Random Shit in my head!
Today is a day just like any other day but I feel different somehow. Ok just weird. Had a non fight fight with Aric. Mostly cause arguing with his "reason" is futile. He thinks how he thinks and I think how I think and I love how I love and that's not really from a distance ever in my life. Even at Alma half of me was at home. So whatever. Made up with Keke! Sort of. I called her and told her I apologize for the "rumor" I spread and she in turn apoplogized for the hurtful letter that she wrote to me in turn. And we are still barely speaking to eachother and definitely not "close" as we were during the summer and fall but we did speak! I also plan to go see Aunty Charon tomorrow. I miss my Godson. He talked to me on the phone tonight and I was super excited. He then started to push buttons in my ear but when I talked he said hi and what alot. If I stopped calling/ talking to everyone who didn't call me on my birthday this year I'd have no one left to talk to but my sisters. At that rate I couldn't even talk to my Grandma any more I think. I don't think she called me for my B-Day either. I went to a topless bar for the first time today. It was diffferent and mildly exciting. If I was a guy though I wouldn't have even gotten a hard on. Just fascinated that I was actually sitting there in this smoky room with all these guys and a few gay girls watching these chicks shake that ass! It was almost funny. I think my shirt and sweater hid the stomach quite well. Atleast well enough that I looked fat and not pregnant. Maybe not who knows. I just felt weird about being pregnant and going to a bar like that showing is all. And I am showing to the tenth power! All the way, booty doo, showing! It downright sucks ass! Swear I'm tired and I have to go to the doctor in the morning but I really wanted to talk and I don't feel like talking to Aric and I don't know who else to try to talk to at this time of night. So I guess I'll just go lay down and let sleep come to me or something.