all at the same time."
Author: Kamika Farinas aka tinyangl
Rating: PG-13
Words: 2057
Characters: Ryo/Shige [Nishikido Ryo/Kato Shigeaki]
Summary: Ryo doesn't know how to distinguish the line between hate and love. Neither does Shige.
Author's Note: Written for mujun's Comment Fic Challenge.
"Oh, what a tangled web we weave, When first we practice to deceive" ~ Sir Walter Scott
i. Secrets.
They didn't like each other. No, never in that sense - never in the way things mattered. Plastered smiles and fake compliments that dipped into mocking. Ryo would say he couldn't be in the same room as Shige - Shige'd do the same. Because neither of them could give the other the upper hand - both were competitive to a fault. And nobody bothered to stop them. It was all just in good fun after all. The fangirls ate it up. Their friends thought they were joking around.
But eyes would meet and it wasn't joking. It wasn't humorous. Just plain disdain. Ryo thought Shige shouldn't be there - and Shige knew Ryo thought that. None of it was said verbally, never. Because saying it out loud would affirm everything and neither knew what would happen when if they finally laid all their cards out there.
They feared just what would happen to their dynamic. A dynamic that they'd fought to build up as much as they had. A dynamic created and formed through their own mind - one that hid everything and nothing all at the same time.
"Get your hair cut," Ryo'd snap. "It's ugly."
"What, and look like you? I'll pass," Shige'd say as he nonchalantly flip through a book. Everyone'd giggle behind hands, except Koyama who'd scold them for arguing (but mainly Ryo because he'd started it after all).
But then Ryo'd move on and snap at Yamapi to cut his hair as well. And Yamapi'd smile serenely, and nod. Because he knew that he had to anyway. As did Ryo, but anything to get the attention off of Shige.
His eyes would still follow Shige's. Meet Shige's above his book. And it was never friendly. Never kind. Just contempt. And Shige's would mirror his, because there was no other emotion he could possibly feel at this point.
They'd see each other randomly though - on days when they weren't supposed to see each other. On days when they think they're free from the other person's presence for just a day. Maybe in the streets randomly while they're shopping.
Glances are given, maybe a curt wave. But never anything more. It could never be anything more.
Ryo sees Shige in an empty practice room - late hours. Nobody else around and he's coming out of his own practice with Kanjani8. "Hey, isn't that Kato-kun?" Subaru whispers over his shoulder when he realizes what has Ryo's attention. (Although really, it's not so much a whisper, but Shige's too enraptured to even notice.)
"Un," Ryo comments without taking his eyes off the younger male.
A smack on his ass tells him that the other members are leaving him behind, and he raises a hand as though to say bye. Ryo pushes the door fully open, not making a noise as he watches Shige stare at his reflection in the mirror, going through a routine with such intensity that Ryo's a little startled.
The song ends and Ryo says out of the blue, "You were a half step too fast, you messed up the beat during the chorus."
Shige snaps his head in Ryo's direction, his forehead gleaming of sweat and his shirt soaked. His eyes widen before narrowing and he makes his way to the boombox next to Ryo. "Here to make fun of me?" he asks, an edge to his voice as he presses down hard on the stop button. "Shige has to practice all on his lonesome because he's just that bad," he mocks in a bad imitation of Ryo's voice.
"You need all the time you can get," Ryo says, almost mindlessly as he watches Shige pat his face with a towel.
Shige's glare only worsens. "If that's what you're here for, then I don't need it. Just leave me alone and I can keep practicing in peace."
Ryo leans over and flicks Shige in the forehead. "But who'll tell you where you've gone wrong?" Ryo says, almost soothingly - but both know that's not how the statement really should sound.
"Well, I'm sure that nagging voice in my head can tell me all I need to know," Shige snaps, smacking Ryo's hand away from him. "And it sounds annoyingly like you. So it'll be just like you were here, but without your presence."
Ryo steps forward, a little to closer for Shige's taste as he freezes, blinking. "I knew I was always on your mind," Ryo breathes. He takes one end of Shige's towel and dabs it on Shige's forehead, almost delicate in his actions, before pressing his lips lightly there. Ryo pulls back, staring into a stunned face, and he smiles - like he's pleased at himself - before he says, "Have a good practice then, Shige."
A turn of his heel and Ryo's out the door, closing it shut behind him. He leans against the door and shuts his eyes, inhaling. Before he realizes that maybe he doesn't dislike Shige as much as he thought.
ii. Lies.
Neither Shige nor Ryo bring up the secret practices that Shige has. Ryo doesn't go bother him either, even when all of Kanjani8 passes by the room noisily and Subaru even pushes Ryo in the direction of the room, but Ryo resists. He doesn't want to acknowledge anything more that'll screw with him - screw with his mind and how he views things.
But when he exchanges glances with Shige next, it's different. Ryo hates that he doesn't feel hatred or dislike or contempt or any of the emotions he used to. It's changed and he doesn't like it. Not one tiny bit.
Shige, for his part, seems to be the same - his dislike for Ryo hasn't changed. Although now, it seems to be more intense. Now it seems like he's carrying more of the dislike than ever before and everyone notices when Shige snaps at Ryo without Ryo having said a word. "And before you say anything, I know I messed up!" Ryo's jaw drops as he stares at Shige in half awe, half surprise.
"Maa-maa!" Koyama cuts in, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he looks from Shige to Ryo and then back. His hands out as he tries to keep the space between them. "Let's get back to practice, ne?"
Shige exhales shakily as he goes to take his position again and everyone else stares at Ryo. He growls at them, and everyone except Yamapi scatters. "Is something going on between you and Shige?" he asks pointedly.
