[Fanfic] And All That Jazz 19/20
Title: And All That Jazz
Pairings: Alfred (US)/ Arthur (UK)
Characters: America and England with the band
Rating: PG
Warnings: Language and a mad Canadian
Summary: Alfred is approached by the Student Body President, Arthur, for help on his math exam. They hate each other, but maybe opposites can attract with the help of something unexpected.
This chapter: Matt stands up to his brother and Arthur has a very important question.
A/N: First time writing from a Canadian's point of view.This was probably going to be the worst birthday my brother had ever had. I knew it was the worst one I had ever had. Instead of being out with friends and partying to the fact I was almost twenty, I was stuck in the dorm with Alfred as he slept. But Alfred had pushed away all of his friends, claiming that what happened with me and him was between us, so I felt sort of compelled to stay with him when I knew he was going to be upset. The closer it got to his birthday, the worse his mood became. He didn't take kindly to everyone knowing the condition of his birth, although I found it all really uncalled for. I didn't voice my opinion to my brother. How could I? He was my brother and we had always stuck by each other since we were born.
Normally I just went to Arthur and told him how I felt. But the boy was starting to become less interested in Alfred. This was bad; very bad. Because while Arthur was off being a little punk and forgetting about Alfred, my brother was waking up in the middle of the night crying. I actually preferred the crying, it was when he would start masturbating in his sleep that I would quickly wake him up. All embarrassment aside, the situation with my brother was growing worse.
I was sitting at my desk while talking to some friends online when Alfred sat up and started crying again. Another nightmare. As usual, I got up to comfort him. Secretly, I felt very good knowing I was finally able to take care of my big brother; even if we were only half-siblings. We had never treated one another as such, even after we learned what our mother had done. When father left him, I was there to tell him over and over I still loved him.
"Al," I sighed, rubbing his back. "You've got to go and talk to Arthur about this. It's getting out of hand."
He shook his head, wiping away his tears. "He wouldn't let me. Dude, have you seen how he looks lately? He's no longer my Arthur."
"Al, he's not something. He's a human being. One that was hurt just as badly as you were, if not more." I crossed my arms. "I mean… Yeah, him hiding things and such was a bad idea, but was it so great of you to just hide our true relationship and your past with dad?"
"You wouldn't understand," Alfred grumbled.
"You're right… I don't understand." My frustration had just boiled to the breaking point. Yup, worst birthday ever. "And if this is how I'd be when I did understand, then I'd rather remain oblivious!"
"What do you mean?" Alfred asked, looking up at me with bright eyes illuminated in the low light from my laptop.
I stood up, glaring at Alfred. Was he really that oblivious? Well, he's always been. I think he hit his head too many times as a kid and in football, but I always tried to give him the benefit of the doubt seeing as he was my brother. But this time, I just couldn't take it anymore. He was choosing his pride and some ridiculous notion that Arthur hates him over being truly happy and in love and giving love back to someone who greatly deserved it. Why? So he could say he was right? Right about what, though? Was it really so great to say you're alone and you hate your life?
After hearing about both of their problems with the other and knowing they were saying it out of spite and not true hatred, I had reached the end. This should never have gone this far.
"You're acting like some little martyr! You both are!" I flung my hands in the air as I shouted, although my shouting was more like a slightly louder whisper. After hearing mom and dad and Alfred fight so much, I vowed I would never speak above a whisper. Loud noises scared me too much. "You both are so stupid! You two love each other and yet you refuse to tell the other person! You think your pain is worse than his was and he thinks the same, when you two shouldn't compare one another!
"Al, you pushed everyone away, saying it was just us again! Just the brothers! And while that worked when we were young, I don't want it! I want to be me and you to be you! I want you to love Arthur freely and not think everyone is out to get you because, guess what, no one gives that much of a damn about you as much as you think! But Arthur did! He still does! He still keeps tabs on you!"
Alfred's eyes widened, his mouth dropping slightly. I wasn't sure if it was from my temper exploding or my letting out that Arthur was still asking about him. Oops.
But I pressed on before he could interrupt me. "He does it because he cares for you! He wants to protect you, but that's wrong! You two need to stop seeing each other as things and see one another as human beings! You can't keep thinking that Arthur's some evil jerk out to sneak around in the shadows and stab you in the back! Yeah, he might be a punk ass these days, but he's still him in his core.
