Another catharsis - it's all positive
Wow lj has really updated itself with the scrapbook and the pictures and stuff. Okay anyway. I've always thought the start of a new year was my chance to start over and try things again but I've never really actively tried to change or start over. For some reason I feel like this year is different. I'm tired of being this bitchy pessemistic emotional mess. I'm not going to gossip anymore. I'll listen, but I'm not going to comment on it or contribute. I'm not going to contribute negative vibes to conversations anymore either. I'm going to be sickeningly positive and optimistic. I want to enjoy myself and I think by focusing on school, working, and being happy is the way to go. I am thoroughly convinced that I am about to embark upon the best semester of school I've ever had. I'm going to try and minimize the "going out" factor, I'm going to try and get another job so I can have two jobs and I am going to be so obsessed with studying that I will get on everyone's nerves. I'm so excited too. This feeling is incredibly unusual. I've never felt like this. I think it may have a lot to do with the disaster of last semester. I had no motivation. I was waiting and waiting for some source of inspiration to come and light up my life, but alas nothing. I got straight C's last semester. Even in studio. I just didn't care. I didn't feel like doing anything. Which to my peers was uncharacteristic. But I'm inspired again - finally. I've also decided that I must read my bible more often. I do not dedicate enough time to studying the words of God. That is disappointing to me. And I am determined to tackle anything I encounter this year in general, like summer school and such. This is going to be a good year. I'm going to work my butt off and save money and help take care of my sister and get an A in drawing 2 and be a good girlfriend and keep up with everyone important in my life. I am. I'm going to do this. I really am.