Ryo combs through his hair with his hand, frustrated as his eyes focused on Shige. "No," Ryo bites out. "Absolutely nothing."
Yamapi raises an eyebrow and shakes his head. "Well, you better get this nothing fixed, because it's screwing with the group."
"Why do you care?" Ryo snaps.
"Because we're all on edge, and if we can't get through an entire practice because of your nothing tension, then it's all on your shoulders," Yamapi reprimands.
Ryo snorts, "Now you wanna be our leader."
Yamapi gives him a dirty look. "Just fix it," he says before joining the others in their practice.
Ryo resists the urge to pound a fist through the wall and settles for trying to catch his breath and glaring at a smiling Shige.
That night, Ryo bursts into Shige's usual practice room - Shige freezes at the boombox, eyes wide as he meets Ryo's. He snaps out of it a second later though. "What are you doing here?" Shige asks angrily. "I thought I'd gotten rid of you already."
Ryo stares for a long moment, arms crossed. "Do you hate me?"
"Yes," Shige says without missing a beat. "Don't you?"
"Not at all," Ryo says. A beat. "Should I go back to?"
Shige stares. "Yes. Because that's what I know."
Ryo gives him a wry smile. "Well, it's too bad we can't all get what we want." He takes a step forward. Shige takes one back.
"Why are you here, Nishikido-kun?" Shige asks, still stepping back until he hits a wall. Ryo pins Shige against it, his body flush against Shige's.
"Because of Yamapi," Ryo murmurs, leaning in.
"What, a bet?" Shige chokes as he tries to shy away from Ryo's intense gaze.
"No, because he sees what you don't." Shige audibly sucks in his breath. "I don't think I can stop," Ryo murmurs, his nose touching Shige's.
"What if I want you to?" Shige breathes, his eyes staring into Ryo's with this intensity that Ryo couldn't pin down.
"Do you?" Ryo asks.
"Yes," Shige murmurs, before Ryo covers Shige's lips with his own. And all sense of what is them - of what they are or who they are. And what they're used to disappears.
iii. Deception.
It's solved - at least in the eyes of the members. Shige and Ryo don't snap at each other as much and whatever tension that Yamapi had seen seems to have nicely smoothed itself out. (Yamapi even nods at Ryo pleased.)
What everyone seems not to notice are the hidden touches Ryo gives Shige - the lingering hand whenever he passes by and the close contact whenever Ryo has something to tell Shige, or vice versa. Nobody notices just how Ryo's gaze holds on Shige just a second longer than it should, than it used to. Nobody notices that when Ryo reprimands, it's a touch softer. (Although Koyama does nod happily - "Our member ai is getting stronger, ne?")
Every night, Ryo crashes Shige's practices and nobody is the wiser. None of them know exactly what happens behind closed doors and that's just how they like it.
"Shige," Koyama calls across the break room. "Dinner tonight?"
Shige looks up from his bag, his eyes catching Ryo's who's standing next to Koyama and they linger for a second too long before he switches his attention to Koyama. "Ah, no. I have a project tomorrow I need to work on. So I'll be staying here longer."
Koyama shrugs, before Tegoshi latches onto his arm, "Aa, Kei-chan, can I go to dinner with you?"
Koyama chuckles, ruffling Tegoshi's hair before nodding. "Sure! Massu, how about you?"
Massu looks thoughtful as they start to walk out the door. "I'll have to call home first, but I think it should be okay."
Ryo watches as Shige turns his attention to his books, glasses pushed back on his face.
"Ryo-chan~" Yamapi calls out from the door, "Coming?" Ryo snaps his head towards Yamapi.
"I have practice later, so I'll be staying too." Yamapi looks at him suspiciously.
"If you say so," he says softly before leaving along with the others. Ryo crashes onto the couch.
"You could've left with them," Shige murmurs from his books.
Ryo shakes his head. "Why leave?"
"Because your reason for staying is stupid."
"Is that what you call this?" Ryo asks, his fingers tapping against the side table.
"Maybe," Shige mutters before taking off his glasses, turning in his seat to face Ryo. "What are we doing?"
Ryo stares for a long moment. "The fact you have to ask says volumes of your stupidity, you know."
"Don't give me that crap!" Shige snaps, frustrated. "You know as much as I do. We hate each other."
Ryo snorts. "Is that what you're still stuck on? Haven't we already established that we really don't?"
"Physical attraction doesn't equal genuine love, Nishikido-kun. Shouldn't you have learned this lesson years ago?"
Ryo stands up, storming over to Shige and firmly grips the sides of the chair, leaning in. "Who says I'm physically attracted to you, Kato?" Shige blinks at him - almost innocently - and Ryo wonders if his worries are as sincere as they appear. "You're an idiot, you know. If someone seems interested in you, you worry. You wonder. Do you have that low a view of yourself?"
"Yes," Shige whispers. "Especially if it's you."
Ryo's a little startled at Shige's honesty. "Has our game gotten to you that much?"
Shige stares. "Which one?"
"The first one. Second... Maybe both?" Ryo asks. He can feel Shige's breath against his lips and he can't stop himself from closing his eyes.
"They both hurt, Nishikido-kun. So you had better make your intentions clear before you break me more than you already have," Shige whispers, his voice sounding more broken with Ryo even having to look at the actual person.
"And if I say I like you?"
"I say you lie."
"And if I say I hate you?"
"I say you lie."
"So where are we?" Ryo asks, a little more than wounded. His eyes open and he stares intently into Shige's.
"A stalemate. Limbo. Nowhere," Shige says, before leaning forward, "Maybe everywhere all at the same time."