On the side of the road
Today could be describe as odd and weird, but honestly just wack.
let me ask you this dear readers, have you ever loved someone so much you were willing enough to shut up about your feelings to give him more space and plunged yourself in your own grief when that person went into a relationship with someone you care about to?
I have, and it felt like crap.
I went trough hell when I loved this guy; gossip, backstabs, spread of everyting I felt from him. it was painful
nevertheless, I loved him. i've learnt to let go so I don't love him in passion anymore, but I still do care for him, a lot.
But at the same time, I can't stop feeling like my feelings are taken for granted. He doesn't care. It felt like me loving him is normal. like every girl should be under his charm. Is it? no. He's not the best looking around. But i loved him for his small kindness.
But now tell me, he has broken up with his gf bcuz of hardship and complications. Also, as he admitted it, he fell out of love.
So the girls left with a broken heart, shattered into gazillion pieces and in tears. But at the same time the guy is guilty and feels pain to.
but all in all, who's side should I take? The guy that i loved so much or the girl who went out with him even knowing my feelings for him?
I don't blame her for going out with him, she loved him too. No ones to blame for that. I gave her permission to go out with him, so i cant blame her.
but again, her heart has been broken, her love trampled on. obviously its the guys fault you would say, but who am i to judge?
he probably went trough a lot, and now playing the 'my life is so pitiful and hard' game. I dont blame him either. he does have a harsh life.
but how should I react? Does this news tell me of how little I knew of the man I loved? is he really, as I came to realize, the heartless man he is?
All that i know is, I want to hug him. But I can feel my own sin for this, for I would be acting unfair and illogical to how things really work.
But how can you blame me? I loved him so much, I accepted all the hardship I went trough for his happiness.
Maybe I should change my set of mind and think more straight..
but in all, I still care for him..
And to L, I'm sorry for your tears and pain. Plz dont be sad anymore.
Note for the day : Get my prioritize straight