PREDICTABLY, I AM A FISH
So....crazy 40...yeah! *does crazy 40 dance*
I got crazy 40-ed on Mindsay. Visitors and everyfink. And it feels very nice.
What's that about updates? Don't look at me like that, I've just done an exam. Darn hard, it was. And was the easiest out of the two I've got this fortnight, bah. Oh well.
For the amusement of Red Dwarf fans everywhere, and for the bewilderment of everyone else, I present an extract from:
The Arnold J Rimmer Guide to Revision
Particularly useful for BScs, SScs, and Astronavigation
[Technique One]
1) Copy the entire contents of your textbook onto your body. A couple of blanks here and there is alright. They're bound to ask the right thigh, which is 10 per cent. They must ask the left thigh, which is 20 per cent. They've *got* to ask one of the forearms. Which means you've passed already! Anything on the left shin's a bonus! [FIG. 1-2]
1.
2.
2)Make sure you don't understand what you've written:
"CUTIE: Current under tension is ... what's this? Current under tension is equal? Current under tension is expandable? Current under tension is expensive? What does this mean?"
3) Regardless, confidently stroll into the exam. Pick up the paper. You're confused by that one question already. Never mind, you have a trick up your sleeve. Literally. [FIG. 3]
3.
4) Move sleeve to reveal smeared ink. Panic. [FIG. 4-5]
4.
5.
5) Last attempt - slam hand down in vain hope some writing will appear in your perfect palm print. Sign it. [FIG. 6-7] 6.
7.
6) Salute the invigilator. [FIG. 8-9]
8.
9.
7) *faint* [FIG. 10-11]
10.
11.
[Technique 2]
Far more straightforward but still requires effort.
1)Fail to answer the question
2) Write 'I AM A FISH' four hundred times. Bear in mind that this may be a discourse that is simply too *radical*, too *unconventional*, too *mould-breaking* for the examiners to accept.
3) *funny dance*
4) *faint*
Remember, you only failed by the narrowest of narrow margins.
I got crazy 40-ed on Mindsay. Visitors and everyfink. And it feels very nice.
What's that about updates? Don't look at me like that, I've just done an exam. Darn hard, it was. And was the easiest out of the two I've got this fortnight, bah. Oh well.
For the amusement of Red Dwarf fans everywhere, and for the bewilderment of everyone else, I present an extract from:
The Arnold J Rimmer Guide to Revision
Particularly useful for BScs, SScs, and Astronavigation
[Technique One]
1) Copy the entire contents of your textbook onto your body. A couple of blanks here and there is alright. They're bound to ask the right thigh, which is 10 per cent. They must ask the left thigh, which is 20 per cent. They've *got* to ask one of the forearms. Which means you've passed already! Anything on the left shin's a bonus! [FIG. 1-2]
1.
2.
2)Make sure you don't understand what you've written:
"CUTIE: Current under tension is ... what's this? Current under tension is equal? Current under tension is expandable? Current under tension is expensive? What does this mean?"
3) Regardless, confidently stroll into the exam. Pick up the paper. You're confused by that one question already. Never mind, you have a trick up your sleeve. Literally. [FIG. 3]
3.
4) Move sleeve to reveal smeared ink. Panic. [FIG. 4-5]
4.
5.
5) Last attempt - slam hand down in vain hope some writing will appear in your perfect palm print. Sign it. [FIG. 6-7] 6.
7.
6) Salute the invigilator. [FIG. 8-9]
8.
9.
7) *faint* [FIG. 10-11]
10.
11.
[Technique 2]
Far more straightforward but still requires effort.
1)Fail to answer the question
2) Write 'I AM A FISH' four hundred times. Bear in mind that this may be a discourse that is simply too *radical*, too *unconventional*, too *mould-breaking* for the examiners to accept.
3) *funny dance*
4) *faint*
Remember, you only failed by the narrowest of narrow margins.