im so insane
i dont even know why im writing. i got depressed when i saw his nick on messenger. it wasnt anything that should have upset me.. but somehow, some way.. it did. ...so i deleted him. id never go back with him, and we didnt even have anything that special.. i dont even know why it upset me. i guess i just wish that he was miserable without me. and i know that hes not. thats what makes me this way. its because he can live without me... and i can live without him. im looking for someone who feels the same way as me.. and i dont think hes out there. ..im not really even looking.. thats just what i ultimatly want.
i think highschool relationships are a waste of time. you just go thought guys that could be worth men when they're older, but you'll never know, becasue the majority of relationships end badly, and if they dont, and you become friends... then thats all you'll ever be... friends.
friends are another thing that boggles by mind -- guy friends, that is. its common knowledge that guy/girl friends flirt... but the question is.... how do you know when its gok to cross the line between friends and more than friends?
what was i on when i painted my room? what posessed me to pick these colors? they're making me crazy. i feel like im in a crazy house, or a clowns house. pink, yellow, orange and purple. i want it blue and white, but if i tell my mother that, she'd rip my head off.
why do i feel the need to throw out everything hes ever touched? i feel so betrayed. thats the perfect word for it. IT being what he did to me. everytime i think about it/him my stomach turns. why do our bodies do this to us? if only our concious mind controlled more of our bodies.. more of our emotions. i wish i could control who i fall in love with. and i wish there was a flashing over my perfect guys head.
im not sure if i believe in love anymore. i thought i was in love with him, but im not so sure at the moment. im behinning to believe that its just infatuation. maybe love is just a term we use for the feelings we get when we meet someone our body and mind reacts to, because we cant stay to leave something go unexplained...
like when we yawn, we take it as a sign that our body and mind need rest.
yeah. im fucking CRAZY.
i think highschool relationships are a waste of time. you just go thought guys that could be worth men when they're older, but you'll never know, becasue the majority of relationships end badly, and if they dont, and you become friends... then thats all you'll ever be... friends.
friends are another thing that boggles by mind -- guy friends, that is. its common knowledge that guy/girl friends flirt... but the question is.... how do you know when its gok to cross the line between friends and more than friends?
what was i on when i painted my room? what posessed me to pick these colors? they're making me crazy. i feel like im in a crazy house, or a clowns house. pink, yellow, orange and purple. i want it blue and white, but if i tell my mother that, she'd rip my head off.
why do i feel the need to throw out everything hes ever touched? i feel so betrayed. thats the perfect word for it. IT being what he did to me. everytime i think about it/him my stomach turns. why do our bodies do this to us? if only our concious mind controlled more of our bodies.. more of our emotions. i wish i could control who i fall in love with. and i wish there was a flashing over my perfect guys head.
im not sure if i believe in love anymore. i thought i was in love with him, but im not so sure at the moment. im behinning to believe that its just infatuation. maybe love is just a term we use for the feelings we get when we meet someone our body and mind reacts to, because we cant stay to leave something go unexplained...
like when we yawn, we take it as a sign that our body and mind need rest.
yeah. im fucking CRAZY.