WAP, Vol. 99
Weekly Asian Post, Vol. 99
Ah, so here I am, almost a week after the bad news of my suspension hit. If you're wondering, I'm doing fine. I'm still unsure about what this semester and next semester hold for me, but it's comforting for me to know that I'm in the process of figuring it out. The only problem has been the persistence of my parents. I know I'm not the only one that ever deals with this, but if it's true that we all are going to act just like our parents when we're in their position, then why is it that even though I'm almost 21, I still can't handle the amount of grief they give me? Sure, maybe with what's happened recently I deserve all of the bad lip I get. Nonetheless, I don't want every little facet of my life criticized. No one deserves to be scolded for sleeping in when they didn't have to get up; yet, when my dad called me one morning around 11, after I had just woken up, he started to get mad at the fact that I didn't get up earlier and do something productive.
Like I said, I know I'm not the only person in the world that deals with this, and I also know that I may deserve everything they throw at me. The big point I'm trying to make here is that all of the constant reminders of the suspension and my lack of work ethic and whatever.. it isn't exactly helping me move on. I've been in a decent or better mood everyday since I found out about the suspension, because I'm trying to look ahead and figure out what I'm going to do next. Let me also note that I'm not trying to forget what's happened, as I find past experience to be the best teacher in life. But as soon as I got home tonight for a meeting I'm supposed to have at Lynchburg College tomorrow, I got into a bad mood and started getting angry. And it was simply the presence of my parents. The fact that I knew they were looking at me with shame and disappointment at all times. The fact that my dad was going to tell me (and eventually try to convince me) what he thinks I should be doing with my upcoming year, rather than letting me decide for myself. I'm getting fed up with my parents, which has an effect on the current options I have for my next year.
Pending on two things, a meeting tomorrow with one of the Admissions directors at Lynchburg College, and a job interview that I'm supposed to have early next week, I've got my options narrowed down to about three or four. Most of them revolve around whether or not I can start taking classes for credit at Lynchburg College this semester, even though classes have already started. This is going to be tough, as even though past decisions have had a major effect on my life, I feel as though this upcoming decision will be the biggest one yet. I'm ready for it, though. I think.
In other news, I'm getting tired of the fact that my mom is "punishing" me by keeping my Xbox 360 at home. It's legitimate, as I definitely miss having it around. But really, a punishment? What is she hoping to accomplish? My belief is that she is still blaming a lot of my academic failure on video games. I know you all hear stories about those kids who never go to class and just sit in their room and play Halo all day. I also know that you guys know that I play video games pretty often. The key here is simple: while video games and social interaction are two very enticing distractions, they never had an effect on how much work I did. The only thing that affected my work habits was my desire, or lack thereof. Last semester, I had no desire to do anything: go to class or do my homework. I did go to most of my classes, but my homework was often scrappy and unpolished; I just did it at the last second to get it done, even if the answers weren't right. And it wasn't that I had the time or that I was distracted by anything else; it's just that I never wanted to do it. I'd sit on the couch and watch nothing on TV for hours before I'd sit down and do my homework.
The proper criticism here would be to point out what a lazy and weak statement I'm making here. Don't worry, I'm keeping it in mind that nobody wants to go to class and nobody wants to do their homework, but they do it anyway because they have to. We're all in college to build ourselves a future. I apparently lost sight of that future, that desire to get good grades and go to a good grad school and get a really high paying job. I seemingly cared about nothing last semester, other than making new friends, which as I said, had no bearing in terms of time on how much work I could get done. In other words, I had loads of time to finish my homework outside of socializing.
