MEET THE CURIOUS BOYFRIENDS
I dreamt I was in Life on Mars last night. LIEK WHOA. I was some 70s floozie policewoman who Gene was taking a shine to apparently. He even lent me some money (in pence, lol, I'm sure it was more valuable back then).
In other news, I have apparently been bored. Because look what I've been doing for the best part of my spare time. Yup, you guessed it, more Bobbeh ficosity.
Our Bobbehs have changed so much, and I was musing over the idea of introducing them and all their, er, new characteristics in a different form. Like a reality TV show - MEET THE BOBBEHS.
Except that, OMG
mysticheaven, I think I had a Posh Curious leak yesterday with that skit I wrote, because I started to introduce the Curious Boyfriends and I got carried away.
I'm sorry, it really is like one giant in-joke. Still, here you go.
Oh, and obligatory reference guide which Ehma reminded me I'd made (and my computer thought was crap enough to delete):
MEET THE CURIOUS BOYFRIENDS
Now we join Bobbeh2 with his usual - and indeed unusual - set of friends slumming it in their unnatural habitat. Blondes - a 50s themed diner that appears American, but is actually in King's Cross. And appears to be run by Westlife.
JAMES: Yah, we first came here to meet up with Claudia Schiffer - we mingle with all the stars, you know. Alas, silly floozie seems to think Westlife are much more worth her time, and off she went with them.
BOBBEH2: Terrible turn-up for the books.
CRISPIN: They left us on our own and switched the lights off and everything.
TIM: Needless to say, we've never invited her again.
IOAN. Slag.
JAMES: I don't know why we keep coming here really, the service is atrocious. Bloody popstars. They don't do lobstah, they keep demanding I pay for the damage done to the chairs -
BOBBEH2: You can hardly see it!
JAMES: Yah, you can hardly see it! Not to mention them insisting that Bobbeh keeps vandalising the gumball machine - he can't help it if it comes off the ground that easily. And not only that, they don't even have Bob the Bloody Builder on the jukebox. S'Typical.
IOAN: No Coq either.
PRESENTER BLOKE: How did you all get to know one another?
TIM: I say, terribly forward, isn't he?
IOAN: Some chap called Richard Curtis had the frightfully good idea of pooling us together for charity, darling. I mean, no one else looks as good in a tux, do they? I already knew Bobethony because we once fought on a ship together....no, wait, that was Hornblower. Jolly fun, boyo.
TIM: Psst, Ioan. Your Welsh is seeping through.
IOAN: Bugger.
TIM: Yah, I already knew Bobbeh from Blackadder, that was spiffing fun too. He was a prince, you know. Come down in the world since then though, haven't you? [laughs]
BOBBEH2: No I haven't. Prime Minister, thank you so very much.
TIM: Yes, but - a prince!
CRISPIN: ...Not a princess?
BOBBEH2: No.
JAMES: Crispy, go fetch the ice cream cones, I sense today's grump coming on. [to camera] I 'm afraid Bobbeh2's being terribly tempremental at the moment. He gets in the most ghastly of moods.
BOBBEH2: ....No I don't.
PRESENTER BLOKE: Do you all come here often?
TIM: ....
JAMES: Well, that's just it, he has so many other friends he doesn't have as much time for us anymore.
BOBBEH2: That's hardly true, James.
TIM: No, he's right, it's most curious. There's those Franz boys for a start...
BOBBEH2: Oh, they're Bobbeh1's friends, they're always sla....they're always round our place.
IOAN: You're frightfully pally with Bobbeh Lindsay, though, aren't you?
BOBBEH2: I might be, I don't see how-
JAMES: You don't leave him alone! And then just when we thought we had you back for a while, you go gallivanting off with that new shouty one, Nick Tennant!
BOBBEH2: Oh well, that's just business.
TIM: Of a rather physical nature by the sounds of things. I overheard him the other night, he was saying you've left his neck in a right state. Most curious.
BOBBBEH2: .... Ah.
JAMES: *And* on top of all this, you're still quite obviously seeing that eHollister chap. That ghastly pimpy one with the cakes.
BOBBEH2: And what do you mean by that?
JAMES: I mean you're still quite obviously see....well, because you're not...
CRISPIN: Uh-oh.
BOBBEH2: Not what?
JAMES: Well. You know.
BOBBEH2: No I don't. I'm not what...Are you saying I'm fat?
JAMES: No, I was saying -
BOBBEH2: I know what you were thinking, you were all 'quite obviously'.....you were insinuating that I'm not skinny anymore, so I must-
JAMES: NO, I - Bloody hell, see, this is what he's like these days! Crispy, hand him those cones.
