AKA You don't Get Rid of Me That Easily.
Uh. HAPPY NEW 2017. Is this thing on?
Hi I *chokes on cobwebs* have been away a while. Again, yeah. But this has been a longer while and I'll acknowledge it. Last year was possibly the Worst Year Ever. I thought that would be 2014, what with losing my Gran, and Mum's 1st round of cancer, but no. 2016 somehow was worse. Any year that starts off with terrible personal news, the death of a dream, the death of Bowie and then my beautiful Alan is not one worth bothering with. THAT WAS JUST THE FIRST FORTNIGHT. And so in the end, I barely did. And I took a big long hiatus from social media in general. It just didn't do it for me anymore. My favourite forums died WHAT DIDN'T. Facebook has become Motherland which is 1) a tad dull - and I *love* kids - and 2) a huge problem for me regarding the aforementioned terrible news (no, I'm still not ready to talk about that one). So I'm having trouble Booking the Face. I've filtered it to buggery now so you can see me popping in, but it's still hard getting used to using it again. I've lost the point of Twitter somehow, also. I'm that used to not really saying anything ( I'm talking both online and IRL. The entire world sent me to Coventry at some unknown point last year, including my own mother. I shrugged and holed myself up so no one felt obliged to remember I exist) that I've no idea what to say. Who cares, right? I've not got anything to add to anything, really. And we've already covered why this place is tumbleweedy. The only place that hasn't remotely deserved my abandonment is Tumblr, I guess (ironically that's more due to the fact that a certain someone made it a bit obvious he'd been sniffing around there and I suddenly got all self conscious about what I posted. Which is silly because it's not like I don't want him there. If I told this to my past self she'd look at me like I was crayyyyyyzy. It's a big case of be careful what you wish for OH WHICH MYSTERIOUS LOVELY PERSON AM I REFERING TO). I made some lovely friends there who message me and respond and everything and I just sodded off from them, which is Just Not Cricket.
Anyway. Jeez Louise, that's not the opening paragraph I had in mind when I started this. That was a big pile up of negativity, I do apologise. Just wanted to cover THE GAP and look what happened. So TL:DR my beloveds dying, my ongoing health issues and trying my hand at being a recluse. I'm way more chipper than this bloody entry is. I made it through 2017, and you did too yay! There comes a point, actually, where if you expect the worst you can just roll your sleeves up and deal with the Worst in all its worsty glory. Apart from October, which was a terrible mental glitch, I have been ticking on. So let's skim over the negative stuff now. The rest of the time I've been Working On All the Things. Finding work, making money, learning shizzle. The three part novel is still going on. I had a much better plot idea happen so it was almost starting again, and that's why it's taking forever, but it's still happening. Futhermore, I've been making music. This isn't the casual hobby everyone seems to think it is - it's Srs Bsnss for me. I was waiting for a band to come along again but they never did so now I'm doing it all myself. I've essentially composed an entire album at this point and, undercooked lyrics aside, I'm pretty much ready to record and get it out there. We're having the house renovated (EVERYTHING IS COVERED IN DUST) and part of the extension will be a music studio - srsly - but alas it will be a while yet which is delaying me. If I'm really desperate there's a studio in Rochdale I'll consider or maybe I'll just publish my twatting abouts on Garageband but my perfectionism is sort of dictating that it's as polished as possible before I put it out in front of People I Actually Know. I'm nervous, guys. I'm not especially talented but I bloody love the whole music process and it's something I need to do in life while I've still got the time.
So, yeah. If I want to put my wiffle out to the world, I've got to make myself known again and put me head above the parapet. It's been good to leave the internet behind for a while but disappearing completely isn't the way forward, is it? I still don't know how I feel about this place and it's entirely possible I'll start a more official (and FUN. Remember that thing? I can still do it, it's not all mope) blog elsewhere but I want to keep LJ for the more personal stuff. A wonky kind of loyalty, I guess, despite the fact that so many things have keeled over here on LJ. First things first, I'll have to get used to that whole communication thing*. If any of this rushed garbled and surprisingly negative entry made any sense, I salute you. Sometimes I see stuff I've written here years ago and wince (ah, the folly of youth), but this time I winced while actually writing the entry so that saved time.
* I I I I ME ME ME ME ME. Genuinely not comfortable talking about myself so much anymore. Is it excessive? she asked neurotically. It feels excessive. Obviously that was hyperbole when I said no one was talking to me, but the problem is that those (IRL) who are a lot are a bit.... how should I discreetly put this? *cough*Narcissistic*cough* and I genuinely worry it's rubbing off on me (EWWWW, stop tat at once), at least from a circumstantial point of view. I don't have chance to talk so when I do, like now, it's ME MEM EM EM EM EM EMMEMEMMEMEMEMEMEM ME. I don't know where I'm going with this footnote but I wanted to give you an update and an update is certainly what you're getting, warts and all. I apologise for the warty update.