"And Arthur has to stop seeing you as some baby that he has to protect! If he's worried about you and wants to know what the hell is wrong, then he needs to tell you he's upset by it and you need to tell him what's actually wrong! No more lying! No more 'protecting' each other because all it's done is DRIVE YOU TWO INSANE! And if you don't hurry, you'll REALLY lose Arthur! He's falling out of love with you!"
I stopped when my head felt dizzy. I can't remember the last time I lost my temper. I don't think I ever did, actually. Alfred was staring at me in disbelief. I sat next to him on the bed, sighing, as my outburst sunk in. Alfred needed to hear what I felt almost as much as Arthur did. However, I had tried to say the same things to Arthur a week earlier, but I couldn't stand up to him. Even before he turned punk, I was scared of him. I never knew what he was thinking. Alfred did. He was the only one that could read Arthur.
"Wow," Alfred said. He looked at me. "Is…he really falling out of love with me?"
"Honestly, I don't think he ever will, but he certainly has stopped asking about you less," I replied. "Maybe he's trying to move on. But I just can't see either of you ever getting over this mess until you confront one another."
Alfred's face paled. "I can't talk to him. He won't listen to me. He won't come back."
"Don't assume, Al." I turned to look at him seriously, ignoring that fear in his eyes. "Even if you two don't get back together, this problem right now will affect you forever. Look how much it's already affected two now. I'd rather think 'Arthur the punk' is just a phase rather than a permanent title. Did you know his parents are furious with him and he hasn't been home since he got his tattoo?"
For a moment, the old spark was back in my brother's eyes. "What? No. What happened?"
I shrugged, not fully knowing all of the details. The day Arthur told me, he smoked an entire pack in an hour and grew ill by nightfall. It was terrible and I worried if he'd have to go see a doctor for his stress. That was the night he first confided in me that he still loved my brother. But that was months ago. He had never uttered a single thing of that topic since.
"They didn't approve of his new lifestyle. Arthur's even thinking of dropping out next semester. He doesn't see a point staying here and wasting his time or money."
Alfred looked at the floor with fresh determination. Or was that anger? I couldn't tell.
"No, this is bad," he mumbled. "They already lost one son…but to lose their Arthur…"
"What?" I leaned over. I hadn't heard him very well.
Alfred shook his head. "Nothing. I just… Matt, I know I still love him… He's been the only person I've trusted, aside from you… But how can I fix anything? How can I talk to him?"
I smiled slightly, relieved that Alfred had finally admitted his affections for Arthur. "The last relationship failed because it lacked something. Communication. Just talk to him, Al. The world won't stop and you won't die and he won't hate you."
It was silent between us for a moment. My laptop's screen went into screensaver mode, taking away our only source of light, so I got up to move the mouse. When I turned around, Alfred was smirking up at me.
"When did you get so smart?"
I flushed as I fiddled with my shirt. "Ah, I, uh. Well…you know… I was worried about you two… I mean, I've been on Arthur's side, but it's not like I ever left yours either. I want you to make up with Arthur. Please."
"Well, when could I? We don't have classes together and he avoids me like the plague."
I tapped my chin, trying to remember if there was any way I could sneak out of a lunch date or when I knew I would catch him on his way to band practice. Wait, band. That's right. "His band is putting on a show really soon! We should go!"
For a moment, Alfred thought. I waited, but started to worry how much he was going to second guess himself. Okay, I hated to do this, but I knew once I pulled this next card out there was no way my brother could back down.
I squared my shoulders and tried to look more upset than I really was. "What kind of hero are you? I thought you would love to just charge in there and sweep Arthur off his feet with your proclamation of love!"
Alfred snapped his head up, eyes wide. He jumped up with fire behind his eyes. Got him. "Shut up! I am so a hero! I will totally go in and get Arthur back!"
I laughed when Alfred whapped me in the face with a pillow. I grabbed my own and we started a pillow fight. For the first time in a year, I felt like I had finally gotten my brother back. While I knew nothing had truly changed just yet, there was progress. I wasn't the one to help him. That was up to Arthur. The two had to come to conclusions about one another.
