Back in business, back on unemployment…
Sorry if my lasts two posts sucked. No more philosophical/personal meanderings of the written kind.
Condolences go out to all the folks who will be returning to that Turkish prison known as high school, or in some cases, those who will be venturing to hell for the very first time. It’s not so bad when you trip out on codeine with an empty stomach before school. Sure, that always helps quell the pain of first day aptitude tests that place you in “remedial” courses, and finding out that the only person you sit with at lunch is a hentai freak that constantly asks you for your banana but never eats it. Then it’s off to college, and soon enough you’ll be working in the “real” world with “real” people, and glad you have a college degree. It’ll get you some-where, trust me…
I’ve had it up to my bootees (Australian for boots) with all this bullshit about Kabbalah and other self explanatory faiths. Usually, I’d ask someone I know about the subject, but I checked out the Kabbalah website and nearly gouged my eyes out. What is especially getting on my nerves is the medias fascination with these little “blessed” bracelets that celebrities have been wearing. The arrogance of any person believing that their essence is somehow holier than anyone else’s, to the extent that they can sell items they have “blessed,” is worthy of a bitch slap. Seriously. And anyone with half a brain cell would realize that even though Kabbalah has a long tradition of enlightening nincompoops of non Jewish decent, it’s the same damn thing as Scientology. Except without the aliens and shit. Next time your friends say, “Hey, let’s go to a Kabbalah center and learn how our personal divinity is derived from centuries of mystical knowledge,” just tell them to fuck off.
A few days ago, I was watching a spelling bee on television. Like most people, I’m thinking “What the fuck is up with these kids?” They’re zombies. I really don’t see the redeeming qualities of being able to memorize the spelling of words you’re never going to use in a social situation. It's a waste of time that could be used playing videogames or air hockey. Another weird thing about them is that they ask for the definitions of the words, word origins, and alternate pronunciations. What the fuck good does that do you? Quit fucking around and just say you have no clue how to spell the damn word! Fuck spelling bees!!! I was in one a long time ago, but it was a Spanish spelling bee. The only reason I did it was for extra credit, and I was voluntarily ousted in the first round. Totally fucking worth it. I got a free 100 on a quiz and I got out of class too. Yea, don’t hate.
Sooooo…
Who wants to go see Hall & Oates with special guest Michael McDonald (Doobie Brothers)? You probably think I’m messing around, but I’m so serious about this. It’s going to be at Verizon Wireless and because the opening act isn’t some shitty emo band, my guess is that tickets won’t be a hot commodity for the teen elite, which will give me the entire venue to boogie down in. It’ll be FUN!
88% of the people reading this were offended because they just realized Kabbalah is a load of horse shit.