(no subject)
A few days ago, I had a dream that I was interviewing myself. Or actually, I was interviewing / being interviewed by myselves. It is interesting that I dreamed this up, I didn't know my mind really worked that way.
One self was dressed in a suit. He projected this feeling of excitement over the opportunities that I was getting. I also felt his eagerness to acquire contacts, to network, to be popular, all to achieve his goal: success. He was constantly in a pleasantly happy state. He asked me questions about what skills I had and how we could cooperate to reach our goals, and we got along very well on a superficial level.
Another self projected feelings of love and caretaking. He loved everyone and felt like nothing could possibly go wrong because he just wanted so bad for everyone to be happy. He wanted to be intimately connected to everybody, sharing everyone's feelings and lives. His only negative feeling was his constant concern for others' wellbeing and desire to take care of them and make everything better. Overall, though, he was happy when we interviewed, and thought I was doing well.
The last self was dressed in black, with a chain belt, black spiked hair, and a rude t-shirt. He was the antisocial, punk, nonconformist in me. He was the only one that really "talked" in the interview, and he kept saying "What the fuck are you doing?" Wow was he angry! He would yell, make hand gestures, storm around for a few seconds and then yell some more. I can't even say what he wanted, really, he was just so angry with the way things were. "What the fuck are you doing?!?"
It is interesting that you can sense all that in a dream, without anybody actually talking (except for the "What the fuck are you doing?" of course). Overall, although I was surprised at the format of it, I was not surprised or disturbed at the actual contents of my dream. I could have probably told you all that without the dream. I'm aware, obviously, that I have been giving a lot of the time to the first self over the past few years, so his obvious happiness and excitement make sense. And I have also done a lot of thinking over the past few years about how to improve my relationships with people and focus on others' needs. I have not neglected my do-goodie, touchy-feely loving self in my own mind, although I have had few opportunities to use him in the real world. So his quite contentment also makes sense to me. And of course, it is absolutely NO surprise ~at all~ that my antisocial nonconformist self is totally flipping out. Over the past few years I have actively tried to repress antisocial tendencies, and I have come to accept the usefulness and even, dare I say, necessity of some level of exterior conformity, although inside I think I have not changed.
So yeah, just, you know, interesting how the mind presents itself.
One self was dressed in a suit. He projected this feeling of excitement over the opportunities that I was getting. I also felt his eagerness to acquire contacts, to network, to be popular, all to achieve his goal: success. He was constantly in a pleasantly happy state. He asked me questions about what skills I had and how we could cooperate to reach our goals, and we got along very well on a superficial level.
Another self projected feelings of love and caretaking. He loved everyone and felt like nothing could possibly go wrong because he just wanted so bad for everyone to be happy. He wanted to be intimately connected to everybody, sharing everyone's feelings and lives. His only negative feeling was his constant concern for others' wellbeing and desire to take care of them and make everything better. Overall, though, he was happy when we interviewed, and thought I was doing well.
The last self was dressed in black, with a chain belt, black spiked hair, and a rude t-shirt. He was the antisocial, punk, nonconformist in me. He was the only one that really "talked" in the interview, and he kept saying "What the fuck are you doing?" Wow was he angry! He would yell, make hand gestures, storm around for a few seconds and then yell some more. I can't even say what he wanted, really, he was just so angry with the way things were. "What the fuck are you doing?!?"
It is interesting that you can sense all that in a dream, without anybody actually talking (except for the "What the fuck are you doing?" of course). Overall, although I was surprised at the format of it, I was not surprised or disturbed at the actual contents of my dream. I could have probably told you all that without the dream. I'm aware, obviously, that I have been giving a lot of the time to the first self over the past few years, so his obvious happiness and excitement make sense. And I have also done a lot of thinking over the past few years about how to improve my relationships with people and focus on others' needs. I have not neglected my do-goodie, touchy-feely loving self in my own mind, although I have had few opportunities to use him in the real world. So his quite contentment also makes sense to me. And of course, it is absolutely NO surprise ~at all~ that my antisocial nonconformist self is totally flipping out. Over the past few years I have actively tried to repress antisocial tendencies, and I have come to accept the usefulness and even, dare I say, necessity of some level of exterior conformity, although inside I think I have not changed.
So yeah, just, you know, interesting how the mind presents itself.