It's been a while....
Where to begin...
Or is there a begining to all the crap that has happenend in my life in the last few months. As i sit here.. listenting to the monst elegant and wonderful of songs that has in it thunder and rumbling.. sun.. to the old english ways.. i am remeinded.. that we are all traped.. into this great cog of a wheel and everything in life is for one end.. to make our death as good as possible and hopefully leave a legacy behind.
We, as primal being, with the most intelegence in the races and speices of hte wolr.d.. can cure things like cancers... can spout poetry and prose to suit the masses, manufacute and love upwards and over with heroic feats of comassionand caring. But yet... why do those of us individuals fell as if our lives are at a standstill. One of us.. somewhere in this world.. is contepmpaling sometime... an end to his exsistance. Another one.. suceeds. But sitll, thse people i do not belive see the larger adventure out there... that LIFE itself is the biggest and most pretios thing that we have given to us at the moment of birth. W are cared for, nurtred and loves, though not for all of us it is in equal amounts. Someone has to teach us, show us how to survive. Those children... abused, hurt, maimined and neglected.. often wonder why.. to their own ends, that this life has forsaken then.
I... in my own little bubble of reality... have found solace behind the keyboard.. crativity and love.. from those others out there in the digital world.. who in time have become my only sanity at times when I most need them. I love alot of them.. as family.. and if needed and withim my means, I would love to help them at any cost. but here i sit.. content.. to now and hope.. that everyone of them is alright. My family.. my friends.. are the only reason too, like a desperate child, I Keep going.
Not fear of death, not fear of retribution or that whatever gods live in the near-beyond keep and say a razor from my wrist. Pathetic relaly.. when you think about it. That one could slump so far in the beliefe in themselves that they see this an thier only way out. Nay I say to life... do your worst... so I can come back and curb stomp you into a mudhole. Things may not go as you want... and things may not seem to be right... But speaking as one who as walked and dances with death on numerous an occasion... Wrestled with it... and have been kicked down more than once... only to get up and deny it what it wants... my life. I am remindred of my friends... those... who by my passing would mourn me... and remembermeo occasionaly.
Kon.
(P.S. I leave my typos.. cuz i dont care to impress ppl.. this is me.. in raw from.)
Or is there a begining to all the crap that has happenend in my life in the last few months. As i sit here.. listenting to the monst elegant and wonderful of songs that has in it thunder and rumbling.. sun.. to the old english ways.. i am remeinded.. that we are all traped.. into this great cog of a wheel and everything in life is for one end.. to make our death as good as possible and hopefully leave a legacy behind.
We, as primal being, with the most intelegence in the races and speices of hte wolr.d.. can cure things like cancers... can spout poetry and prose to suit the masses, manufacute and love upwards and over with heroic feats of comassionand caring. But yet... why do those of us individuals fell as if our lives are at a standstill. One of us.. somewhere in this world.. is contepmpaling sometime... an end to his exsistance. Another one.. suceeds. But sitll, thse people i do not belive see the larger adventure out there... that LIFE itself is the biggest and most pretios thing that we have given to us at the moment of birth. W are cared for, nurtred and loves, though not for all of us it is in equal amounts. Someone has to teach us, show us how to survive. Those children... abused, hurt, maimined and neglected.. often wonder why.. to their own ends, that this life has forsaken then.
I... in my own little bubble of reality... have found solace behind the keyboard.. crativity and love.. from those others out there in the digital world.. who in time have become my only sanity at times when I most need them. I love alot of them.. as family.. and if needed and withim my means, I would love to help them at any cost. but here i sit.. content.. to now and hope.. that everyone of them is alright. My family.. my friends.. are the only reason too, like a desperate child, I Keep going.
Not fear of death, not fear of retribution or that whatever gods live in the near-beyond keep and say a razor from my wrist. Pathetic relaly.. when you think about it. That one could slump so far in the beliefe in themselves that they see this an thier only way out. Nay I say to life... do your worst... so I can come back and curb stomp you into a mudhole. Things may not go as you want... and things may not seem to be right... But speaking as one who as walked and dances with death on numerous an occasion... Wrestled with it... and have been kicked down more than once... only to get up and deny it what it wants... my life. I am remindred of my friends... those... who by my passing would mourn me... and remembermeo occasionaly.
Kon.
(P.S. I leave my typos.. cuz i dont care to impress ppl.. this is me.. in raw from.)