(no subject)
I update my myspace journal a little more frequently than this one, it seems. But let me fill you in.
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Aug. 14th
I was talking to someone today about relationships and my lack of having one at the moment.
"Why aren't you in one?" He asked.
"Because I don't want to be." I responded.
Really.
Really, really.
I don't.
My last one sucked, and by getting myself into one now I'm just setting up the stage for the same exact thing to happen, again. Only this time, I'll be the one going away and forgetting about HIM. And that's not fair. I know what it's like to be on the receiving end of that. So there. Also, I don't find anyone attractive at the moment.
Well, I lie. I find people physically appealing, but nobody is racking up points in the mental-stimulation category. And I just can't bring myself to be with someone that I can't carry on legitimate conversations with.
Perhaps that is why I enjoy being around adults more than people my own age at times.
I have more fun telling jokes and discussing things with people old enough to be my parents than with people at school. Maybe because last time I tried to discuss something, it was politics, and everyone minus Mr. Carter, Andrea, and Leslie harassed me about it. And then when I tried to justify what I thought, everyone ignored me. (Except Hunter. He was mumbling about how dumb I was.)
As a result, I don't enjoy talking in there anymore. I left pissed off and shaking, because I thought that I had a valid point. And I hated that everyone just shrugged it off.
What we were talking about was the war, and the comment was made that 9/11 was just an excuse to get involved in a war for oil , etc. And that really made me mad. It was an attack on US. And when OUR firefighters, EMT's, police, etc, went in to save the other citizens, many lost their lives. Half of my family is in one or more branches of the emergency services. So a loss in that community shakes me up because it's like, "Oh God, that could have been my uncle." Or my step-mom. Or my other uncle. Or Shayne. Or my cousin. Why is it right for terrorists to come in and murder people, but it's wrong to take action about it?
The reaction from everyone else was something along the lines of, "We weren't condoning the killing of firemen, but we don't like GW Bush's actions either. He's dumb."
War sucks. It's bloody and lethal and ugly. And I don't like it. But there's never going to be absolute peace. Humans just aren't capable of that. So get off your high-horse and accept the idea that because of the way they are, it's them or us.
Ugh.
But back to relationships.
Or not. I'm tired and I have to go pick up Cody. And a SoBe for myself.
-Kathryn out
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Yesterday:
Of course, after that last post the adorables came out of the woodwork. Damnit.
I'm glad to say that I had a nice progress report, all A's and B's. However, I'm about to fail a Theory test that I prepared for in Jazz band. Like, the things that Smith has taught me (As far as ear-training goes) is all that I know on the subject. So I have some serious studying to do. All in favor of Smith teaching Theory instead say "Aye".
...And now we pretend that there was a resounding chorus of "ayes". ;)
It's so weird, I HATED Smith when he first came here, but now I love him to death! This seems to be a trend with me. I despise people and then totally love them later on. Maybe I judge too quickly.
God, I'm dumb.
But maybe it was just that he had to compete with the overwhelmingly personable Chris Mustell. He was just so much fun and so enthusiastic. THAT'S what Smith lacks! Overt enthusiasm! He loves music, and that's pretty obvious now, but he's just so...passive. He doesn't get into it. Well. He does... but not in the same way.
There I go, talking gibberish again.
As for this hurricane thing, I'm torn. On one hand, I feel so horrible. IT'S horrible! But at the same time, I don't understand why it's my friend's and family's responsibility to go into Louisiana and Mississippi and risk their necks for the people who weren't smart enough to leave. And the audacity of these people! They bitch that we aren't there FAST ENOUGH. Where's the sense in placing your would-be heros in the line of the same disaster? Or in an environment full of crazies with guns? Yes, it is their job to help the people, but it's NOT their job to go into a combat zone full of people who were told to leave, and chose not to.
Dumbasses.
If there's a mandatory evacuation here, you get out or deal with the consequences. Our guys aren't going to come help/find you until it's safe for them. In life, you have to makes decisions. With those decisions come results that may not fit into your original intentions. But you deal. And hopefully learn.
But anyway, I lovelovelove my new job at the Summerhouse! I feel really appreciated. John always makes a point of thanking me and making sure that I'm alright with everything. Which is kind of weird, but a nice switch from the bakery. Where I'm half in-charge and totally in trouble if something screws up. And I think John pays me better, haha.
All the waiters are really cool. And J.Sanders is my band-geek buddy at work. He marched with Southwind a while back. Last Sunday we were discussing some of our favorite pieces, and I was like, "Nothing beats Gustav Holst's Jupiter. Or any of his Planets." And he was like, "Mars is my favorite." Then he started singing it, haha.
One of his favorite corps is Phantom! I was like, you are amazingly cool? Yes, I think so. We were talking about the shows from previous years. I know. I'm such a loser. But it was fun, and really unexpected. Just goes to show you never know what common ground you have with people.
But anyway, I really need to go. Today's been kind of shitty and I just want to go watch a movie and eat my French Dip that mi madre brought me!
Au Jus! -Kathryn out
-----
And it's true! After that post it was like, boys got smart! Insane. Or maybe I quit being a mopey pain in the ass and realized certain things.
Also, after the first post I decided that I hate people, for the most part.
I think I'm a little confused.
I LOST MY GLASSES! :(
That's why yesterday sucked.