I only hoped that it would be a good one."We should totally crash that gig!" Gilbert exclaimed, pumping a fist into the air.
I had decided to tell the band of Alfred's going to the performance this weekend. At first, I was against it, but I knew that despite both Alfred and Alfred's brush off of the band, the members were all still in agreement that we were together. We just had to get our leaders back. Every Tuesday we would meet and practice, hoping that someday those two idiots would join us again.
Now it seemed we all had the perfect chance.
"I don't want to crash it," Elizaveta started. "But we should definitely be there as moral support for Alfred. I'm sure he must be nervous."
I nodded. "He is, but I know he wants this. He's convinced you guys are on Arthur's side and Arthur thinks the same thing."
"That's, like, so totally stupid!" Felix exclaimed from where he sat on his stool for his drum set. "We could never pick between them! How could they, like, even think that way?"
Roderich looked up from his tuning of his violin. "It doesn't matter now. Everyone needs to hear the truth. But this is their fight. We'll just be moral support, nothing more."
"Man, I hate this," Gilbert whined. "I miss those two."
"Si, I do too," Antonio sighed. "The band hasn't been the same since they left. I'm sure even Francis misses Arthur."
Francis, standing next to me, waved a hand in the air with a sad smile. "Oui, of course I do. There is nothing like a good target to pick on like Arthur. And all the sexual tension in the air from those two made every practice so much fun."
"Then let's make a promise!" Elizaveta said as she came forward. "Promise that we'll get our leaders back together!"
I smiled as everyone agreed. It wouldn't be too much later that Friday would be upon us. And once it was, no one knew what would happen. We could all hope and trust that the boys really did love each other.Friday night couldn't come soon enough. I almost went insane because of all the stress Alfred was under. He paced the room, muttering to himself, and constantly trying to back out. But I wouldn't budge. He was going. Sometimes I could be just as stubborn. It was a trait we shared, one from our mother.
And so it was with a final shove, Alfred and I arrived at the bar where we knew Arthur's band was playing. Everyone was wearing black and looked way more badass than us, making us stick out like sore thumbs. Arthur's band had yet to start and we didn't want to spend more time inside than we had to. It was full of smoke and gave me the creeps. Alfred, always the tougher one, protected me and kept me close to his side, watching all those stares we received from the punkish looking people that went inside.
"Hey, you're not old enough for this place."
Alfred and I turned quickly. For a moment, I panicked as to who had confronted us, but upon seeing the other band members smiling behind a grinning Gilbert I felt a wave of relief. Surprisingly, Alfred moved behind me.
"What're you guys doing here?" he asked nervously.
"We're here for you!" Elizaveta exclaimed cheerfully. She rushed out and took Alfred's hands in hers. She pulled him away from me. "We want to cheer you on."
"Wait, but I thought you guys were all friends with Arthur," Alfred said slowly, obviously confused. He looked from one member to the other. His gaze stopped on Gilbert. "I thought you'd jump at the chance to go out with him."
At this, Gilbert scrunched up his face. "What? Dude, no. I'm straight, true and true. I just like to pick on the little guy. His reactions are hilarious."
"Prove you're straight," Alfred demanded.
Shrugging, Gilbert pointed at Elizaveta. "We used to date back in middle school. That's why I didn't want her in the band. I knew she'd totally dump her pansy ass boyfriend and come back to me."
"What?"
"Drama would ensue and pretty soon even pretty little Felix over there would want me."
"What?"
By this time, Elizaveta and Felix had Gilbert by the collar, shaking him and pushing him back towards the alley. I scooted away from them, grateful he hadn't picked on me. I feared that Alfred might have punched him in the face. However, Alfred hadn't been convinced just yet.
He looked at Antonio. "And what about you? I know you told Arthur something and then you two were the best of friends."
The Spaniard gave a meek smile, blushing slightly. "Si, I did confide in him, but I do not love the boy. I told him that I have a girlfriend in Belgium and I was actually saving up money to see her. That was why I joined the band. Not because I was a hotshot back in Spain. I just didn't want to tell everyone because I wanted to earn it on my own. Gilbert and Arthur were the first to find out. After you left, I told everyone else."
