Jumbing thoughts in a blog and hope it stays out.
My mom got me a book, "Are you the One?" I haven't picked it up from her, but I hope it clears my thoughts on identifying that lady. I thought I shouldn't count on a book to find someone, but maybe I should count on it to really understand how different I am from my past relationships.
I'm sick of meeting and dating females who don't click and understand my personality. I even lost interested in those who I thought would be a potential. I actually didn't know I would end up liking Miranda this much, and was even scared to risk it. I took the chance on the fact that I just felt so connected on all the accounts we spent time and time together. I started believing when she was trying to find work in Boston. I always thought she enjoyed hanging out, and spending time with me as much as I did. I know there's flaws that we both didn't see or one saw and the other didn't, but it was just me who didn't see them.
One thing for I do hate distance. I want to just leave Boston and go where she is going. I would postponed my goals just to complete hers, but it would be unrealistic, and she probably wouldn't be waiting for me in the end. Fuck, sometimes I feel like my rejected applications caused her to break away...
I'm a guy who hangs onto a lot of events. I know I shouldn't, but I know I can't seem to let go. I don't know how to let go. I wish there's Lacuna Incorporated in Eternal Sunshine to help me let go. I just want to remember that we had a great time without being attached.
I terribly miss her and just want to get over this stage.
This year is going to be a long year...
I hope something good happens soon.
Maybe amnesia, heh. But then I don't want people to have to take care of me.
I just want to jump to years when I find someone who actually loves me.
And know why...
What a piece of shit entry..... after reading all of this.
I'm going to bed. I just hope I don't get a sad dream like last night...
I'm sick of meeting and dating females who don't click and understand my personality. I even lost interested in those who I thought would be a potential. I actually didn't know I would end up liking Miranda this much, and was even scared to risk it. I took the chance on the fact that I just felt so connected on all the accounts we spent time and time together. I started believing when she was trying to find work in Boston. I always thought she enjoyed hanging out, and spending time with me as much as I did. I know there's flaws that we both didn't see or one saw and the other didn't, but it was just me who didn't see them.
One thing for I do hate distance. I want to just leave Boston and go where she is going. I would postponed my goals just to complete hers, but it would be unrealistic, and she probably wouldn't be waiting for me in the end. Fuck, sometimes I feel like my rejected applications caused her to break away...
I'm a guy who hangs onto a lot of events. I know I shouldn't, but I know I can't seem to let go. I don't know how to let go. I wish there's Lacuna Incorporated in Eternal Sunshine to help me let go. I just want to remember that we had a great time without being attached.
I terribly miss her and just want to get over this stage.
This year is going to be a long year...
I hope something good happens soon.
Maybe amnesia, heh. But then I don't want people to have to take care of me.
I just want to jump to years when I find someone who actually loves me.
And know why...
What a piece of shit entry..... after reading all of this.
I'm going to bed. I just hope I don't get a sad dream like last night...