(no subject)

Jan 27, 2004 08:53

since moving into this apartment.

- i haven't had a decent bath, due to there only being enough warm water to fill up half the tub before it gets cold.
- i've been sober more than not, if you know me you know this is a feat all on it's own.
- i've gone over a week with nothing to eat.
- i've learned to check the hot water, the oven, drains, and heater before signing a six month lease.
- i miss court tv, the discovery channel, hgtv, lifetime movie network, and the independant film channel.
- i've fallen down way more than i should while sober.
- i've been cold all the time.
- i've realized i'm never going to find someone who loves me, but i'm trying really hard to be okay with that, and i must be starting to be, i don't cry about it anymore.
- my tummy hurts really bad most days, and i don't know why.
- i've been sleeping all day.
- i've gotten a new perspective, and realized how stupid i was to be so depressed for so long when i had it so fucking good, i realize that now that i have it much worse than ever before, but i'm still not depressed now cause at least i don't have to see my parents.
- i'm very lonely...

i thought i should update cause i haven't done so in a long time, this will be my last update for awhile. i might post some pictures i've been working on if i ever get them online, but then agian i might not.

i've been trying to go to sleep for hours but i can't, the only time i get really sad is when i'm really tired, i'm really tired right now. and cold, i'm going back to the couch where the blankets are to wait for something good to come on tv.
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