~Yearning for a dream, I search for a dream...~
...Brought to by such wonderful songs as this,this&this as the fitting BGM that should be played while reading.
--Hey, Tsuchida. Just as an arm, how are you going to read the stuff I write?
As I ask that, Norizane scratched the tip of his nose as if troubled.
--As in the definition of' read, I mean. Other than one's hands, one also needs the eyes to do that. Which means that sour-face also can't be missing and the body too must be there, right? I did think you understood at least that much.
--That's true, I'm sorry.
Inside the room of the dorms, Norizane is smiling. He looks at Mitsunobu who reclines by the window. Stirred by the wind, Norizane's shirt sways.
The scent of musk tickling the nose, of the sachet that had been put in the hidden pocket of the uniform. The hot day of summer. The grove of trees outside the window.
[Mitsunobu-sama. As you instructed, Tsuchida-sama's arm was cremated, and delivered to his family.]
[.....Aa]
I reply while stretched out on the couch.
Cold wind would blow in from the window that's wide open, is it because I had drawn the curtains, I didn't feel it to be cold. My eyes would pass through the reality, and look at Norizane of the day of summer.
[And, the Imperial Headquarters seem to have decided to withdraw the soldiers from Gashima]
Tokieda, without touching the subject of Mitsunobu's befuddled state even with with a single word, turns over the official papers unconcerned.
---Withdrawal.
If that decision was made much sooner, would stuff have not turned out like this I wonder?
[Are there no other instructions you wish to give?]
Twisting his neck, Mitsunobu partly closes his eyes.
[.........Please let me be alone]
--Thinking about it. You always lacked in judgement since way before.
--Is that so?
--It is. The stuff involving Madchen is a good example. Something that would have been easily settled if you pushed him down or confessed your feelings already, wasn't it because you kept hesitating that he was taken away by a man like that? On top of that, you get treated as my bride.
Norizane's face, because it only shows a sliver of his blunt feelings, he can't smile broadly/because it would increase the feeling of unsociability, he musn't smile broadly.
--That face, how about you did something about it? Madchen will be scared of you if you show a face like that. It's like onigawara(1)]
--...Kaneko.
--More so, aren't you an idiot? 'While saving a person, you yourself gained a watery grave'? There's a limit even to kindness.
Weren't you supposed to come back, and read the stuff I had written?
That without you there, I'd be able to write something.../ What am I supposed to write, if you're not there?
I thought you to be stupid since long ago but, I didn't think you were that foolish.
That you would make your promise with me into wastepaper just because of an aerial attack, you think I'd forgive that?
Before rescuing someone else, why didn't you consider at least that much? Why.
Tokieda seemed to have left after closing the window. The curtains that had been swayed by the wind, losing life, dangled loosely.
The silence that continues on endlessly.
Past the windows glass seperated by a sheet, there were both branches shaking from the wind and, above the blue sky, the form of snowflakes set adrift by the wind--However, as if detached from everything, there is nothing here.
[...I didn't see]
Mitsunobu muttered to himself.
[--I won't believe]
Until your corpse is discovered in the depths of the sea, I won't believe it.
Until I've made certain of the entirety of you with these eyes, I absolutely won't believe it.
The corners of my eyes sting. Only a single teardrop would fall, and be soaked up by the sheets.
The days, only pass by.
As I'm pursued by the piles stacked in front of my eyes, the sun selfishly sets.
''If it's just the matter of 'breathing', even existing may actually be surprisingly simple'' is what I think sometimes.
Even without Norizane, my body would eat, excrete, and if it's late enough in the night - fall asleep automatically.
At the same time as feeling the urge to sneer at my own heartless body, I think 'This may surprisingly be, what people refer to as a persons strength' .
To live freely even if it's just little by little, even if the time I resolved myself to that wasn't that long ago, I can't find the willpower for it no matter where I search inside myself.
[Nii-san, how about you rested a little?]
[I alread am, though?]
Mitsunobu replied, without taking his eyes off the documents.
[I'm sleeping at night, and also taking in enough nourishment. Compared to the soldiers at the foremost line, I have it easy]
[That's not what I'm trying to say-]
Teruaki's hand took away the document Mitsunobu was working on.
[Isn't it that for the last several months, you haven't rested even for one day?]
[...Is that so?]
[It is. How about you just as well relax for a few days in the Hayama neibhorhood?]
[At this time? I'll be spoken ill of as an unpatriotic individual]
Mitsunobu, reclining against the back of the chair, reaches out his hands and takes back the document.
[Please don't take away my work]
[...nii-san]
[Is that all you wanted from me?]
There was the presence of Teruaki turning back. After feeling that the door was closed behind me, I smiled wrily.
That that younger brother, be made to suggest something like that, the face of the me right now probably looks quite awful. Even after thinking that, I lay my eyes on the document I was holding.
....Suddenly, the letters before my eyes seemed to grow blurry.
「…………」
Pretending, I sigh.
--If I immerse myself, I can go on even without thinking. Losing the place I can escape to, is the most scariest right now.
TBC
1 )Well...pictures say much more than words
Next chapter likely will be a bit delayed, as I forgot the file with it at the office so it's up to when I have to go there again as to when I post that/finish translating the rest.