BOBBEH2: [arms folded] I don't want the cones, move them away from me. You said-
JAMES: Oh, for heaven's sake. You look fine. Stop sulking.
TIM: [absently] .... Nick said you were paranoid too.
BOBBEH2: Oh, did he now? Oh! And what else did Nick reveal to you, seeming as you're quite obviously so bloody chummy with Nick all of a sudden, probably a member of his stupid little bloody Hedgehog club.
TIM: I'm not, I just overheard him, that's all. Hard not to, really.
BOBBEH2: Where's your hedgehog tie, then, come on, let's see it. Get it out.
TIM: Gerroff me, I haven't got a bloody tie - OW! What the buggery are you doing? James, Ioan, hold him back, he's gone stark raving mad again.
CRISPIN: ....Bobbeh, you're scaring me....
IOAN: Bobbeh, You're scaring Crispy! STOP IT.
BOBBEH2: [sighs and sits back] I don't know why you all have to keep everything from me.
JAMES: Because as soon as you get wind of something, you get carried away. Gosh, he never used to be this unstable.
TIM: Remember that time you suggested he wasn't a natural blonde...? And he rammed that gumball machine-
IOAN: Not in front of Crispy.
JAMES: Good lord, I'm surprised we didn't get barred after what he did to the -
BOBBEH2: I'm still here.
IOAN: I blame that Lindsay chap.
JAMES: It's those Ferdinands, they're just as corrupted.
BOBBEH2: Hello, I'm Robert, are you *talking* to me, I'M SAT RIGHT HERE.
CRISPIN: Please don't blame Bob Hardy, he's my friend.
BOBBEH2: Yes, shut up for heaven's sake.
JAMES: You started it, Bobbeh.
BOBBEH2: Oh, yes, of course I did. Bobbeh2 always starts it. Fat, paranoid, unstable, corrupted, dim, apparently deaf Bobbeh. Not even a natural blonde.
TIM: Oh give over.
JAMES: He's right about the paranoia, you've got to hand him that.
BOBBEH2: You all hate me.
CRISPIN: I don't, Bobbeh2.
TIM: See, you *win* at paranoia.
BOBBEH2: ....Really?
TIM: Yah, really. You...what do they say? PWN? You PWN paranoia. In the kingdom of paranoia, you are the gorgeous clever King.
BOBBEH2: Gosh. Crispy?
CRISPIN: What is it? May I come out from under the table now?
BOBBEH2: Bring on the cones!
In other news, I have apparently been bored. Because look what I've been doing for the best part of my spare time. Yup, you guessed it, more Bobbeh ficosity.
Our Bobbehs have changed so much, and I was musing over the idea of introducing them and all their, er, new characteristics in a different form. Like a reality TV show - MEET THE BOBBEHS.
Except that, OMG
mysticheaven, I think I had a Posh Curious leak yesterday with that skit I wrote, because I started to introduce the Curious Boyfriends and I got carried away.
I'm sorry, it really is like one giant in-joke. Still, here you go.
Oh, and obligatory reference guide which Ehma reminded me I'd made (and my computer thought was crap enough to delete):
MEET THE CURIOUS BOYFRIENDS
Now we join Bobbeh2 with his usual - and indeed unusual - set of friends slumming it in their unnatural habitat. Blondes - a 50s themed diner that appears American, but is actually in King's Cross. And appears to be run by Westlife.
JAMES: Yah, we first came here to meet up with Claudia Schiffer - we mingle with all the stars, you know. Alas, silly floozie seems to think Westlife are much more worth her time, and off she went with them.
BOBBEH2: Terrible turn-up for the books.
CRISPIN: They left us on our own and switched the lights off and everything.
TIM: Needless to say, we've never invited her again.
IOAN. Slag.
JAMES: I don't know why we keep coming here really, the service is atrocious. Bloody popstars. They don't do lobstah, they keep demanding I pay for the damage done to the chairs -
BOBBEH2: You can hardly see it!
JAMES: Yah, you can hardly see it! Not to mention them insisting that Bobbeh keeps vandalising the gumball machine - he can't help it if it comes off the ground that easily. And not only that, they don't even have Bob the Bloody Builder on the jukebox. S'Typical.
IOAN: No Coq either.
PRESENTER BLOKE: How did you all get to know one another?
TIM: I say, terribly forward, isn't he?
IOAN: Some chap called Richard Curtis had the frightfully good idea of pooling us together for charity, darling. I mean, no one else looks as good in a tux, do they? I already knew Bobethony because we once fought on a ship together....no, wait, that was Hornblower. Jolly fun, boyo.
TIM: Psst, Ioan. Your Welsh is seeping through.
