Being a Sentinel, Part III - Empathy / Aura-sight.
Long story short, a young adult author emailed me after hearing about my abilities through a priest friend of my mother's. World's a small place, don't we all know it. She had some questions because her main character has the same ability that I do, and was hoping to glean knowledge from me to make her main character more well-rounded.
It's sort of strange to talk about to someone in the Christian faith, as I don't believe my abilities are from any form of the Christian-Judao god.
However, she asked, and her questions have enabled me to answer some of your questions better.
Shannon,
Hi there. I'm honored to be able to work with you regarding your story. I'm working on a novel aimed at young adults as well, so it's nice to meet someone else who's got that audience in mind.
So, on to your questions. I was pretty surprised to hear that you'd come up with Alexa and her abilities. I've actually never met anyone else with my 'gifts' as you say. I have some differing ideas on the Christian faith than most people do. If I use any terms that are foreign, point them out and I'll explain what they mean. I'll try to answer your questions the best I can. Don't worry about asking anything too personal. I tend to be pretty open about everything.
1.How did you first discover this gift? Did it come as a surprise to you? In my book, the main character, Alexa, is completely stunned, doesn't know what's happening, and thinks maybe it's just vision problems. Did you pray for this gift? Was it easy to accept?
I didn't really discover it. It's something that's always been an un-ignorable part of me. I've been aware of it since I was about two or three. The coloursight also comes part and parcel with a high degree of empathic knowledge. I didn't think I was having vision problems, it's more like a sense. I did think I was losing my mind for a long time. I had some incredibly random mood swings all the way through teen-hood and they were only around certain people.
Mostly it came in “knowing” things about people that a two or three year old shouldn't know. Knowing that my Sunday school teacher had anger issues, or that the other children in my class had a father who was angry and wasn't kind to them. That sort of thing. It made life pretty awkward, and my mom had to take me out of Sunday School. I was home-schooled, so I didn't have good interaction skills with other children at first [as I got older, that got much better], but I didn't have the 'filter' either. The filter is a joke my mom and I have about me being unfortunately plainspoken - saying things that are honest but are socially awkward or embarrassing for another person at the wrong time. I
have a knack for it, mostly because for a long time, the colour-sight and the empathy were so intrinsically a part of me that I figured everyone else saw the things that I saw. It took me a long time through childhood and adolescence to learn to keep my mouth shut.
I know when people are lying. I know when people are broken or hurt. I know when intensely private people are in pain that they don't want others to see, and can generally determine the cause. I can see addiction in people, and I can even sometimes see the source of their addiction [what caused it], or the things that make them lie awake at night. Sometimes this comes from talking to them a little bit - being able to connect the dots, so to say - or just by walking past them. That's hard to deal with on a day to day basis. It's extremely draining.
Boy howdy. Well, I certainly didn't ask for it. Trust me. My life would be lots easier if I didn't know some of the things I do about people. It wasn't surprising. It's something I've always had. The gift really isn't a gift when it comes down to it. It's a burden most of the time. I see things about people other people don't. Someone can regard an individual as completely trustworthy, as completely reliable, and I'll *know* that they're liars, or that they've got some seriously screwed up issues. Problem is, I have no proof, no evidence to explain otherwise, and telling someone, "Well, I saw it in their aura," gets you laughed at. Or it makes people really angry. Either way, it's not a way to make friends and influence enemies.
Believe it or not the colours have an emotion closely linked to them, along with [occasionally] a temperature or a texture, and then sometimes a physical or emotional reaction in my own body.
On top of being “gifted” with the coloursight, I have an intense empathic link with the rest of humanity, though that comes and goes at random. People I'm very close to tend to register more easily to me [which is why I *have* to be careful about who I spend my time
around.]
2. What do the colors look like? Is it a fog, a blush on someone's skin? Do they have different textures and shades, or stay pretty much the same?
This is where things are probably going to get really confusing.
Okay, a little background information on me. I'm an artist. For whatever reason, colours have a certain "feel" to them. The English language is failing me at this point. You know, intrinsically, what silk feels like, or what a brillo-pad feels like, or what your cat's fur feels like. It's sort of like that, but attached to a colour and in my head as a sixth or seventh sense rather than an actual feeling.
