Yamada’s Guide to Surviving Drama Club
Title: Yamada’s Guide to Surviving Drama Club
Rating: PG
Pairing: Chiinen Yuuri/Morimoto Ryuutaro & some implied ships
Genre: Humor/Romance
Word count: 1,656
Disclaimer: Yeah, I have them locked in my closet right now. /sarcasm
Summary: “You will wear a dress and kiss Chiinen, and you WILL like it!” With that final order, she shoved him back down, plopping into her seat. “Now any questions?”
A/N: For my wonderful imouto-chan, because the other one was way, way, way too short.
And honestly? I have an obsession with Romeo and Juliet.
-
Uhh, hi, I’m Yamada Ryosuke, co-director/vice president of the Drama Club. Do you have a passion for acting, or maybe you just want to get over your stage fright? Or, don’t tell me, you’re just here to stare at the pretty bishounen? That’s fine, because 75% of the girls who join end up being in costume and wardrobe just so they can stare at Yuuto some more, anyways.
So a few people have been complaining about how drama is hard to live through, quite impossible to actually, and that it’s like being put on a deserted island with only a cat and Takaki (I digress, but having Takaki on a deserted island with you is possibly worse), and have asked me to make a guide on how I’ve survived the three whole years with a possibly mentally unstable director and staff members so difficult even a saint would lose patience.
Although I’m not the best writer, I’ve collected a few tips and guidelines everyone should follow, also an anecdote that’s extremely common and redundant in the world of theatre to illustrate my points. Enjoy.
-
Tip 1: Always do the roles you’re assigned to regardless if you hate it with a passion.
“WHAT THE HELL IS THIS ABOUT?!”
The majority of drama club flinched at the sound of a boy’s voice raised way octaves too high for it to be humanly possible, but the girl the scream was directed to merely smiled cordially, leaning forward onto the desk as though she were discussing a business prospect with him. “Calm down and take a seat, ne, Morimoto-kun?” she prompted, gesturing at the seat that had (magically) appeared out of nowhere.
“I’m a fourteen year old BOY; I have better things to do than to dress up as a girl!” Ryuutaro shrieked, voice trilling to impossible notes. Director-san narrowed her eyes, sliding across the desk to grab a fistful of his shirt, jerking him up, a sneer on her face.
Gulping and already regretting pissing her off, the boy shut his eyes, willing it all to go away. But of course, that tactic, as we’ve learned as young children, never works. “You will wear a dress and kiss Chiinen, and you WILL like it!” With that final order, she shoved him back down, plopping into her seat. “Now any questions?”
“…no,” he murmured, voice quiet as he avoided her gaze. “Wait, wait, no one said anything about kissing Chiinen!” But by the time Ryuutaro had voiced his concern on this subject, Director-san had already flounced off, giving orders and saying things like, ‘Yamada, hurry, I don’t pay you to sit around!’ (‘Asuka-chan, you don’t pay me at all.’) and ‘Nakajima, Okamoto, stop flirting and get to work!’ (‘We weren’t, I swear!’)
Groaning, Ryuutaro leaned back into the chair, cursing his own luck. He was fine with being Juliet-hey, getting girls to fawn over you, no matter what the occasion, was fun-but they just had to choose him for Romeo. Stupid, rich, “Oh god, you’re so adorable!” Chiinen Yuuri. Just the thought of him made Ryuutaro want to kick something, preferably something like a cute, innocent puppy.
It was gut feeling, the way Chiinen made him annoyed and awkward at the same time. He didn’t really know what, but he was pretty sure it was complete and utter loathing that caused these feelings.
Ah, denial. It’s awesome isn’t it?
Tip 2: Always avoid the guy who’s moping about his role; he’ll explode on you as soon as he gets the chance.
-
Tip 3: Always, always, always make sure that you can differentiate between personal and business relationships.
Hands at his hips, Chiinen eyed Ryuutaro warily, unable to cope with the death glares being sent his way. A few of the makeup girls sighed and patted him on the head, assuring their Romeo that Juliet was just getting into the role of “hating a Montague”.
Honestly, he didn’t know what was going through Director-san’s head when she planned this. Something about staying true to Shakespearean theatre and making the whole cast boys instead of having girls play the girl parts. Couldn’t they have done something like Hamlet? So much easier.
Chiinen sighed, waiting on the cue for the balcony scene. They had decidedly skipped the first kiss scene, out of convenience and mere fact that it was still slightly uncomfortable for Ryuutaro. However, though he had been doing this for as long as he could remember, Chiinen felt himself to be just as uncomfortable about being in this role as Ryuutaro might have felt.