As my dad and I were talking at dinner tonight, with my mom worriedly listening and looking on, it became more and more apparent why there always seems to be a problem when he gets on my case. Every parent tries to teach the way they know: their way. The unfortunate thing here is that other than our laziness, my dad and I don't have a whole lot in common, something that was more apparent as we talked. It's not to say we don't have the same interests: we both obviously love music and watching/playing sports and such. But our philosophies are quite different. While both of our life goals are to provide a good life for our family, my dad places a huge emphasis on pride, ego, and prestige. We're not poor by any means, but my parents have very little savings because of the almost luxurious lives they have given my sister and me, which makes it clear how hard they've tried for us. But from a pride aspect, I have a good example: my dad often recites a story of how he was offered a recording contract in his college years in Korea but didn't accept it, because he thought his kids wouldn't be proud of having a performer as a father. He's always told me that I should get the best grades and go to the best schools so that I can have the highest positions and make the most money when I become a working adult. Sure, the alure of all that sounds great, but the difference here is that I could care less about all of that. I'm fine with just having a regular job (not a full-time job at McDonalds, of course, and no offense) and making enough money to support my family. I don't need the prestige or the pride; I just need to provide.
I could go over more differences, but I believe that the one I just cited is the most relevant example. If I can offer you any advice from what I've gone through, it's to make sure that you know your parents well enough that you can see where their advice for you may be biased. I'm all for respecting your elders and trying to listen to everything they say, but just like us kids, it's clear that parents can have clouded judgment from their own biases. If you've known me long enough, you know that my dad wanted me to be an Ivy-leaguer; once again, the "best of the best". Even back in high school, I knew that was not what I wanted; I knew I didn't care about going to the greatest school out there. He wanted me to attend Governor's School during high school because I'd be with the "best in the area". While I wouldn't give up the experiences I had there, Governor's School was one of the biggest hindrances on my college applications, because of how much I struggled there. I should also note that I didn't really want to go in the first place, but merely did so thinking that it would be best for me.
I suppose I could go on and on talking about the complexity of my relationship with my parents, but I don't want to take 19 or 20 days of your time. Again, I know I'm not the only one who has trouble with their parents because of personality differences, but obviously, it's been a lot more apparent to me with the recent events going on in my life. To close, I just want to thank all of you who are supporting me through this. I've been getting through it well, and part of it is the support, advice, and reassurance of all of you. Have a wonderful week and I'll see you next week for WAP #100! 5 more weeks until the two-year anniversary of the WAP as well! Bye for now!
Ah, so here I am, almost a week after the bad news of my suspension hit. If you're wondering, I'm doing fine. I'm still unsure about what this semester and next semester hold for me, but it's comforting for me to know that I'm in the process of figuring it out. The only problem has been the persistence of my parents. I know I'm not the only one that ever deals with this, but if it's true that we all are going to act just like our parents when we're in their position, then why is it that even though I'm almost 21, I still can't handle the amount of grief they give me? Sure, maybe with what's happened recently I deserve all of the bad lip I get. Nonetheless, I don't want every little facet of my life criticized. No one deserves to be scolded for sleeping in when they didn't have to get up; yet, when my dad called me one morning around 11, after I had just woken up, he started to get mad at the fact that I didn't get up earlier and do something productive.
Like I said, I know I'm not the only person in the world that deals with this, and I also know that I may deserve everything they throw at me. The big point I'm trying to make here is that all of the constant reminders of the suspension and my lack of work ethic and whatever.. it isn't exactly helping me move on. I've been in a decent or better mood everyday since I found out about the suspension, because I'm trying to look ahead and figure out what I'm going to do next. Let me also note that I'm not trying to forget what's happened, as I find past experience to be the best teacher in life. But as soon as I got home tonight for a meeting I'm supposed to have at Lynchburg College tomorrow, I got into a bad mood and started getting angry. And it was simply the presence of my parents. The fact that I knew they were looking at me with shame and disappointment at all times. The fact that my dad was going to tell me (and eventually try to convince me) what he thinks I should be doing with my upcoming year, rather than letting me decide for myself. I'm getting fed up with my parents, which has an effect on the current options I have for my next year.
Pending on two things, a meeting tomorrow with one of the Admissions directors at Lynchburg College, and a job interview that I'm supposed to have early next week, I've got my options narrowed down to about three or four. Most of them revolve around whether or not I can start taking classes for credit at Lynchburg College this semester, even though classes have already started. This is going to be tough, as even though past decisions have had a major effect on my life, I feel as though this upcoming decision will be the biggest one yet. I'm ready for it, though. I think.
