i have
a million pounds of math homework to do. I'm behind because I didn't go to class thursday because i was so upset. but i was even behind with my work for thursday. i can't understand anything we're learning and math has always been my weakest scholastic link. i have a quiz to do and another one monday. besides that i have tons of other work. the math is just the most frusterating, and will take me all of the night, and thats only if i can understand it to do it.
i'm just so frusterated. and i dont even want to do the work. i dont want to do it, i dont want to go to class or have responsibilities right now. i want to curl up in bed and sleep for a month. i dont feel like talking to anyone. i dont feel like going anywhere. i really hate the fact that i have to get up monday morning and try to understand even more math, and deal with my fucking cunty professors, and talk to more people.
i dont want to have to pretend i'm not miserable, i don't want to have to tell anyone what's wrong, i don't want to have to lie to my friends in class about what's wrong.
if someone could just come do my math work, and then plant all the ability of doing math in my head, then i could feel a little relieved.
i can go pick up duff at the train, i can go out for dessert with sam and tim, i can stop to visit my mom at work.
but the second i get back in my car or my room again, alone, everything falls back into this weird empty feeling. i don't know what to do with myself, and i don't even want to do a damn thing. not get dressed, not read, not even clean up after myself. and even though i'm allright when i'm occupied, i can't wait to be alone again, i can't wait to be back in bed again, just laying there.
okay. i have to try to start this math work.
i'm just so frusterated. and i dont even want to do the work. i dont want to do it, i dont want to go to class or have responsibilities right now. i want to curl up in bed and sleep for a month. i dont feel like talking to anyone. i dont feel like going anywhere. i really hate the fact that i have to get up monday morning and try to understand even more math, and deal with my fucking cunty professors, and talk to more people.
i dont want to have to pretend i'm not miserable, i don't want to have to tell anyone what's wrong, i don't want to have to lie to my friends in class about what's wrong.
if someone could just come do my math work, and then plant all the ability of doing math in my head, then i could feel a little relieved.
i can go pick up duff at the train, i can go out for dessert with sam and tim, i can stop to visit my mom at work.
but the second i get back in my car or my room again, alone, everything falls back into this weird empty feeling. i don't know what to do with myself, and i don't even want to do a damn thing. not get dressed, not read, not even clean up after myself. and even though i'm allright when i'm occupied, i can't wait to be alone again, i can't wait to be back in bed again, just laying there.
okay. i have to try to start this math work.