Comparison.
So I was just having a toilet bowl moment a while ago...
If anything, growing up in the modern society has taught me that I need to be 'good enough'. And as if that isn't bad enough (ha!), it has taught me that in order to succeed in life, I need to be outstanding and better than others.
As a result, I am constantly finding myself using people around me as benchmarks for myself.
If I have a couple of close friends while others seem to be friends with half the country, I must be unlikable.
If I can sing but others can sing + dance + draw + cook + tell jokes + play sports well, I am a good for nothing.
If I scored 98% on a test where others are scoring full marks, I am not smart enough.
If I am not fat (medically speaking) but everyone else me is a size 6, then I must be obnoxious.
If I have a decent roof over my head and sufficient clothes, food and drinks to survive while others are flaunting their Chanel/Gucci/Coach bags, expensive watches and sports cars, my life is pathetic.
But why? What good does it do for us to compare ourselves to others based on such shallow criterias just so that feel like a complete piece of junk or feel good about ourselves by judging others as being "lesser"?
Perhaps we've been doing this all wrong.
Should I be proud for being skinner/fitter/prettier/smarter/funnier/taller/richer/popular/better/more talented than someone? No. That doesn't make me feel good. Not for long at least, because there'll always be someone better.
What I should be proud of is being more comfortable with who I am, how I look, the things I am good at, the things I fail miserably at, the titles/positions I hold (or don't hold), and being more grateful and thankful for what I have been given as a person. Because a person who is completely grateful and thankful will not see a need for comparison, and no one can make them feel any less about themselves or their lives because they simply don't care.
"Oh, you're telling me that I am not pretty enough? Perhaps. But I am happy."
Fullstop. End of story. No one can say anything to that, can they?
Nothing beats being happy and content.
(Now to actually practice what I preach...)
If anything, growing up in the modern society has taught me that I need to be 'good enough'. And as if that isn't bad enough (ha!), it has taught me that in order to succeed in life, I need to be outstanding and better than others.
As a result, I am constantly finding myself using people around me as benchmarks for myself.
If I have a couple of close friends while others seem to be friends with half the country, I must be unlikable.
If I can sing but others can sing + dance + draw + cook + tell jokes + play sports well, I am a good for nothing.
If I scored 98% on a test where others are scoring full marks, I am not smart enough.
If I am not fat (medically speaking) but everyone else me is a size 6, then I must be obnoxious.
If I have a decent roof over my head and sufficient clothes, food and drinks to survive while others are flaunting their Chanel/Gucci/Coach bags, expensive watches and sports cars, my life is pathetic.
But why? What good does it do for us to compare ourselves to others based on such shallow criterias just so that feel like a complete piece of junk or feel good about ourselves by judging others as being "lesser"?
Perhaps we've been doing this all wrong.
Should I be proud for being skinner/fitter/prettier/smarter/funnier/taller/richer/popular/better/more talented than someone? No. That doesn't make me feel good. Not for long at least, because there'll always be someone better.
What I should be proud of is being more comfortable with who I am, how I look, the things I am good at, the things I fail miserably at, the titles/positions I hold (or don't hold), and being more grateful and thankful for what I have been given as a person. Because a person who is completely grateful and thankful will not see a need for comparison, and no one can make them feel any less about themselves or their lives because they simply don't care.
"Oh, you're telling me that I am not pretty enough? Perhaps. But I am happy."
Fullstop. End of story. No one can say anything to that, can they?
Nothing beats being happy and content.
(Now to actually practice what I preach...)