There's something called synesthesia - the linking of a neurologically felt colour to anything, be it sound, be it taste, whatever. In my case, it's where the person's emotions are amplified so clearly to me that they become colours. Sometimes they can be repressing emotions, and I'll see them as colours as well.
I can give you an example. I have a friend who has a mild case of Asperger's. He and I have been very, very close for about two years, spent lots of time with each other. He's had a very difficult and unhappy life but has managed to overcome a lot of the challenges it's given him. His colours are celadon green and bright gold. However, when he's unhappy or depressed [and his mannerisms don't change when he's depressed, he's got a flat affect in that regard], he gets a "grey" film over him. Like dust. Everything about him dims down so that his usual radiance is diminished by that sadness. He also has a terrible temper. When he's angry, it's like staring at an eclipse - you only notice your eyes are burning until it manifests into a full-blown migraine headache. His anger manifests in me as a physical response because it's so intense, and because I'm very close to him.
3. Did you know right away what the colors meant? For example, does red always equal anger, etc.?
Actually, no. I didn't know what the colours meant at first, and they're not the same for every person. Anger doesn't register as "red" on most people. It registers rather as a painfully neon-bright variation of their "normal" colours, though people with severe anger problems do have red in their "auras".
However, I can give you some of what I've discovered colours to mean - they roughly coincide with New Age 'aura' colours, though mine tend to be a little different. I'd need to build a chart. I'll do that for you now and attach it to the email.
I'd advise you to read it so anything else I say after that makes sense.
4. Can you control when it happens, or does it kind of ambush you?
Oh god, I wish I could control it. No, it ambushes me at random. Supermarkets, gas station, at church, wherever I am and whatever I'm doing. There's no rhyme or reason to it except that it never comes when I'm not ready for it. I don't typically get overwhelmed by people all clamoring for my attention if that's what you mean. I'll be standing in line at the gas station getting a Red Bull, or walking through the grocery
store and get overwhelmed by someone walking in the door or someone standing next to me. Either by the intensity of their aura or something that is intrinsically "wrong" or "broken" about them.
5.How have you used this gift to help others?
A bunch of different ways. Honestly, I can't go into detail with this because it's all very interpersonal and I'm sworn to secrecy about the nature of other people's beings. Generally, it's because I'm sent someone who needs my specific abilities. I tend to be a pretty empathetic listener, so it's like I've got a target painted on my head that says, "Trust me, I understand you and will listen to your life story."
Generally, it's just lots of listening and lots of being extremely attentive and offering advice and support as needed.
6.Have you ever seen colors on friends or family that surprised you, and you didn't know how to approach them with what you saw? And have you ever seen any color on yourself?
Yes. Being able to see my father's struggle with depression, my brother's struggle with alchohol addiction and some glaring problems / brokenness with some of the leadership in a church parish can be difficult to deal with. People get used, even when they're broken.
Sometimes even because they're broken.
I don't have a specific colour. I'm something that New Agers call a "crystal", which means I embody all colours at once, and can switch to anyone I like at will to better empathize with people. I tend to reflect whoever I'm with at the time - so if I'm keeping company with a red, then I'll automatically shift to be a green or a blue in contrast. If I'm with a purple, I'll be a yellow. It's a conscious shift in personality that I am
entirely in control of because I understand certain people behave in certain ways. I've been accused of being too easily swayed in one direction or another, of being bipolar, of being mercurial, and I suppose those things are all true. However, being able to switch quickly between different colour types allows me to interact with and understand others better.
7. Have you ever been afraid of something you've seen on someone?
Yes. There's an invidivual in the parish my mother attends that terrifies me because of what I see on him - black and red, generally indicative of intense depression, dishonesty, and deeply-rooted anger problems. I do not like him.
There is also a friend of the family who is a terrific liar, who is slippery and false. He cheats on his wife and has likedly abused his daughter. I have warned my parents about him and they have not listened. Sometimes that happens as well, where I see traits in another human being that I *know* are wrong, and no one will listen to my warnings. It used to really bother me. Now I've learned to polarize negative green and go cold.
