(no subject)
I don't know what to do anymore. I thuoght I'd grown and matured so much. I thought i had disatached myself from everything external in my life. I was so fucking happy, for like... 3 weeks. Completle bliss. Completely self generated... i stopped taking that stupid medicine like 2 monthes ago. In the span of 30 minutes i completly degenerated to a state in which I've never been before. I'm really trully scarred because i don't know whats wrong with me. I've never felt this out of control before, and i don't even mean my life and shit, i mean physically. I've been sitting here for about an hour and a half now just shaking. And i can't stop. And i don't know what to do. I can't even play guitar... the only thing that calms me when i'm upset... because i'm shaking so badly.
To all the people that have asked me why I've changed so much, why i've become so distant, why i've become so cold: this is your answer. I never want to have to feel like this again. I never want someone elses actions to have this much power over me.
I wish I could just fall asleep and never wake up....
To all the people that have asked me why I've changed so much, why i've become so distant, why i've become so cold: this is your answer. I never want to have to feel like this again. I never want someone elses actions to have this much power over me.
I wish I could just fall asleep and never wake up....