The New Girl's Application
[ Basics ]
Name: Kathryn Lee
Location: Tallahassee, Florida, most of the time. Or Destin.
Age: 18 years old.
Gender: Female
Sexuality: I like boys.
Pets: A cat named Fiver, and a dog named Pepper.
Significant other: don't have one.
[ Favorites ]
TV show: Not a big tv fan. But, if you insist. Futurama, Southpark, CSI, Law & Order: SVU.
Bands: Dave Matthews Band, Diana Krall, Harry Connick Jr.
Movie: Lord of the Rings, which I can quote like a pro. And Fight Club. Which I also quote on an almost daily basis.
Book: Anything by the Beat writer/poets is good. I love Kerouac to pieces. I like Watership Down by Richard Adams quite a bit, too. It's where my cat's name comes from. I also love all the books I have on the 60's. I like hippies.
Instrument: I'm a music major? I predominately play saxophone, but I know some piano, trumpet, and some percussion technique. (Trust me, it's a little more than just hitting things.)
Dorky phrase: Hm. Tough. Anything sage like that came out of Yoda or Gandalf's mouth will do.
Song: Damnit. Hardest question here. Uh. Right at this moment it's "Jack and Diane" by John Mellencamp. I'm singing it at my next drunken karaoke session.
Quote: "I hate to advocate drugs, violence, alcohol, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." -Hunter S. Thompson
Food: I like sushi a lot. And italian food. Everyone likes italian food.
Writing utensil: wtf? A PENCIL.
Beverage: Bud Light. Or. Unsweet Tea. I'm not a Yankee. Bite me.
Condiment: Chick-Fil-A's Honey Mustard.
Website: Either http://www.penny-arcade.com or http://www.questionablecontent.net
Pickup line: "So... what math class are you in?" (This is all my friend Nick's. I've seen him use it. It worked. Just a hint.)
Type of cheese: Any type of cheese. But that kind that Wallace and Gromit get is best.
[ In-depth ]
Are you a dork? I've been told so quite a bit recently. There's talk of a intervention. Incredulous.
Why are you worthy of this community? I have numerous old-school RPG's on my laptop. I enjoy computers. I am the biggest music geek this side of the Suwanee River. I can quote Freakazoid and Angry Beaver episodes by heart. I frequently block of a day just to watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Again. I have the same birthday as Helena Bonham-Carter and John Wayne. I'm addicted to webcomics and things like myspace and facebook and livejournal. I re-read books when I'm bored. I cried at the end of the last Harry Potter book. Then wrote J.K Rowling telling her that if she killed off any more of my favorite characters, I was going to not buy anything else she ever wrote. EVER. I like Hayao Miyazaki films a lot. I know all the words to the "Rent" soundtrack. I can pick out what classical piece of music is playing in the background of cartoons, most of the time. I went to prom with the drum major in high school. I enjoy science fair projects. Like Mentos/Diet Coke explosions. And microwaving a blank cd for like, 10 seconds. And stupid little things like that. I'm easily amused. I like big words.
What type of dorky activities do you enjoy? Video Games. Fantasy-stuff. Band. Not bathing? Just kidding. I bathe. Normally twice a day. Sometimes more. I'm paranoid that I smell bad.
Write a thirty second commercial advertising yourself.
wtf.
I hate you.
Cue crazy film montage like the one Mark makes in Rent. Only with pictures from my life. Band pictures. etc.
Insert uh. "Open Arms" by Journey.
Then fade out to:
"Kathryn: my anti-drug."
What brand of dork (band, math, science, art, et cetera) are you? Band, for sure. I was the section leader for two years, and the band director was like my second father. No joke. He lectured me on boys and being irresponsible and stuff. And now I'm a music major at FSU. I guess I'm an art nerd, too. Though I didn't know there was such a thing! But I'm thinking about being an art minor, too. We'll see how my music classes go and if they rape me, like I've heard they will. Music theory at 8 AM sounds pretty brutal to me.
If you could ask us a question, what would it be? Can I join the cool-kid club?
Who would make the best Ruler of the Universe, and why? I'd say God. He's doing pretty good so far. What the hell. I'll keep 'im.
What would you do if you were dressed as the one of the following : banana, cupcake, cracker, broom, or choose one of your own. What's the point of the list?! If I were anything I'd be dressed up as a pirate. Because I use the flimsiest pretext to do that anyway. Or batgirl. I have a kickass costume. But off the list, I'd say "cupcake". Because people would refer to me as "Hey cupcake!" and I'd feel cute. And cupcakes taste good. So in case the event ever arose, I could always eat part of my self.
Write an interesting solution to this mathematical problem: 2+2=?
Oh lordy me
math is not my specialty.
Rhyming schemes are more my game,
even if they're rather lame.
How many dorks does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one. And he/she'll be the one that lost the fight to get on the computer to play WoW.
Write a short, creative story about your plot to take over the world.
I marry Jesus.
Then I get all goddess-like on the world.
And it's mine.
(I shouldn't have typed that. It's going to offend someone. I apologize. I jest when it comes to religion, but I really like Jesus and God and lambs and doves and stuff. I read the Bible. I know that the world is going to end soon. Please don't throw holy water on me.)
[ Dorkiest thing to do ]
In the shower: pop in the old Hanson and Backstreet Boys cds and belt out your undying love for elementary-school-age boy bands.
At the mall: Shop at Hot Topic.
With your friends: Quote Wars. God, they're so fun. Plus, friends exist just to conceal hilarious dorky anecdotes and inside jokes.
In the car: Succumb to road rage and while yelling at the other person, get paranoid and try to play it off like you're singing along with a very, very angry piece of classical music.
When you are alone: Find geek references in everything. And I mean everything. It's like a big scavenger hunt.
[ Pictures ]
Provide us with some visual stimulation.
Spotted at the local Chick-Fil-A. It made me laugh mid-order.
[ Your thoughts ]
Please provide us with a few of your own thoughts.
I'm still regretting that commercial thing that I had to do earlier. I don't like celery without peanut butter and raisins. I want another tattoo. What followed Jefferson Starship? I want to sketch.
[ Final Question ]
Did you find Waldo? Waldo found me. He's my bitch.
And a side-note, too let you know how dorky I can be: I'm attending the "Possum Festival" this weekend. From what I've heard, I'm going to be reenacting "A Goofy Movie". As Max.
Null & Void.