Only because it was Ryuutaro who was Juliet, he supposed.
“Go, for ‘tis in vain / To seek him here that means not be found,” Daiki spoke his lines the way a professional would, and as he and Hikaru exit the stage, Chiinen stepped in, taking deep, careful breaths and trying not to be nervous. Stomach twisting into knots, he walked stiffly across the floor.
Praying to all and any deities, he began, sure that his voice was shaking, “He jests at scars that never wound.” Extreme struggling could be heard from beyond the curtain they used as backstage during practice, and only after a full five minutes had past did Yabu manage to sling Ryuutaro over his shoulder and bring the struggling boy out.
Sucking in his breath, Chiinen barely found his voice in time to speak, and stuttered while doing so, “But soft! What light through yonder window break? / It is the east, and Juliet is the-” Cut off abruptly by ‘Juliet’ bolting off the second Yabu loosened his grip and slamming the door, he stood there for a moment, dumbfounded.
“Chiinen?” Ryosuke asked, tapping him on the shoulder. Said boy turned around to glare, ‘hmph’ed and then walked away, his dark aura flooding the room with utter despair like a black hole.
Tip 4: Hell hath no fury like a prima donna/primo uomo scorned. Also, the ingénues are not as innocent as they appear to be, they bite, hard.
-
Tip 5: Avoid pissing off the director if you happen to value your life.
This wasn’t happening. His heart rate had jumped up forty beats in the past two minutes alone. They had gone through rehearsal thus far smoothly; no one was jumping anyone-not yet at least. Face aflame forty different shades of red, Ryuutaro jumped back and pushed Chiinen away, backing up against the wall. “I can’t do it! Director-san!”
There was a pregnant pause and tension so thick you could cut it with a butter knife, before a very shrill, inhuman scream of frustration was heard, and less experienced staff dived for the nearest cover, scrambling under tables. This was insane, just like something you would see in the Exorcist.
Although the main cast was generally unfazed by her outburst, since Director-san had worse ones up her sleeve anyways, they couldn’t help but take a step away from Ryuutaro. More sensible ones like Yabu crossed his fingers and prayed that the younger boy would make it out alive. Inoo just laughed.
“Just do the scene! Is it that hard? Do anything, just kiss him, is it that such a difficult concept to grasp?” she exasperated, rubbing her temples, mumbling something about “Yamada, get me water. Now,” and continued, “We’re not leaving until you get this scene right. I will settle for nothing less than a passionate kiss since you’re blindly in love right now.”
Retorting with equal ferocity, Ryuutaro snapped, “I told you! I’m fourteen! I have better things than this!” Making an animalistic sound from the back of his throat, he bared his teeth, stubbornly refusing everything that was currently going through his mind. “You just, ugh! What the hell! Chiinen of all people too!”
As this shouting match commenced and the audience watched with bating breaths, no one noticed Chiinen walking over to Ryuutaro, expression stern and determined.
Tip 6: A little insider, love on the set, it’s not hard to obtain. Just make sure you and your crush have roles as each other’s romantic interest, and then everything’s going to play out like the movies. I’m being completely serious.
“You know what, Ryuutaro? Just shut up and kiss me already,” he growled aggressively, quite the frightening sight paired with the innocent face he had, and grabbed Ryuutaro by the front of his dress, yanking him down for a hard kiss.
The whole clubroom erupted into applause for the successful completion of the scene they had been working on for three hours. Inoo snickered, already having predicted this outcome when the cast list had came out, and turned to the techies of the club, evil grin on his face as they grumbled and forked out 2000 yen each.
And as Shakespeare would say, all’s well that ends well.
“It’s been half an hour! Get a freaking room, you two!”
For now, at least.
A few months later…
“Yamada! Can you get Morimoto and Chiinen to stop making out on the couch every five minutes? We have a freaking play to do!” Director-san called from over her shoulder, reviewing over the script Yabu had just finished writing a moment ago and trying her hardest to ignore the rather loud and distracting noises coming from one corner of the clubroom.
The co-director whipped his head around to face the girl, a grimace on his face before managing rather weakly, “…again? Asuka-chan, this is the eighth time today!” Seeing her nod furiously, he let out a cry of despair. Resisting the innate urge to slam his head into the wall, Ryosuke folded his arms across his chest, slowly inching his way over to the still intertwined couple.
This was going to be a long six weeks.
Tip 7,453: You can’t survive drama club. Asuka-chan will make your life a living hell; join if only you have a death wish. Whoops, I should have told you that before you signed up, ne?
Footnotes: I kind of lol at that Ryo-chan is the only one that calls me Director-san by her name.
