(no subject)
15 things to do while your significant other is taking their sweet-assed time in Wal-Mart : ............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren't looking. ............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. ............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. ............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in house wares......and see what happens. ............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. ............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. ............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department. ............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' ............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 9. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose. ............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. ............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from "Mission Impossible." ............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels. ............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" ............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO ! It's those voices again ! ! ! " ............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... And last but not least : ............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while and then yell loudly "There is no toilet paper in here!" .........................................................................................................................................................................................................