Otherwise - the analysis for our dogs is done...and it's quite not good, as on top of a weak heart+quite bad eyesight/hearing it's practically dead liver. ｼｮﾎﾞｰﾝ(´･ω･`)
--Hey, Tsuchida. Just as an arm, how are you going to read the stuff I write?
As I ask that, Norizane scratched the tip of his nose as if troubled.
--As in the definition of' read, I mean. Other than one's hands, one also needs the eyes to do that. Which means that sour-face also can't be missing and the body too must be there, right? I did think you understood at least that much.
--That's true, I'm sorry.
Inside the room of the dorms, Norizane is smiling. He looks at Mitsunobu who reclines by the window. Stirred by the wind, Norizane's shirt sways.
The scent of musk tickling the nose, of the sachet that had been put in the hidden pocket of the uniform. The hot day of summer. The grove of trees outside the window.
[Mitsunobu-sama. As you instructed, Tsuchida-sama's arm was cremated, and delivered to his family.]
[.....Aa]
I reply while stretched out on the couch.
Cold wind would blow in from the window that's wide open, is it because I had drawn the curtains, I didn't feel it to be cold. My eyes would pass through the reality, and look at Norizane of the day of summer.
[And, the Imperial Headquarters seem to have decided to withdraw the soldiers from Gashima]
Tokieda, without touching the subject of Mitsunobu's befuddled state even with with a single word, turns over the official papers unconcerned.
---Withdrawal.
If that decision was made much sooner, would stuff have not turned out like this I wonder?
[Are there no other instructions you wish to give?]
Twisting his neck, Mitsunobu partly closes his eyes.
[.........Please let me be alone]
--Thinking about it. You always lacked in judgement since way before.
--Is that so?
--It is. The stuff involving Madchen is a good example. Something that would have been easily settled if you pushed him down or confessed your feelings already, wasn't it because you kept hesitating that he was taken away by a man like that? On top of that, you get treated as my bride.
Norizane's face, because it only shows a sliver of his blunt feelings, he can't smile broadly/because it would increase the feeling of unsociability, he musn't smile broadly.
--That face, how about you did something about it? Madchen will be scared of you if you show a face like that. It's like onigawara(1)]
--...Kaneko.
--More so, aren't you an idiot? 'While saving a person, you yourself gained a watery grave'? There's a limit even to kindness.
Weren't you supposed to come back, and read the stuff I had written?
That without you there, I'd be able to write something.../ What am I supposed to write, if you're not there?
I thought you to be stupid since long ago but, I didn't think you were that foolish.
That you would make your promise with me into wastepaper just because of an aerial attack, you think I'd forgive that?
Before rescuing someone else, why didn't you consider at least that much? Why.
Tokieda seemed to have left after closing the window. The curtains that had been swayed by the wind, losing life, dangled loosely.
The silence that continues on endlessly.
Past the windows glass seperated by a sheet, there were both branches shaking from the wind and, above the blue sky, the form of snowflakes set adrift by the wind--However, as if detached from everything, there is nothing here.
[...I didn't see]
Mitsunobu muttered to himself.
[--I won't believe]
Until your corpse is discovered in the depths of the sea, I won't believe it.
Until I've made certain of the entirety of you with these eyes, I absolutely won't believe it.
The corners of my eyes sting. Only a single teardrop would fall, and be soaked up by the sheets.
The days, only pass by.
As I'm pursued by the piles stacked in front of my eyes, the sun selfishly sets.
''If it's just the matter of 'breathing', even existing may actually be surprisingly simple'' is what I think sometimes.
Even without Norizane, my body would eat, excrete, and if it's late enough in the night - fall asleep automatically.
At the same time as feeling the urge to sneer at my own heartless body, I think 'This may surprisingly be, what people refer to as a persons strength' .
To live freely even if it's just little by little, even if the time I resolved myself to that wasn't that long ago, I can't find the willpower for it no matter where I search inside myself.
[Nii-san, how about you rested a little?]
[I alread am, though?]
Mitsunobu replied, without taking his eyes off the documents.
[I'm sleeping at night, and also taking in enough nourishment. Compared to the soldiers at the foremost line, I have it easy]
[That's not what I'm trying to say-]
Teruaki's hand took away the document Mitsunobu was working on.
[Isn't it that for the last several months, you haven't rested even for one day?]
[...Is that so?]
[It is. How about you just as well relax for a few days in the Hayama neibhorhood?]
[At this time? I'll be spoken ill of as an unpatriotic individual]
Mitsunobu, reclining against the back of the chair, reaches out his hands and takes back the document.
[Please don't take away my work]
[...nii-san]
[Is that all you wanted from me?]
There was the presence of Teruaki turning back. After feeling that the door was closed behind me, I smiled wrily.
That that younger brother, be made to suggest something like that, the face of the me right now probably looks quite awful. Even after thinking that, I lay my eyes on the document I was holding.
....Suddenly, the letters before my eyes seemed to grow blurry.
「…………」
Pretending, I sigh.
--If I immerse myself, I can go on even without thinking. Losing the place I can escape to, is the most scariest right now.
TBC
1 )Well...pictures say much more than words
Next chapter likely will be a bit delayed, as I forgot the file with it at the office so it's up to when I have to go there again as to when I post that/finish translating the rest.
Otherwise - the analysis for our dogs is done...and it's quite not good, as on top of a weak heart+quite bad eyesight/hearing it's practically dead liver. ｼｮﾎﾞｰﾝ(´･ω･`)