Rather rushed, I think, but it was really amusing to write. ♥
Rating: PG
Pairing: Chiinen Yuuri/Morimoto Ryuutaro & some implied ships
Genre: Humor/Romance
Word count: 1,656
Disclaimer: Yeah, I have them locked in my closet right now. /sarcasm
Summary: “You will wear a dress and kiss Chiinen, and you WILL like it!” With that final order, she shoved him back down, plopping into her seat. “Now any questions?”
A/N: For my wonderful imouto-chan, because the other one was way, way, way too short.
And honestly? I have an obsession with Romeo and Juliet.
-
Uhh, hi, I’m Yamada Ryosuke, co-director/vice president of the Drama Club. Do you have a passion for acting, or maybe you just want to get over your stage fright? Or, don’t tell me, you’re just here to stare at the pretty bishounen? That’s fine, because 75% of the girls who join end up being in costume and wardrobe just so they can stare at Yuuto some more, anyways.
So a few people have been complaining about how drama is hard to live through, quite impossible to actually, and that it’s like being put on a deserted island with only a cat and Takaki (I digress, but having Takaki on a deserted island with you is possibly worse), and have asked me to make a guide on how I’ve survived the three whole years with a possibly mentally unstable director and staff members so difficult even a saint would lose patience.
Although I’m not the best writer, I’ve collected a few tips and guidelines everyone should follow, also an anecdote that’s extremely common and redundant in the world of theatre to illustrate my points. Enjoy.
-
Tip 1: Always do the roles you’re assigned to regardless if you hate it with a passion.
“WHAT THE HELL IS THIS ABOUT?!”
The majority of drama club flinched at the sound of a boy’s voice raised way octaves too high for it to be humanly possible, but the girl the scream was directed to merely smiled cordially, leaning forward onto the desk as though she were discussing a business prospect with him. “Calm down and take a seat, ne, Morimoto-kun?” she prompted, gesturing at the seat that had (magically) appeared out of nowhere.
“I’m a fourteen year old BOY; I have better things to do than to dress up as a girl!” Ryuutaro shrieked, voice trilling to impossible notes. Director-san narrowed her eyes, sliding across the desk to grab a fistful of his shirt, jerking him up, a sneer on her face.
Gulping and already regretting pissing her off, the boy shut his eyes, willing it all to go away. But of course, that tactic, as we’ve learned as young children, never works. “You will wear a dress and kiss Chiinen, and you WILL like it!” With that final order, she shoved him back down, plopping into her seat. “Now any questions?”
“…no,” he murmured, voice quiet as he avoided her gaze. “Wait, wait, no one said anything about kissing Chiinen!” But by the time Ryuutaro had voiced his concern on this subject, Director-san had already flounced off, giving orders and saying things like, ‘Yamada, hurry, I don’t pay you to sit around!’ (‘Asuka-chan, you don’t pay me at all.’) and ‘Nakajima, Okamoto, stop flirting and get to work!’ (‘We weren’t, I swear!’)
Groaning, Ryuutaro leaned back into the chair, cursing his own luck. He was fine with being Juliet-hey, getting girls to fawn over you, no matter what the occasion, was fun-but they just had to choose him for Romeo. Stupid, rich, “Oh god, you’re so adorable!” Chiinen Yuuri. Just the thought of him made Ryuutaro want to kick something, preferably something like a cute, innocent puppy.
It was gut feeling, the way Chiinen made him annoyed and awkward at the same time. He didn’t really know what, but he was pretty sure it was complete and utter loathing that caused these feelings.
Ah, denial. It’s awesome isn’t it?
Tip 2: Always avoid the guy who’s moping about his role; he’ll explode on you as soon as he gets the chance.
-
Tip 3: Always, always, always make sure that you can differentiate between personal and business relationships.
Hands at his hips, Chiinen eyed Ryuutaro warily, unable to cope with the death glares being sent his way. A few of the makeup girls sighed and patted him on the head, assuring their Romeo that Juliet was just getting into the role of “hating a Montague”.
Honestly, he didn’t know what was going through Director-san’s head when she planned this. Something about staying true to Shakespearean theatre and making the whole cast boys instead of having girls play the girl parts. Couldn’t they have done something like Hamlet? So much easier.
Chiinen sighed, waiting on the cue for the balcony scene. They had decidedly skipped the first kiss scene, out of convenience and mere fact that it was still slightly uncomfortable for Ryuutaro. However, though he had been doing this for as long as he could remember, Chiinen felt himself to be just as uncomfortable about being in this role as Ryuutaro might have felt.
Only because it was Ryuutaro who was Juliet, he supposed.