Hi I *chokes on cobwebs* have been away a while. Again, yeah. But this has been a longer while and I'll acknowledge it. Last year was possibly the Worst Year Ever. I thought that would be 2014, what with losing my Gran, and Mum's 1st round of cancer, but no. 2016 somehow was worse. Any year that starts off with terrible personal news, the death of a dream, the death of Bowie and then my beautiful Alan is not one worth bothering with. THAT WAS JUST THE FIRST FORTNIGHT. And so in the end, I barely did. And I took a big long hiatus from social media in general. It just didn't do it for me anymore. My favourite forums died WHAT DIDN'T. Facebook has become Motherland which is 1) a tad dull - and I *love* kids - and 2) a huge problem for me regarding the aforementioned terrible news (no, I'm still not ready to talk about that one). So I'm having trouble Booking the Face. I've filtered it to buggery now so you can see me popping in, but it's still hard getting used to using it again. I've lost the point of Twitter somehow, also. I'm that used to not really saying anything ( I'm talking both online and IRL. The entire world sent me to Coventry at some unknown point last year, including my own mother. I shrugged and holed myself up so no one felt obliged to remember I exist) that I've no idea what to say. Who cares, right? I've not got anything to add to anything, really. And we've already covered why this place is tumbleweedy. The only place that hasn't remotely deserved my abandonment is Tumblr, I guess (ironically that's more due to the fact that a certain someone made it a bit obvious he'd been sniffing around there and I suddenly got all self conscious about what I posted. Which is silly because it's not like I don't want him there. If I told this to my past self she'd look at me like I was crayyyyyyzy. It's a big case of be careful what you wish for OH WHICH MYSTERIOUS LOVELY PERSON AM I REFERING TO). I made some lovely friends there who message me and respond and everything and I just sodded off from them, which is Just Not Cricket.
Anyway. Jeez Louise, that's not the opening paragraph I had in mind when I started this. That was a big pile up of negativity, I do apologise. Just wanted to cover THE GAP and look what happened. So TL:DR my beloveds dying, my ongoing health issues and trying my hand at being a recluse. I'm way more chipper than this bloody entry is. I made it through 2017, and you did too yay! There comes a point, actually, where if you expect the worst you can just roll your sleeves up and deal with the Worst in all its worsty glory. Apart from October, which was a terrible mental glitch, I have been ticking on. So let's skim over the negative stuff now. The rest of the time I've been Working On All the Things. Finding work, making money, learning shizzle. The three part novel is still going on. I had a much better plot idea happen so it was almost starting again, and that's why it's taking forever, but it's still happening. Futhermore, I've been making music. This isn't the casual hobby everyone seems to think it is - it's Srs Bsnss for me. I was waiting for a band to come along again but they never did so now I'm doing it all myself. I've essentially composed an entire album at this point and, undercooked lyrics aside, I'm pretty much ready to record and get it out there. We're having the house renovated (EVERYTHING IS COVERED IN DUST) and part of the extension will be a music studio - srsly - but alas it will be a while yet which is delaying me. If I'm really desperate there's a studio in Rochdale I'll consider or maybe I'll just publish my twatting abouts on Garageband but my perfectionism is sort of dictating that it's as polished as possible before I put it out in front of People I Actually Know. I'm nervous, guys. I'm not especially talented but I bloody love the whole music process and it's something I need to do in life while I've still got the time.
So, yeah. If I want to put my wiffle out to the world, I've got to make myself known again and put me head above the parapet. It's been good to leave the internet behind for a while but disappearing completely isn't the way forward, is it? I still don't know how I feel about this place and it's entirely possible I'll start a more official (and FUN. Remember that thing? I can still do it, it's not all mope) blog elsewhere but I want to keep LJ for the more personal stuff. A wonky kind of loyalty, I guess, despite the fact that so many things have keeled over here on LJ. First things first, I'll have to get used to that whole communication thing*. If any of this rushed garbled and surprisingly negative entry made any sense, I salute you. Sometimes I see stuff I've written here years ago and wince (ah, the folly of youth), but this time I winced while actually writing the entry so that saved time.
* I I I I ME ME ME ME ME. Genuinely not comfortable talking about myself so much anymore. Is it excessive? she asked neurotically. It feels excessive. Obviously that was hyperbole when I said no one was talking to me, but the problem is that those (IRL) who are a lot are a bit.... how should I discreetly put this? *cough*Narcissistic*cough* and I genuinely worry it's rubbing off on me (EWWWW, stop tat at once), at least from a circumstantial point of view. I don't have chance to talk so when I do, like now, it's ME MEM EM EM EM EM EMMEMEMMEMEMEMEMEM ME. I don't know where I'm going with this footnote but I wanted to give you an update and an update is certainly what you're getting, warts and all. I apologise for the warty update.