In other news, I'm getting tired of the fact that my mom is "punishing" me by keeping my Xbox 360 at home. It's legitimate, as I definitely miss having it around. But really, a punishment? What is she hoping to accomplish? My belief is that she is still blaming a lot of my academic failure on video games. I know you all hear stories about those kids who never go to class and just sit in their room and play Halo all day. I also know that you guys know that I play video games pretty often. The key here is simple: while video games and social interaction are two very enticing distractions, they never had an effect on how much work I did. The only thing that affected my work habits was my desire, or lack thereof. Last semester, I had no desire to do anything: go to class or do my homework. I did go to most of my classes, but my homework was often scrappy and unpolished; I just did it at the last second to get it done, even if the answers weren't right. And it wasn't that I had the time or that I was distracted by anything else; it's just that I never wanted to do it. I'd sit on the couch and watch nothing on TV for hours before I'd sit down and do my homework.
The proper criticism here would be to point out what a lazy and weak statement I'm making here. Don't worry, I'm keeping it in mind that nobody wants to go to class and nobody wants to do their homework, but they do it anyway because they have to. We're all in college to build ourselves a future. I apparently lost sight of that future, that desire to get good grades and go to a good grad school and get a really high paying job. I seemingly cared about nothing last semester, other than making new friends, which as I said, had no bearing in terms of time on how much work I could get done. In other words, I had loads of time to finish my homework outside of socializing.
As my dad and I were talking at dinner tonight, with my mom worriedly listening and looking on, it became more and more apparent why there always seems to be a problem when he gets on my case. Every parent tries to teach the way they know: their way. The unfortunate thing here is that other than our laziness, my dad and I don't have a whole lot in common, something that was more apparent as we talked. It's not to say we don't have the same interests: we both obviously love music and watching/playing sports and such. But our philosophies are quite different. While both of our life goals are to provide a good life for our family, my dad places a huge emphasis on pride, ego, and prestige. We're not poor by any means, but my parents have very little savings because of the almost luxurious lives they have given my sister and me, which makes it clear how hard they've tried for us. But from a pride aspect, I have a good example: my dad often recites a story of how he was offered a recording contract in his college years in Korea but didn't accept it, because he thought his kids wouldn't be proud of having a performer as a father. He's always told me that I should get the best grades and go to the best schools so that I can have the highest positions and make the most money when I become a working adult. Sure, the alure of all that sounds great, but the difference here is that I could care less about all of that. I'm fine with just having a regular job (not a full-time job at McDonalds, of course, and no offense) and making enough money to support my family. I don't need the prestige or the pride; I just need to provide.
I could go over more differences, but I believe that the one I just cited is the most relevant example. If I can offer you any advice from what I've gone through, it's to make sure that you know your parents well enough that you can see where their advice for you may be biased. I'm all for respecting your elders and trying to listen to everything they say, but just like us kids, it's clear that parents can have clouded judgment from their own biases. If you've known me long enough, you know that my dad wanted me to be an Ivy-leaguer; once again, the "best of the best". Even back in high school, I knew that was not what I wanted; I knew I didn't care about going to the greatest school out there. He wanted me to attend Governor's School during high school because I'd be with the "best in the area". While I wouldn't give up the experiences I had there, Governor's School was one of the biggest hindrances on my college applications, because of how much I struggled there. I should also note that I didn't really want to go in the first place, but merely did so thinking that it would be best for me.
I suppose I could go on and on talking about the complexity of my relationship with my parents, but I don't want to take 19 or 20 days of your time. Again, I know I'm not the only one who has trouble with their parents because of personality differences, but obviously, it's been a lot more apparent to me with the recent events going on in my life. To close, I just want to thank all of you who are supporting me through this. I've been getting through it well, and part of it is the support, advice, and reassurance of all of you. Have a wonderful week and I'll see you next week for WAP #100! 5 more weeks until the two-year anniversary of the WAP as well! Bye for now!