(no subject)
So. I've been really emotional recently, I think. I almost started crying this evening at work.
This guy came in with a big party, which is no biggie. I don't even remember what he looked like. But he got a call from home in the middle of his dinner, and took it in one of the big, cushy chairs by the hostess station. I was doodling and not really paying any attention to him, but then his kid got on the phone, and I couldn't help overhearing. He was asking about school, and friends, and asking how mom was. (even though he just talked to her, and she was probably sitting right next to the kid)
I was that kid.
I remember calling dad every couple of days just to "check on him". (At the time, he was working graveyard shift at the sheriff's office. I worried alot as a kid.) And it was the exact same type of conversation that this guy was having now. And I remember dad coming to eat lunch with me at Destin Elementary. That was a big deal, because he would wear his cop uniform, and everyone thought that was so cool. And I had to show off my dad! Thinking about that made me tear up and get all sniffly. I have no idea WHY. I mean, I think or talk about dad every day! But I guess that little things like that are going to be my triggers or something.
And since this was brought up again today, and my dad's passing affects it, I am not very religious. I think that there is a higher being, be it God, Buddha, Allah, whatever. I personally believe in Jesus. However, I'm not very happy with the powers that be.
((For future reference, the most over-used and completely heartless statements that can be made after a death are 1: "It's God's plan/will/etc." and 2: "They're in a better place."))
What's wrong with the plan of growing with that person? What's wrong with this place? Feel free to explain that one to me.
And I apologize now, because if you DO try and explain it to me, I'm liable to bite your head off.
I guess my whole take on it is really selfish. I'm pissed because things didn't go my way. But still... This is different.
-Kathryn out
This guy came in with a big party, which is no biggie. I don't even remember what he looked like. But he got a call from home in the middle of his dinner, and took it in one of the big, cushy chairs by the hostess station. I was doodling and not really paying any attention to him, but then his kid got on the phone, and I couldn't help overhearing. He was asking about school, and friends, and asking how mom was. (even though he just talked to her, and she was probably sitting right next to the kid)
I was that kid.
I remember calling dad every couple of days just to "check on him". (At the time, he was working graveyard shift at the sheriff's office. I worried alot as a kid.) And it was the exact same type of conversation that this guy was having now. And I remember dad coming to eat lunch with me at Destin Elementary. That was a big deal, because he would wear his cop uniform, and everyone thought that was so cool. And I had to show off my dad! Thinking about that made me tear up and get all sniffly. I have no idea WHY. I mean, I think or talk about dad every day! But I guess that little things like that are going to be my triggers or something.
And since this was brought up again today, and my dad's passing affects it, I am not very religious. I think that there is a higher being, be it God, Buddha, Allah, whatever. I personally believe in Jesus. However, I'm not very happy with the powers that be.
((For future reference, the most over-used and completely heartless statements that can be made after a death are 1: "It's God's plan/will/etc." and 2: "They're in a better place."))
What's wrong with the plan of growing with that person? What's wrong with this place? Feel free to explain that one to me.
And I apologize now, because if you DO try and explain it to me, I'm liable to bite your head off.
I guess my whole take on it is really selfish. I'm pissed because things didn't go my way. But still... This is different.
-Kathryn out