Indifference
I've realized I have a problem... though I'm not sure it's much of a problem, I'm not sure if it good or bad? I've thought about it quite often lately though.
I'm incredibly indefferent about things sometimes.... most of the time. I'm hardly ever completely sure what I think about something, how I feel towards it, you know? I'm thinking it might be a way of protection or something? Like, if I don't let it affect me too much... I'll be okay. I think it either started or I first realized it when I was dating Shager cause he sometimes talked about past relationships and what-not so I learned to let it not affect me, let it slide. I let too many things slide.
I have a hard time identifying my emotions, I think. It's like I emotionally disconnect from things sometimes. Pisces are supposed to be overly emotional people, I believe, and I am sometimes, most of the time, often when I don't want to be. But sometimes, when I WANT to feel something, when I WANT to know how I feel towards something... I just don't. I think I shut myself down to protect myself from feeling certain things sometimes. I'm not saying that I never feel that certain way, but sometimes I wish I knew what it was that I feel and I wish I felt STRONGLY about it and so indifferently about it.
Or maybe this is all normal? Maybe this is how I'm supposed to feel. Or maybe it's just that I don't know how to transfer my feelings to words and actions, maybe that's the problem.
Bah, I'm getting kind of redundant now.
Please actually comment on this entry, I want to know what people think of this. I want advice, I want personal opinions of how fucked up I might be or how normal I am. I want people to THINK about this and ask themselves how it relates to them and so on. The last few posts I've made, some of them I REALLY wanted people to comment, give me advice, let me know what they thought because it was an important topic for me at the time... but hardly anyone comments anymore.
I'm incredibly indefferent about things sometimes.... most of the time. I'm hardly ever completely sure what I think about something, how I feel towards it, you know? I'm thinking it might be a way of protection or something? Like, if I don't let it affect me too much... I'll be okay. I think it either started or I first realized it when I was dating Shager cause he sometimes talked about past relationships and what-not so I learned to let it not affect me, let it slide. I let too many things slide.
I have a hard time identifying my emotions, I think. It's like I emotionally disconnect from things sometimes. Pisces are supposed to be overly emotional people, I believe, and I am sometimes, most of the time, often when I don't want to be. But sometimes, when I WANT to feel something, when I WANT to know how I feel towards something... I just don't. I think I shut myself down to protect myself from feeling certain things sometimes. I'm not saying that I never feel that certain way, but sometimes I wish I knew what it was that I feel and I wish I felt STRONGLY about it and so indifferently about it.
Or maybe this is all normal? Maybe this is how I'm supposed to feel. Or maybe it's just that I don't know how to transfer my feelings to words and actions, maybe that's the problem.
Bah, I'm getting kind of redundant now.
Please actually comment on this entry, I want to know what people think of this. I want advice, I want personal opinions of how fucked up I might be or how normal I am. I want people to THINK about this and ask themselves how it relates to them and so on. The last few posts I've made, some of them I REALLY wanted people to comment, give me advice, let me know what they thought because it was an important topic for me at the time... but hardly anyone comments anymore.