It repeats itself and I keep on getting hurt...
Church was nice. I actually think the word which was preached today reached me in certain areas. That is good, isn't it? Reverent Benjamin Yeoh preached about how to live a passionate life, and, yes, hopefully I'll apply everyone of those points in my daily life, lol.
Pastor said that everyone should identify what drains us and what brightens us up. Well, I identified some, I guess? One, hmm, waiting drains me. It seriously drains me. It would be fine if someone said, "1 hour", and when I wait for 1 hour, but that guy didn't turn up until another hour later, I would be drained and kinda furious...=_=. Owh, not to forget, hmm, going out to places looking for something but return home empty-handed. That drains me too. In church, I identified another one. Inactive Christians, or, those who aren't strong. There's this conference which is coming soon. It'll be talking about personality build up, finding your spiritual gift, etc etc. I am very interested, actually. Also because I want to be a better person. And, when I asked my friends today, here are their answers.
"I don't feel like going." Yeah. 1 of them answered exactly like this, and another one answered like this somewhat. It drained me. I think it was either because I am tired of cold Christians or I am sad of the fact that my friends are cold Christians. I don't hope I am judging...but I am not hating them because of it.
So, about the conference thingy, I'll be going, alone, without any friends. Well, since it will most likely be something helpful in making me a better person, of course I would be going. :3
Well, the thing now is...I got hurt again. >.>. I think I get hurt easily...and this time is like usual, it was caused by 'friends'. It happened last time too, by the exact same people...
You know, to know friends better, to get closer to them, and to know their interest, you would usually try to listen to their songs, right? Yeah, and, I am not sure whether I should mention names, but, hmm, I better not. Well, at least it wasn't as bad as last time. Once they hear, "It's a Japanese song." they wouldn't listen to it. And today, they did listen, but, I have a feeling that they are kinda bias. Yeah, I really get the feeling that they are bias.
Now, it makes me feel that I don't want to go to Youth Camp anymore...none of them are close to me now.
Coming back, my bro noticed that I was crying, I think? Well, some tears did fall down. He asked why, and I just answered that if I tell, I would cry, so, he didn't ask anymore. I just...don't know. I need to stop getting hurt about this thing which I've already realised long ago. I also need to realise that, for them to actually at least, be something like me, is impossible. This is also linked up to this post. Expecting them to call me when I might actually be sick, is totally impossible for them. Totally impossible.
Pastor said that everyone should identify what drains us and what brightens us up. Well, I identified some, I guess? One, hmm, waiting drains me. It seriously drains me. It would be fine if someone said, "1 hour", and when I wait for 1 hour, but that guy didn't turn up until another hour later, I would be drained and kinda furious...=_=. Owh, not to forget, hmm, going out to places looking for something but return home empty-handed. That drains me too. In church, I identified another one. Inactive Christians, or, those who aren't strong. There's this conference which is coming soon. It'll be talking about personality build up, finding your spiritual gift, etc etc. I am very interested, actually. Also because I want to be a better person. And, when I asked my friends today, here are their answers.
"I don't feel like going." Yeah. 1 of them answered exactly like this, and another one answered like this somewhat. It drained me. I think it was either because I am tired of cold Christians or I am sad of the fact that my friends are cold Christians. I don't hope I am judging...but I am not hating them because of it.
So, about the conference thingy, I'll be going, alone, without any friends. Well, since it will most likely be something helpful in making me a better person, of course I would be going. :3
Well, the thing now is...I got hurt again. >.>. I think I get hurt easily...and this time is like usual, it was caused by 'friends'. It happened last time too, by the exact same people...
You know, to know friends better, to get closer to them, and to know their interest, you would usually try to listen to their songs, right? Yeah, and, I am not sure whether I should mention names, but, hmm, I better not. Well, at least it wasn't as bad as last time. Once they hear, "It's a Japanese song." they wouldn't listen to it. And today, they did listen, but, I have a feeling that they are kinda bias. Yeah, I really get the feeling that they are bias.
Now, it makes me feel that I don't want to go to Youth Camp anymore...none of them are close to me now.
Coming back, my bro noticed that I was crying, I think? Well, some tears did fall down. He asked why, and I just answered that if I tell, I would cry, so, he didn't ask anymore. I just...don't know. I need to stop getting hurt about this thing which I've already realised long ago. I also need to realise that, for them to actually at least, be something like me, is impossible. This is also linked up to this post. Expecting them to call me when I might actually be sick, is totally impossible for them. Totally impossible.