(no subject)
For whatever reason, it's 1:45 and i'm awake. Some dumb bitch called me about 15 minutes ago and woke me out of my peaceful drunken slumber, and it is entirely too hot to get back to sleep.
I long for change. Yet I'm subjected to repetition. Who's fault is this? God? Budha? George W? The thing i'm starting to realize is that I have absolutly no one to blame for the way my life goes then myself. I'm very very very good at reading people. I'm also very very very niave. Some charachter flaws are just inescapeable, i've come to realize, and after being around them for so long, i should learn to accept them and let it go as opposed to thinking some unrealistic change is going to come about. It's my longing to hold on to a comfort zone of familiarity which keeps me from change. People don't change. I've reached a new pinacle of self appreciation. I'm really quite happy with myself and my life for prettty much the first time in... well, ever. I don't need to be putting effort into fruitless ventures and possibly setting myself up for disapointment. It's funny, i'm not even upset or anything. I'm just drunk and being philisophical. The point of this story is that no longer am i gonna work to have someone or something in my life whom which doesn't give the same effort back.
I long for change. Yet I'm subjected to repetition. Who's fault is this? God? Budha? George W? The thing i'm starting to realize is that I have absolutly no one to blame for the way my life goes then myself. I'm very very very good at reading people. I'm also very very very niave. Some charachter flaws are just inescapeable, i've come to realize, and after being around them for so long, i should learn to accept them and let it go as opposed to thinking some unrealistic change is going to come about. It's my longing to hold on to a comfort zone of familiarity which keeps me from change. People don't change. I've reached a new pinacle of self appreciation. I'm really quite happy with myself and my life for prettty much the first time in... well, ever. I don't need to be putting effort into fruitless ventures and possibly setting myself up for disapointment. It's funny, i'm not even upset or anything. I'm just drunk and being philisophical. The point of this story is that no longer am i gonna work to have someone or something in my life whom which doesn't give the same effort back.