Hope this helps!
If you have any more questions, feel free to fire them my way. :)
-Jia
Wow, that took awhile. o_o;
It's sort of strange to talk about to someone in the Christian faith, as I don't believe my abilities are from any form of the Christian-Judao god.
However, she asked, and her questions have enabled me to answer some of your questions better.
Shannon,
Hi there. I'm honored to be able to work with you regarding your story. I'm working on a novel aimed at young adults as well, so it's nice to meet someone else who's got that audience in mind.
So, on to your questions. I was pretty surprised to hear that you'd come up with Alexa and her abilities. I've actually never met anyone else with my 'gifts' as you say. I have some differing ideas on the Christian faith than most people do. If I use any terms that are foreign, point them out and I'll explain what they mean. I'll try to answer your questions the best I can. Don't worry about asking anything too personal. I tend to be pretty open about everything.
1.How did you first discover this gift? Did it come as a surprise to you? In my book, the main character, Alexa, is completely stunned, doesn't know what's happening, and thinks maybe it's just vision problems. Did you pray for this gift? Was it easy to accept?
I didn't really discover it. It's something that's always been an un-ignorable part of me. I've been aware of it since I was about two or three. The coloursight also comes part and parcel with a high degree of empathic knowledge. I didn't think I was having vision problems, it's more like a sense. I did think I was losing my mind for a long time. I had some incredibly random mood swings all the way through teen-hood and they were only around certain people.
Mostly it came in “knowing” things about people that a two or three year old shouldn't know. Knowing that my Sunday school teacher had anger issues, or that the other children in my class had a father who was angry and wasn't kind to them. That sort of thing. It made life pretty awkward, and my mom had to take me out of Sunday School. I was home-schooled, so I didn't have good interaction skills with other children at first [as I got older, that got much better], but I didn't have the 'filter' either. The filter is a joke my mom and I have about me being unfortunately plainspoken - saying things that are honest but are socially awkward or embarrassing for another person at the wrong time. I
have a knack for it, mostly because for a long time, the colour-sight and the empathy were so intrinsically a part of me that I figured everyone else saw the things that I saw. It took me a long time through childhood and adolescence to learn to keep my mouth shut.
I know when people are lying. I know when people are broken or hurt. I know when intensely private people are in pain that they don't want others to see, and can generally determine the cause. I can see addiction in people, and I can even sometimes see the source of their addiction [what caused it], or the things that make them lie awake at night. Sometimes this comes from talking to them a little bit - being able to connect the dots, so to say - or just by walking past them. That's hard to deal with on a day to day basis. It's extremely draining.
Boy howdy. Well, I certainly didn't ask for it. Trust me. My life would be lots easier if I didn't know some of the things I do about people. It wasn't surprising. It's something I've always had. The gift really isn't a gift when it comes down to it. It's a burden most of the time. I see things about people other people don't. Someone can regard an individual as completely trustworthy, as completely reliable, and I'll *know* that they're liars, or that they've got some seriously screwed up issues. Problem is, I have no proof, no evidence to explain otherwise, and telling someone, "Well, I saw it in their aura," gets you laughed at. Or it makes people really angry. Either way, it's not a way to make friends and influence enemies.
Believe it or not the colours have an emotion closely linked to them, along with [occasionally] a temperature or a texture, and then sometimes a physical or emotional reaction in my own body.
On top of being “gifted” with the coloursight, I have an intense empathic link with the rest of humanity, though that comes and goes at random. People I'm very close to tend to register more easily to me [which is why I *have* to be careful about who I spend my time
around.]
2. What do the colors look like? Is it a fog, a blush on someone's skin? Do they have different textures and shades, or stay pretty much the same?
This is where things are probably going to get really confusing.
Okay, a little background information on me. I'm an artist. For whatever reason, colours have a certain "feel" to them. The English language is failing me at this point. You know, intrinsically, what silk feels like, or what a brillo-pad feels like, or what your cat's fur feels like. It's sort of like that, but attached to a colour and in my head as a sixth or seventh sense rather than an actual feeling.