“Go, for ‘tis in vain / To seek him here that means not be found,” Daiki spoke his lines the way a professional would, and as he and Hikaru exit the stage, Chiinen stepped in, taking deep, careful breaths and trying not to be nervous. Stomach twisting into knots, he walked stiffly across the floor.
Praying to all and any deities, he began, sure that his voice was shaking, “He jests at scars that never wound.” Extreme struggling could be heard from beyond the curtain they used as backstage during practice, and only after a full five minutes had past did Yabu manage to sling Ryuutaro over his shoulder and bring the struggling boy out.
Sucking in his breath, Chiinen barely found his voice in time to speak, and stuttered while doing so, “But soft! What light through yonder window break? / It is the east, and Juliet is the-” Cut off abruptly by ‘Juliet’ bolting off the second Yabu loosened his grip and slamming the door, he stood there for a moment, dumbfounded.
“Chiinen?” Ryosuke asked, tapping him on the shoulder. Said boy turned around to glare, ‘hmph’ed and then walked away, his dark aura flooding the room with utter despair like a black hole.
Tip 4: Hell hath no fury like a prima donna/primo uomo scorned. Also, the ingénues are not as innocent as they appear to be, they bite, hard.
-
Tip 5: Avoid pissing off the director if you happen to value your life.
This wasn’t happening. His heart rate had jumped up forty beats in the past two minutes alone. They had gone through rehearsal thus far smoothly; no one was jumping anyone-not yet at least. Face aflame forty different shades of red, Ryuutaro jumped back and pushed Chiinen away, backing up against the wall. “I can’t do it! Director-san!”
There was a pregnant pause and tension so thick you could cut it with a butter knife, before a very shrill, inhuman scream of frustration was heard, and less experienced staff dived for the nearest cover, scrambling under tables. This was insane, just like something you would see in the Exorcist.
Although the main cast was generally unfazed by her outburst, since Director-san had worse ones up her sleeve anyways, they couldn’t help but take a step away from Ryuutaro. More sensible ones like Yabu crossed his fingers and prayed that the younger boy would make it out alive. Inoo just laughed.
“Just do the scene! Is it that hard? Do anything, just kiss him, is it that such a difficult concept to grasp?” she exasperated, rubbing her temples, mumbling something about “Yamada, get me water. Now,” and continued, “We’re not leaving until you get this scene right. I will settle for nothing less than a passionate kiss since you’re blindly in love right now.”
Retorting with equal ferocity, Ryuutaro snapped, “I told you! I’m fourteen! I have better things than this!” Making an animalistic sound from the back of his throat, he bared his teeth, stubbornly refusing everything that was currently going through his mind. “You just, ugh! What the hell! Chiinen of all people too!”
As this shouting match commenced and the audience watched with bating breaths, no one noticed Chiinen walking over to Ryuutaro, expression stern and determined.
Tip 6: A little insider, love on the set, it’s not hard to obtain. Just make sure you and your crush have roles as each other’s romantic interest, and then everything’s going to play out like the movies. I’m being completely serious.
“You know what, Ryuutaro? Just shut up and kiss me already,” he growled aggressively, quite the frightening sight paired with the innocent face he had, and grabbed Ryuutaro by the front of his dress, yanking him down for a hard kiss.
The whole clubroom erupted into applause for the successful completion of the scene they had been working on for three hours. Inoo snickered, already having predicted this outcome when the cast list had came out, and turned to the techies of the club, evil grin on his face as they grumbled and forked out 2000 yen each.
And as Shakespeare would say, all’s well that ends well.
“It’s been half an hour! Get a freaking room, you two!”
For now, at least.
A few months later…
“Yamada! Can you get Morimoto and Chiinen to stop making out on the couch every five minutes? We have a freaking play to do!” Director-san called from over her shoulder, reviewing over the script Yabu had just finished writing a moment ago and trying her hardest to ignore the rather loud and distracting noises coming from one corner of the clubroom.
The co-director whipped his head around to face the girl, a grimace on his face before managing rather weakly, “…again? Asuka-chan, this is the eighth time today!” Seeing her nod furiously, he let out a cry of despair. Resisting the innate urge to slam his head into the wall, Ryosuke folded his arms across his chest, slowly inching his way over to the still intertwined couple.
This was going to be a long six weeks.
Tip 7,453: You can’t survive drama club. Asuka-chan will make your life a living hell; join if only you have a death wish. Whoops, I should have told you that before you signed up, ne?
Footnotes: I kind of lol at that Ryo-chan is the only one that calls me Director-san by her name.
Rather rushed, I think, but it was really amusing to write. ♥