He's Eating Trail Mix, So It Smells Like Peanuts
I've been doing all kinds of things lately.
Last week I (apparently) was attempting to get murdered and/or have my life end up as a Lifetime movie with Raven Simone playing the part of me. It all started when I decided that I really want a secretary desk. They have one at IKEA that sells to the tune of $219. I'm a big fan of novelty items, but not if they break the bank...and are made of imitation materials (let's be serious...laminate?! I don't think so!). So, I scoured Craigslist.com for months to find one. Nothin' doin. Until, that is, last Tuesday. I immediately emailed the seller to ask if it was still available. The post was less than an hour old when I emailed, but even that was too long. Someone had already made plans to go have a look at it that night, but the seller told me she'd let me know if they didn't end up with it. Long story short, the desk was still available the next day, so I made plans to pick it up on Thursday. I had a light bulb pop up in my mind and I thought "Hey Jessica," (<--- that's what I call myself when I'm having internal dialogue) "why don't you ask one of the nice young gentleman you've gotten to know if they wouldn't mind driving out to no man's land with you to pick up that desk from the complete stranger?" But I quickly dismissed that pesky thought when I realized that one of those nice young men would then want to help me carry the desk inside of my apartment. Why would that be so bad? It wouldn't. But in my brain, it would've created a "If You Give A Mouse A Cookie" type of scenario with the young man deciding that he would use my restroom to wash his hands because the desk was dirty. Then maybe he'd grab a drink from the fridge because he's parched after moving the 60lb item. Afterward, he would be too tired to go out for pizza like I'd offered, but he would instead be quite alright plopping down on the couch, ordering in pizza, and catching a movie on cable. At this point...you get the point. So, in order to avoid all of that, I figured I'd go out there alone.
I'm an idiot and a danger to myself, at that.
So, alone I drove out to the country. I knew I wasn't in the city anymore as soon as I came up at the exit from the freeway and saw wide open spaces. Uh...yeah. I drove for 2 miles or so until my GPS told me to make a left onto the road that would lead me to the seller's house. Due to the fact that I was a half hour ahead of time (I may have exceeded the speed limit for a while. Tee hee), I decided to drive to town and waste some time. Little did I know, "town" was another 2 miles out. Let me put it this way: THERE WAS NO CIVILIZATION FOR FOUR MILES! And when I finally found a gas station, I got a lot of looks when I got out of my car. I couldn't decide if I was the first person of color these people were seeing or if my shiny new vehicle stood out in a city of pickup trucks and station wagons. Either way, I was ready to get my desk and get outta dodge.
Finally arriving at the seller's house set in a sprawling field of green at the end of a driveway I would take a jog in to get to the mailbox at the other end, I timidly exited my vehicle and tiptoed up to the front(?) door. I stood patiently on the porch, gagging from what I hope was the smell of sulfur in their water system and not actual rotten egg in the air, all the while wondering what kind of Chainsaw Massacre I was about to experience. I was greeted by a very large man with a thick accent and the cutest little 4yr old girl with sparkling shoes. They sent me around to the side door for the desk and that's where I met the seller, D. She and her giant husband were very kind throughout this process. Unfortunately, the end result was that the desk wouldn't fit in any hole (hold the jokes) in my fancy car -- not the trunk, not the back passenger side, not the front passenger side -- nowhere. So, I left with plans to return within a couple of days with my dad's pickup truck...but I knew that it was going to be as good as gone.
The next day I decided to throw the seller a line; I told her that I'd throw in an extra $20 if she just brought the desk to me. She took the bait and I am now the happy new owner of a secretary desk! AND I didn't get murdered, which is the cherry on top.
That night I went out to celebrate Curly Sue's bday and I told her the story. She's been present during a lot of my poor decisions (i.e. Halloween 2009) so I knew she'd appreciate it. We saw the movie "Take Me Home Tonight". It was pretty cute. We spent the rest of the night eating way too much cheese and playing Erotic Photo Hunt and the local watering hole. Can't be mad about that.
I worked Friday and Saturday night, but I made sure to still hit the town. I'd promised Kahmila that I'd meet up with her and her omnipresent large party at a club to celebrate her boyfriend's birthday. So, I got to hone my changing-in-the-car skills on my way to the club, talking to Average via bluetooth on the way. The club was packed and everyone seemed to be having a good time. I met a guy...and that's all I have to say about that.
Sunday, Spicy and her hubby came to visit. We had breakfast and whatnot. After they left, I spent some time to myself and then went out with my current FOTW. We had some pretty awesome dinner convo and made a spontaneous attempt at catching a concert. Alas, the concert was a no go so we called it a night. There was a pretty funny/awkard moment in there when I showed concern about how the windspeed and temperature was affecting the umbrella holder's hand. Good thing we both have a great sense of humor.
This week has been pretty...stupid. I went home sick from work on Monday (which only got me an extra 2hr break between job #1 and job #2). I've had some ill feelings since then, so I'm starting to feel like I'm not malingering. I'm supposed to make an appointment to see my doctor...but I probably won't do that. What can I say? I'm a rebel.
