Hell is Other Drivers
Dear American Populace,
I am angry with you for how frequently
you do not turn on your headlights when
it's raining/snowing/sleeting/foggy/early/late.
No, I don't care that you can see. That's
not the point. The point is that you
innevitably drive a white/grey/gold car
and I can't see YOU.
Also, contrary to popular belief, percipitation
does not automatically lower the speed limit by
75%.
Dear Red Pickup Truck,
Yes, I know that you are very large.
No, I don't care how big you are.
There is no excuse at all for parking in the
middle of the street and getting out of the
car to look at the motorcycle for sale in front
of someone's house. I know you like it, and I
know you could haul it in that big bed of yours,
but you didn't even turn on your flashers.
I think though, Mr. Truck, that the most infuriating
thing is how you left both doors open when you were
looking at that two-wheeled wonder. I mean come on!
There you sat, empty and alone in the middle of a
very busy road with your doors opened out spanning
into the oncoming lane leaving anyone behind you with
no hope of seeing around to know if it is safe to pass.
I also want you to realize that there was a parking lot
adjacent to that motorbike you were salivating over.
You probably don't know what adjacent means.
I am angry with you for how frequently
you do not turn on your headlights when
it's raining/snowing/sleeting/foggy/early/late.
No, I don't care that you can see. That's
not the point. The point is that you
innevitably drive a white/grey/gold car
and I can't see YOU.
Also, contrary to popular belief, percipitation
does not automatically lower the speed limit by
75%.
Dear Red Pickup Truck,
Yes, I know that you are very large.
No, I don't care how big you are.
There is no excuse at all for parking in the
middle of the street and getting out of the
car to look at the motorcycle for sale in front
of someone's house. I know you like it, and I
know you could haul it in that big bed of yours,
but you didn't even turn on your flashers.
I think though, Mr. Truck, that the most infuriating
thing is how you left both doors open when you were
looking at that two-wheeled wonder. I mean come on!
There you sat, empty and alone in the middle of a
very busy road with your doors opened out spanning
into the oncoming lane leaving anyone behind you with
no hope of seeing around to know if it is safe to pass.
I also want you to realize that there was a parking lot
adjacent to that motorbike you were salivating over.
You probably don't know what adjacent means.