There's something called synesthesia - the linking of a neurologically felt colour to anything, be it sound, be it taste, whatever. In my case, it's where the person's emotions are amplified so clearly to me that they become colours. Sometimes they can be repressing emotions, and I'll see them as colours as well.
I can give you an example. I have a friend who has a mild case of Asperger's. He and I have been very, very close for about two years, spent lots of time with each other. He's had a very difficult and unhappy life but has managed to overcome a lot of the challenges it's given him. His colours are celadon green and bright gold. However, when he's unhappy or depressed [and his mannerisms don't change when he's depressed, he's got a flat affect in that regard], he gets a "grey" film over him. Like dust. Everything about him dims down so that his usual radiance is diminished by that sadness. He also has a terrible temper. When he's angry, it's like staring at an eclipse - you only notice your eyes are burning until it manifests into a full-blown migraine headache. His anger manifests in me as a physical response because it's so intense, and because I'm very close to him.
3. Did you know right away what the colors meant? For example, does red always equal anger, etc.?
Actually, no. I didn't know what the colours meant at first, and they're not the same for every person. Anger doesn't register as "red" on most people. It registers rather as a painfully neon-bright variation of their "normal" colours, though people with severe anger problems do have red in their "auras".
However, I can give you some of what I've discovered colours to mean - they roughly coincide with New Age 'aura' colours, though mine tend to be a little different. I'd need to build a chart. I'll do that for you now and attach it to the email.
I'd advise you to read it so anything else I say after that makes sense.
4. Can you control when it happens, or does it kind of ambush you?
Oh god, I wish I could control it. No, it ambushes me at random. Supermarkets, gas station, at church, wherever I am and whatever I'm doing. There's no rhyme or reason to it except that it never comes when I'm not ready for it. I don't typically get overwhelmed by people all clamoring for my attention if that's what you mean. I'll be standing in line at the gas station getting a Red Bull, or walking through the grocery
store and get overwhelmed by someone walking in the door or someone standing next to me. Either by the intensity of their aura or something that is intrinsically "wrong" or "broken" about them.
5.How have you used this gift to help others?
A bunch of different ways. Honestly, I can't go into detail with this because it's all very interpersonal and I'm sworn to secrecy about the nature of other people's beings. Generally, it's because I'm sent someone who needs my specific abilities. I tend to be a pretty empathetic listener, so it's like I've got a target painted on my head that says, "Trust me, I understand you and will listen to your life story."
Generally, it's just lots of listening and lots of being extremely attentive and offering advice and support as needed.
6.Have you ever seen colors on friends or family that surprised you, and you didn't know how to approach them with what you saw? And have you ever seen any color on yourself?
Yes. Being able to see my father's struggle with depression, my brother's struggle with alchohol addiction and some glaring problems / brokenness with some of the leadership in a church parish can be difficult to deal with. People get used, even when they're broken.
Sometimes even because they're broken.
I don't have a specific colour. I'm something that New Agers call a "crystal", which means I embody all colours at once, and can switch to anyone I like at will to better empathize with people. I tend to reflect whoever I'm with at the time - so if I'm keeping company with a red, then I'll automatically shift to be a green or a blue in contrast. If I'm with a purple, I'll be a yellow. It's a conscious shift in personality that I am
entirely in control of because I understand certain people behave in certain ways. I've been accused of being too easily swayed in one direction or another, of being bipolar, of being mercurial, and I suppose those things are all true. However, being able to switch quickly between different colour types allows me to interact with and understand others better.
7. Have you ever been afraid of something you've seen on someone?
Yes. There's an invidivual in the parish my mother attends that terrifies me because of what I see on him - black and red, generally indicative of intense depression, dishonesty, and deeply-rooted anger problems. I do not like him.
There is also a friend of the family who is a terrific liar, who is slippery and false. He cheats on his wife and has likedly abused his daughter. I have warned my parents about him and they have not listened. Sometimes that happens as well, where I see traits in another human being that I *know* are wrong, and no one will listen to my warnings. It used to really bother me. Now I've learned to polarize negative green and go cold.
Hope this helps!
If you have any more questions, feel free to fire them my way. :)
-Jia
Wow, that took awhile. o_o;