Last week I (apparently) was attempting to get murdered and/or have my life end up as a Lifetime movie with Raven Simone playing the part of me. It all started when I decided that I really want a secretary desk. They have one at IKEA that sells to the tune of $219. I'm a big fan of novelty items, but not if they break the bank...and are made of imitation materials (let's be serious...laminate?! I don't think so!). So, I scoured Craigslist.com for months to find one. Nothin' doin. Until, that is, last Tuesday. I immediately emailed the seller to ask if it was still available. The post was less than an hour old when I emailed, but even that was too long. Someone had already made plans to go have a look at it that night, but the seller told me she'd let me know if they didn't end up with it. Long story short, the desk was still available the next day, so I made plans to pick it up on Thursday. I had a light bulb pop up in my mind and I thought "Hey Jessica," (<--- that's what I call myself when I'm having internal dialogue) "why don't you ask one of the nice young gentleman you've gotten to know if they wouldn't mind driving out to no man's land with you to pick up that desk from the complete stranger?" But I quickly dismissed that pesky thought when I realized that one of those nice young men would then want to help me carry the desk inside of my apartment. Why would that be so bad? It wouldn't. But in my brain, it would've created a "If You Give A Mouse A Cookie" type of scenario with the young man deciding that he would use my restroom to wash his hands because the desk was dirty. Then maybe he'd grab a drink from the fridge because he's parched after moving the 60lb item. Afterward, he would be too tired to go out for pizza like I'd offered, but he would instead be quite alright plopping down on the couch, ordering in pizza, and catching a movie on cable. At this point...you get the point. So, in order to avoid all of that, I figured I'd go out there alone.
I'm an idiot and a danger to myself, at that.
So, alone I drove out to the country. I knew I wasn't in the city anymore as soon as I came up at the exit from the freeway and saw wide open spaces. Uh...yeah. I drove for 2 miles or so until my GPS told me to make a left onto the road that would lead me to the seller's house. Due to the fact that I was a half hour ahead of time (I may have exceeded the speed limit for a while. Tee hee), I decided to drive to town and waste some time. Little did I know, "town" was another 2 miles out. Let me put it this way: THERE WAS NO CIVILIZATION FOR FOUR MILES! And when I finally found a gas station, I got a lot of looks when I got out of my car. I couldn't decide if I was the first person of color these people were seeing or if my shiny new vehicle stood out in a city of pickup trucks and station wagons. Either way, I was ready to get my desk and get outta dodge.
Finally arriving at the seller's house set in a sprawling field of green at the end of a driveway I would take a jog in to get to the mailbox at the other end, I timidly exited my vehicle and tiptoed up to the front(?) door. I stood patiently on the porch, gagging from what I hope was the smell of sulfur in their water system and not actual rotten egg in the air, all the while wondering what kind of Chainsaw Massacre I was about to experience. I was greeted by a very large man with a thick accent and the cutest little 4yr old girl with sparkling shoes. They sent me around to the side door for the desk and that's where I met the seller, D. She and her giant husband were very kind throughout this process. Unfortunately, the end result was that the desk wouldn't fit in any hole (hold the jokes) in my fancy car -- not the trunk, not the back passenger side, not the front passenger side -- nowhere. So, I left with plans to return within a couple of days with my dad's pickup truck...but I knew that it was going to be as good as gone.
The next day I decided to throw the seller a line; I told her that I'd throw in an extra $20 if she just brought the desk to me. She took the bait and I am now the happy new owner of a secretary desk! AND I didn't get murdered, which is the cherry on top.
That night I went out to celebrate Curly Sue's bday and I told her the story. She's been present during a lot of my poor decisions (i.e. Halloween 2009) so I knew she'd appreciate it. We saw the movie "Take Me Home Tonight". It was pretty cute. We spent the rest of the night eating way too much cheese and playing Erotic Photo Hunt and the local watering hole. Can't be mad about that.
I worked Friday and Saturday night, but I made sure to still hit the town. I'd promised Kahmila that I'd meet up with her and her omnipresent large party at a club to celebrate her boyfriend's birthday. So, I got to hone my changing-in-the-car skills on my way to the club, talking to Average via bluetooth on the way. The club was packed and everyone seemed to be having a good time. I met a guy...and that's all I have to say about that.
Sunday, Spicy and her hubby came to visit. We had breakfast and whatnot. After they left, I spent some time to myself and then went out with my current FOTW. We had some pretty awesome dinner convo and made a spontaneous attempt at catching a concert. Alas, the concert was a no go so we called it a night. There was a pretty funny/awkard moment in there when I showed concern about how the windspeed and temperature was affecting the umbrella holder's hand. Good thing we both have a great sense of humor.
This week has been pretty...stupid. I went home sick from work on Monday (which only got me an extra 2hr break between job #1 and job #2). I've had some ill feelings since then, so I'm starting to feel like I'm not malingering. I'm supposed to make an appointment to see my doctor...but I probably won't do that. What can I say? I'm a rebel.