-Kathryn out
--------
Aug. 14th
I was talking to someone today about relationships and my lack of having one at the moment.
"Why aren't you in one?" He asked.
"Because I don't want to be." I responded.
Really.
Really, really.
I don't.
My last one sucked, and by getting myself into one now I'm just setting up the stage for the same exact thing to happen, again. Only this time, I'll be the one going away and forgetting about HIM. And that's not fair. I know what it's like to be on the receiving end of that. So there. Also, I don't find anyone attractive at the moment.
Well, I lie. I find people physically appealing, but nobody is racking up points in the mental-stimulation category. And I just can't bring myself to be with someone that I can't carry on legitimate conversations with.
Perhaps that is why I enjoy being around adults more than people my own age at times.
I have more fun telling jokes and discussing things with people old enough to be my parents than with people at school. Maybe because last time I tried to discuss something, it was politics, and everyone minus Mr. Carter, Andrea, and Leslie harassed me about it. And then when I tried to justify what I thought, everyone ignored me. (Except Hunter. He was mumbling about how dumb I was.)
As a result, I don't enjoy talking in there anymore. I left pissed off and shaking, because I thought that I had a valid point. And I hated that everyone just shrugged it off.
What we were talking about was the war, and the comment was made that 9/11 was just an excuse to get involved in a war for oil , etc. And that really made me mad. It was an attack on US. And when OUR firefighters, EMT's, police, etc, went in to save the other citizens, many lost their lives. Half of my family is in one or more branches of the emergency services. So a loss in that community shakes me up because it's like, "Oh God, that could have been my uncle." Or my step-mom. Or my other uncle. Or Shayne. Or my cousin. Why is it right for terrorists to come in and murder people, but it's wrong to take action about it?
The reaction from everyone else was something along the lines of, "We weren't condoning the killing of firemen, but we don't like GW Bush's actions either. He's dumb."
War sucks. It's bloody and lethal and ugly. And I don't like it. But there's never going to be absolute peace. Humans just aren't capable of that. So get off your high-horse and accept the idea that because of the way they are, it's them or us.
Ugh.
But back to relationships.
Or not. I'm tired and I have to go pick up Cody. And a SoBe for myself.
-Kathryn out
--------
Yesterday:
Of course, after that last post the adorables came out of the woodwork. Damnit.
I'm glad to say that I had a nice progress report, all A's and B's. However, I'm about to fail a Theory test that I prepared for in Jazz band. Like, the things that Smith has taught me (As far as ear-training goes) is all that I know on the subject. So I have some serious studying to do. All in favor of Smith teaching Theory instead say "Aye".
...And now we pretend that there was a resounding chorus of "ayes". ;)
It's so weird, I HATED Smith when he first came here, but now I love him to death! This seems to be a trend with me. I despise people and then totally love them later on. Maybe I judge too quickly.
God, I'm dumb.
But maybe it was just that he had to compete with the overwhelmingly personable Chris Mustell. He was just so much fun and so enthusiastic. THAT'S what Smith lacks! Overt enthusiasm! He loves music, and that's pretty obvious now, but he's just so...passive. He doesn't get into it. Well. He does... but not in the same way.
There I go, talking gibberish again.
As for this hurricane thing, I'm torn. On one hand, I feel so horrible. IT'S horrible! But at the same time, I don't understand why it's my friend's and family's responsibility to go into Louisiana and Mississippi and risk their necks for the people who weren't smart enough to leave. And the audacity of these people! They bitch that we aren't there FAST ENOUGH. Where's the sense in placing your would-be heros in the line of the same disaster? Or in an environment full of crazies with guns? Yes, it is their job to help the people, but it's NOT their job to go into a combat zone full of people who were told to leave, and chose not to.
Dumbasses.
If there's a mandatory evacuation here, you get out or deal with the consequences. Our guys aren't going to come help/find you until it's safe for them. In life, you have to makes decisions. With those decisions come results that may not fit into your original intentions. But you deal. And hopefully learn.
But anyway, I lovelovelove my new job at the Summerhouse! I feel really appreciated. John always makes a point of thanking me and making sure that I'm alright with everything. Which is kind of weird, but a nice switch from the bakery. Where I'm half in-charge and totally in trouble if something screws up. And I think John pays me better, haha.
All the waiters are really cool. And J.Sanders is my band-geek buddy at work. He marched with Southwind a while back. Last Sunday we were discussing some of our favorite pieces, and I was like, "Nothing beats Gustav Holst's Jupiter. Or any of his Planets." And he was like, "Mars is my favorite." Then he started singing it, haha.
One of his favorite corps is Phantom! I was like, you are amazingly cool? Yes, I think so. We were talking about the shows from previous years. I know. I'm such a loser. But it was fun, and really unexpected. Just goes to show you never know what common ground you have with people.
But anyway, I really need to go. Today's been kind of shitty and I just want to go watch a movie and eat my French Dip that mi madre brought me!
Au Jus! -Kathryn out
-----
And it's true! After that post it was like, boys got smart! Insane. Or maybe I quit being a mopey pain in the ass and realized certain things.
Also, after the first post I decided that I hate people, for the most part.
I think I'm a little confused.
I LOST MY GLASSES! :(
That's why yesterday sucked.
-Kathryn out