this
and even if love
were not what i wanted
love would make love
the thing most desired
i have that feeling
of panic
where i want to
run away
and the only place to run to
is my car
or my bed
if i'm working, then i'm safe. work is not my car and it is not my bed. it is not a place where my phone will ring or where i have to lie or make excuses. i don't have to be amber, just the girl who makes drinks and cleans things. my mistakes dissolve and so do i.
i lied. i'm not over anything. this past week is all catching up.
here's me trying: wednesday is the thermals at the fire-house. friday is going to be painfully depressing, i think. mom and roy are going out and have asked me to pass out candy. because obviously i wouldn't be doing anything else on a friday night (feel sorry for me. do it.) then saturday is charley's birthday. these are the things i do. this is how time makes sense.
were not what i wanted
love would make love
the thing most desired
i have that feeling
of panic
where i want to
run away
and the only place to run to
is my car
or my bed
if i'm working, then i'm safe. work is not my car and it is not my bed. it is not a place where my phone will ring or where i have to lie or make excuses. i don't have to be amber, just the girl who makes drinks and cleans things. my mistakes dissolve and so do i.
i lied. i'm not over anything. this past week is all catching up.
here's me trying: wednesday is the thermals at the fire-house. friday is going to be painfully depressing, i think. mom and roy are going out and have asked me to pass out candy. because obviously i wouldn't be doing anything else on a friday night (feel sorry for me. do it.) then saturday is charley's birthday. these are the things i do. this is how time makes sense.