Its late at night and I cant sleep...so I lay awake and try to think......~Kristi Lee~
I just want something to go right. I am sitting home, alone...everyone is out and I wish I was too...but no one wants to come get me...I am the loser without a car. God knows when I will get it fix. Probably never cause I have no money. Rents due in a few days and I am broke. I told my parents that I wanted them to pay my rent or atleast some of it as my christmas present...but nope, they just got me a few random things that I dont fucking need instead. Last year, the only thing I ask for was for an underarmer shirt...I didnt get that...just a bunch of random shit. They wonder why I dont come home for shit. What the hells the point. My little brother always gets so much stuff that he wants. I ask for one thing each year and I never get it. I cant stop thinking of all this shit going on. When it rains it pores. They say that there are more suicides this time of year...I can see why. This time of year always sucks for me. I think about how shitty the holidays are. How my parents could care less, even though they pretend to care. My car always seems to break around this time...seriously every year around now. I have no one to tell me everything is going to be alright, because they have no fucking clue how I feel even though they think they do. School is starting in a couple of weeks and I keep thinking about how I have been in school forever and there is still no end in sight. I just want all this shit to be over. I want to graduate and have a real life, and money and a car I can drive without being worried how long it will last. And I wish the person I loved would treat me like a real person instead of ignoring me all the time. I just want to cry in the bath tub the rest of the night ;(