IOAN: Bugger.
TIM: Yah, I already knew Bobbeh from Blackadder, that was spiffing fun too. He was a prince, you know. Come down in the world since then though, haven't you? [laughs]
BOBBEH2: No I haven't. Prime Minister, thank you so very much.
TIM: Yes, but - a prince!
CRISPIN: ...Not a princess?
BOBBEH2: No.
JAMES: Crispy, go fetch the ice cream cones, I sense today's grump coming on. [to camera] I 'm afraid Bobbeh2's being terribly tempremental at the moment. He gets in the most ghastly of moods.
BOBBEH2: ....No I don't.
PRESENTER BLOKE: Do you all come here often?
TIM: ....
JAMES: Well, that's just it, he has so many other friends he doesn't have as much time for us anymore.
BOBBEH2: That's hardly true, James.
TIM: No, he's right, it's most curious. There's those Franz boys for a start...
BOBBEH2: Oh, they're Bobbeh1's friends, they're always sla....they're always round our place.
IOAN: You're frightfully pally with Bobbeh Lindsay, though, aren't you?
BOBBEH2: I might be, I don't see how-
JAMES: You don't leave him alone! And then just when we thought we had you back for a while, you go gallivanting off with that new shouty one, Nick Tennant!
BOBBEH2: Oh well, that's just business.
TIM: Of a rather physical nature by the sounds of things. I overheard him the other night, he was saying you've left his neck in a right state. Most curious.
BOBBBEH2: .... Ah.
JAMES: *And* on top of all this, you're still quite obviously seeing that eHollister chap. That ghastly pimpy one with the cakes.
BOBBEH2: And what do you mean by that?
JAMES: I mean you're still quite obviously see....well, because you're not...
CRISPIN: Uh-oh.
BOBBEH2: Not what?
JAMES: Well. You know.
BOBBEH2: No I don't. I'm not what...Are you saying I'm fat?
JAMES: No, I was saying -
BOBBEH2: I know what you were thinking, you were all 'quite obviously'.....you were insinuating that I'm not skinny anymore, so I must-
JAMES: NO, I - Bloody hell, see, this is what he's like these days! Crispy, hand him those cones.
BOBBEH2: [arms folded] I don't want the cones, move them away from me. You said-
JAMES: Oh, for heaven's sake. You look fine. Stop sulking.
TIM: [absently] .... Nick said you were paranoid too.
BOBBEH2: Oh, did he now? Oh! And what else did Nick reveal to you, seeming as you're quite obviously so bloody chummy with Nick all of a sudden, probably a member of his stupid little bloody Hedgehog club.
TIM: I'm not, I just overheard him, that's all. Hard not to, really.
BOBBEH2: Where's your hedgehog tie, then, come on, let's see it. Get it out.
TIM: Gerroff me, I haven't got a bloody tie - OW! What the buggery are you doing? James, Ioan, hold him back, he's gone stark raving mad again.
CRISPIN: ....Bobbeh, you're scaring me....
IOAN: Bobbeh, You're scaring Crispy! STOP IT.
BOBBEH2: [sighs and sits back] I don't know why you all have to keep everything from me.
JAMES: Because as soon as you get wind of something, you get carried away. Gosh, he never used to be this unstable.
TIM: Remember that time you suggested he wasn't a natural blonde...? And he rammed that gumball machine-
IOAN: Not in front of Crispy.
JAMES: Good lord, I'm surprised we didn't get barred after what he did to the -
BOBBEH2: I'm still here.
IOAN: I blame that Lindsay chap.
JAMES: It's those Ferdinands, they're just as corrupted.
BOBBEH2: Hello, I'm Robert, are you *talking* to me, I'M SAT RIGHT HERE.
CRISPIN: Please don't blame Bob Hardy, he's my friend.
BOBBEH2: Yes, shut up for heaven's sake.
JAMES: You started it, Bobbeh.
BOBBEH2: Oh, yes, of course I did. Bobbeh2 always starts it. Fat, paranoid, unstable, corrupted, dim, apparently deaf Bobbeh. Not even a natural blonde.
TIM: Oh give over.
JAMES: He's right about the paranoia, you've got to hand him that.
BOBBEH2: You all hate me.
CRISPIN: I don't, Bobbeh2.
TIM: See, you *win* at paranoia.
BOBBEH2: ....Really?
TIM: Yah, really. You...what do they say? PWN? You PWN paranoia. In the kingdom of paranoia, you are the gorgeous clever King.
BOBBEH2: Gosh. Crispy?
CRISPIN: What is it? May I come out from under the table now?
BOBBEH2: Bring on the cones!