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Jan 23, 2006 01:19

it's time for a change. i've never had the courage to open up and talk about my thoughts on my livejournal, ever.  mostly because i don't like revealing everything out there. but i figure it doesn't make much of a difference, very few people probably read this anyway, and those who do are probably close friends and this can be one way for them to know what's going on in my life anyway so i'm gonna try it out.

i don't know how to act with ex's. i only have one ex, and so i'm obviously not experienced with relationships. we didn't talk much initially after the break up, but we had a long talk and now we're cool. we both admitted we don't have the same feelings of love for one another now so we can hang out with our group of friends. the problem is, i've been hanging out with a lot of new people this year and so it feels a little awkward when i hang out with my old group of friends. plus, my ex likes a mutual friend, so i don't wanna hang around them in case it makes them feel uncomfortable at all. it's just kind of a bizarre situation, but i think i've learned from this that inter-house relationships aren't the best idea.

so, i have a new boyfriend now. i love his company, and to be honest i wasn't sure whether i was ready for a relationship, but being with him comforts me and i think i'm ready for it. it's tough because a lot of people have been telling me stories about him and how he used to be, warning me not to get too close to him. it's just really discouraging to hear all this, especially because it's so early in the relationship and we haven't built up all that trust yet...but for now i'm going to trust his words over other people and hopefully i won't be disappointed.

simon told me a few days ago that he used to play the field, but now that he has roxie he's changing because he has it so good right now that it seems completely pointless to do anything to screw things up with her. wow, it felt so good to hear him say that and boy they sure make a cute couple.

nick de-pledged from alpha delt. i'm gonna support him on his decision because it seemed like alpha delt was screwing him over... i mean he almost got kicked outta housing, plus he said his parents are against the idea of him joining a frat. i was honestly a little worried that joining a frat would change nick and chundra changing them into cocky, typical frat boys, but ya know they're great kids and i love 'em. one of my other friends is pledging for phi-delt i believe... and i just hope that he stays the sweet, good-hearted kid he is. i really have faith in this kid, but it's just that i've seen some friends change a lot after pledging/joining frats so i'm a bit worried.

i think i'm getting addicted to texas hold 'em. i mean, i'm not good at it or anything, but it's entertaining and i guess it just keeps me occupied for hours. like today i actually watched poker on tv and played for a little bit on yahoo games. somebody help me!

i think i'm a little mentally challenged for this school. seriously, i suck at school.

i'm thinking about being a tour guide on campus! i filled out the application and i have an interview tomorrow... it pays very little, but i think it'll be so much fun being able to talk to those eager high school students and i'd feel happy knowing that i persuaded students to come to the uofc.

i have a friend who doesn't seem very happy at this school. and it's sad to see that because it reminds me of how i was for some of the time last year. listening to this kid talk about how he doesn't like it here allowed me to reflect about my past year and a half year... surprisingly i'm very happy to be at this school this year; so much happier than last year. i think this can be attributed to a couple of things:
1. i'm way more involved with the university especially by being on the council of university programming
2. my roommate's awesome and we always have a blast
3. i know a lot more people this year so i can walk around campus and feel like i belong here
4. the winter weather this year is sooo nice and warm!
5. i get a lot more sleep

i'm very proud of myself for restraining from going to any parties this weekend. i figured last week's partying was enough for me, and i should cool down a little. i meant to go to church today, i really, really did. i don't know why i didn't... i really didn't have anything to do today, and i told myself for the past week that i'd go... but last night i just changed my mind. i guess i'm just in the routine of not going to church these days, and you know how hard it is to change your routine... it's really too bad.

that's a lot of random stuff i've been thinking about lately. more updates coming soon. :)
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