[один]

[kol_shevik]

Ah.

Привет, Mayfield.

Russia would like for you to be knowing that years have not been kind to you, comrade. Your stench of rotting Capitalist Decadence is as sickening as always. You will be doing us both a good favor now and returning Russia to proper bed with proper underwear on, Да?

Да.

[ dial

tone. ]

[ oh wait--]

And be returning Russia's

Comments

[seniorfilia]

They took your underwear?

[kol_shevik]

Russia has looked and underwear is not being same ones that Russia has gone to bed in.

[seniorfilia]

It's all the same, non? All the clothes here are ugly and uncomfortable.

[kol_shevik]

Russia's clothes are the most comfortable, so would very much like them back.

[seniorfilia]

Ah, well, maybe you'll find them again, monsieur.

[kol_shevik]

[Russia giggles and sounds utterly and completely sane.]

Has been a long time since anyone is calling Russia a monsieur~!

[seniorfilia]

Oh! Désolé! Madame?

[kol_shevik]

[Russia is one husky lady.]

нет, нет-- Russia is a monsieur! [And is also mangling that word something awful.] But no one has spoken little France's language in Russia's house in a long time.

[seniorfilia]

Really? Ah, c'est terrible! Everyone should speak mon langue as often as they can!

[kol_shevik]

Ah-ha! How silly, little comrade! Everyone will speak Russian when they have all become one with me.

[seniorfilia]

Russian? I haven't heard of that before.

[kol_shevik]

[what.

There is only a very offended noise.]

[seniorfilia]

Russian, Russ... You can't mean little Kiev, oui? You said your name was Russia.

[kol_shevik]

...Little France must have hit little head very hard.

[seniorfilia]

Anne was nice... But she passed away two years ago, did you hear? Very sad.

[kol_shevik]

Do not be making Russia feel old.

Russia is very young and in prime of life.