FREAKIN STALKER!!!
OMG! Derek is a freakin psycho. So after all the "Derek watever we had is over." bit, he called me the next day and this is basically our conversation:
"You're really making this hard on me."
"I'm sorry. Wat else am I supposed to do?"
"Realize that you don't like Ben and come back to me."
"Derek, I told you that it was over. But wat is so hard?"
"I can't stop thinking about you. I tried a bunch of times and you keep popping into my head."
"*Laughs* Like I said I'm sorry."
*Total silence goes by for like 5 minutes*
"SO...wat did you call for?"
"Oh...just to say 'hi'."
"HI!"
"Hi."
"okay that's done now wat?"
"I guess I just like talking 2 u cuz i can think about you"
"ok well i'm gonna go. i have hw to do"
*click*
So ya that just kinda weirded me out. I think he's in denial. Denial of the fact that I don't and never will like him again. He's like fucking obsessed. Mary just placed a thought in my mind that I had never thought about before. "What if when you turn 18 he like hunts you down." I never thought about that before and I don't think that will happen, but if if does I have no idea what I would do. I just think he needs to find someone else to like and fast. I feel bad for making him miserable. But what was I supposed to do? Let him be happy while inside I'm screaming? No. I don't fly like that. When I'm uncormfortable about something. I confront it head on. Ben doesn't make me feel that way. He makes me feel good about myself. He doesn't make me feel dirty when he touches me. I definetly like Ben. Derek just needs to get over me. That's it. He needs someone else to fall head over heels for. I felt like a load had been lifted off my shoulders when I told him it was over. Watever the "it" that we had was, it was over. I have felt so good that last few days and I hope it continues. Well, nothing has really happened since last night. So I'm gonna stop skipping class and go to piano/guitar.
"You're really making this hard on me."
"I'm sorry. Wat else am I supposed to do?"
"Realize that you don't like Ben and come back to me."
"Derek, I told you that it was over. But wat is so hard?"
"I can't stop thinking about you. I tried a bunch of times and you keep popping into my head."
"*Laughs* Like I said I'm sorry."
*Total silence goes by for like 5 minutes*
"SO...wat did you call for?"
"Oh...just to say 'hi'."
"HI!"
"Hi."
"okay that's done now wat?"
"I guess I just like talking 2 u cuz i can think about you"
"ok well i'm gonna go. i have hw to do"
*click*
So ya that just kinda weirded me out. I think he's in denial. Denial of the fact that I don't and never will like him again. He's like fucking obsessed. Mary just placed a thought in my mind that I had never thought about before. "What if when you turn 18 he like hunts you down." I never thought about that before and I don't think that will happen, but if if does I have no idea what I would do. I just think he needs to find someone else to like and fast. I feel bad for making him miserable. But what was I supposed to do? Let him be happy while inside I'm screaming? No. I don't fly like that. When I'm uncormfortable about something. I confront it head on. Ben doesn't make me feel that way. He makes me feel good about myself. He doesn't make me feel dirty when he touches me. I definetly like Ben. Derek just needs to get over me. That's it. He needs someone else to fall head over heels for. I felt like a load had been lifted off my shoulders when I told him it was over. Watever the "it" that we had was, it was over. I have felt so good that last few days and I hope it continues. Well, nothing has really happened since last night. So I'm gonna stop skipping class and go to piano/guitar.