Grad Students
So I decided I needed to post again. It's been too long since I wrote out a good rant. And, alas, it is time.
The topic today? Grad students.
If you are in college, have ever attended college, or just know what college is, you know that grad students suck. I'm not one for sweeping generalizations (hahaha, couldn't get that one out without laughing), but this one is true. If, by chance, you have not had the pleasure of recognizing a graduate student in your class (AKA, you are deaf, dumb, and blind), then let me make you a quick checklist for picking them out. Please print up this list and carry it with you to all of your classes so that you too may be able to recognize the people you will come to loathe.
Qualities of Grad Students (must fulfill at least 5 characteristics to get into grad school - I swear it's on the GRE)
- Pompous
- Dressed up (AKA, not jeans or sweatpants)
- Douchebag expression on face
- Nods and stares at the instructor while he/she is speaking
- Usually is of the "old balls" variety
- Speaks another (non-native) language besides English
- Makes sure others know that he/she speaks another non-native language
- Asks the instructor ridiculously long-winded questions
- Usually has the reading assignments memorized
- Demonstrates this by quoting and referencing page numbers
- Does not interact with undergraduates
- If he/she makes an attempt at humor, no one laughs
- Has no soul
Ok, so maybe all grad students aren't as obnoxious as I described above. But I have yet to come across one who doesn't fit at least half of the qualities listed above. If someone were to show me a grad student who does not act like the qualities above, I will instantly disregard my blanket generalization of all graduate students. But in my 95 hours of undergraduate education, I have only found asshole grad students. Maybe it's just the history grad students who act this way, but I have heard from other sources that the douchebagery extends outside of the realm of the Liberal Arts College. I dare someone to prove me wrong.