Death
"I'm not going to die,
I'm going home
Like a shooting star."--Sojourner Truth
Fuck that. I don't know about the rest of you, but I want to die in a way that's as badass as I am. I do not want to be surrounded by my loved ones. I do not want to tell my grandkids that I'll "be with them forever" in their hearts. I do not want to drift quietly and peacefully into the afterlife. I wanna greet Satan screaming, kicking, and, most of all, enjoying my last few seconds of the mortal world. That's not to say that I plan on dying any time soon. But if I knew that Death was around the corner, I'd surprise His ass and meet him halfway there.
A Note to Death--
Please do not bring me into my immortal world (hell) unless I am doing one of the following when You decide to claim my life:
*Getting my eardrums blown out at a concert
*Overdosing on drugs and alcohol with Maggie
*Falling out of an airplane
*Getting struck by lightning
*Eating cheese (the most pleasurable death EVER)
*Involved in a knife fight with Carson Daly
*Saving someone else's life
Haha, just kidding about that last one. You know how I like to josh with you, Death. Give el diablo a high five for me.
~Jill
Seriously, though, I want people to be talking about my death years after I die. And not in a way like "oh, it's so sad she died, she gave so much to the porn industry" but in a way like "I didn't even know you could die of streaking across a football field!" My (possible) children won't be upset cuz they'll be too amazed at my badass exit from earth to mourn.
So if I am ever (hell, -er, HEAVEN forbid) diagnosed with a fatal illness, expect me to take up cliffdiving, mountain climbing, tornado watching, and of course, sex, drugs, & rock n roll.