Alfred looked to Francis, desperately hoping to direct his misguided anger at someone. "You?"
Francis turned a slight shade of green, holding his hands up. "Non, that's okay. Arthur is all yours, right up to his bushy 'brows."
Feeling rather foolish, Alfred looked to Roderich. The man shrugged with a smile. "It seems your assumptions of us have proven incorrect."
I had only seen Alfred become humble once before that night. And that was to Arthur. I was amazed he apologized, asking for forgiveness, and promising to never repeat his actions again. Elizaveta and Felix, having released Gilbert from their attack, pounced on my brother, hugging him and accepting his apology. The others only smiled and patted him on the back.
Me? I couldn't be prouder.
"Thanks everyone, "Alfred said after a time, his face red. "But…now I have to get my boyfriend back."
"Even if he says no," Roderich started. "You two can always be friends. I'm sure that much is possible despite your differences. You two will always have jazz."
Alfred nodded, gaining his confidence back. He always worked best when he wasn't alone, no matter how much he tried to make the opposite true. For too long he had been alone, working against the world and hoping to rise to the top. But the world was never that kind nor that compliant. Lone rangers always got shot at the end. It was only those that held out a hand and received help that rode off into the sunset with the woman. Or, in this case, an Englishman.
"YEAH! ARE YOU GUYS READY?"
Everyone jumped at hearing a booming voice over a microphone burst out from the bar. The band! We had almost forgotten, so consumed where we in our lovely reunion. Suddenly, a loud BLANG from a guitar shook our teeth. Inside we could hear girls screaming.
"ONE, TWO, THREE! LET'S GO!"
Gilbert and Antonio distracted the bouncers as Alfred and I sneaked inside. Alfred could possibly get away with being twenty-one, seeing as he was only a year away. I was constantly overlooked so even if the man had stopped us, he would never have batted an eyelash at me slinking in. However Felix and Elizaveta were another matter.
Somehow, we managed to all make it inside. The real problem now was to not be killed by the mosh pit of crazed fans that jumped all around us. I felt my body being shoved back and forth, my ribs attacked by elbows, and I think someone might have felt me up at one point. Now I was scared.
I reached around trying to find someone to help me when a lone hand shot out, grabbing me by my arm. I was pulled forward into Francis' chest where he held me close, backing out of the pit. The others had found refugee against the side wall. Alfred emerged a short time later looking far worse than any of us. He instantly pulled me away from Francis, putting distance between us.
"Holy shit, Arthur can play!" Gilbert shouted over the loud music.
He was pointing at the stage. Because of our sudden encounter with punk fans, we hadn't paid any attention to the music blasting all around us. We all turned our attention and I could distinctly hear Alfred cursing under his breath. I doubted it was because he was in awe like Gilbert was.
Arthur, always the smartly dressed young man, had gelled spiky hair with a ripped black shirt, tight black pants, and chains hanging off of his belt. His earrings and large belt buckle of the Union Jack glistened from the stage lights. He was holding a red bass guitar, watching as his band mates jumped around the stage. I don't think anyone actually heard the songs as we were just stuck there in a trance.
Where had our nice little English boy gone? I had seen Arthur more than anyone else since the couple had broken up, but even I hadn't seen Arthur like this. He looked so aggressive, practically beating the strings on his guitar as he looked out into the crowd. I was thankful we were all pressed up against the wall.
I felt a hand take mine suddenly. I looked down, seeing Alfred clinging to me. He looked so nervous. I honestly couldn't blame him. He only knew how to handle a slightly angry Arthur that spurted out English none of us knew or one that threw books every now and again. Now it was a year later and Arthur had changed. A lot.
"Alfred," I said, leaning close. "What do you feel right now?"
"Terrified," Alfred bluntly replied.
I shook my head. "No. I meant for Arthur. Do you love him?"
"Yes!" Alfred looked me in the eyes and I knew he was telling the truth. He just had to get over that initial fear.
"THEN JUMP!"
In retrospect, maybe pushing my brother out to be eaten alive by the mosh pit was a bad idea, especially since he lost his balance and was instantly swept away into the sea of bodies. I think I heard him call for help, but Francis held onto me for dear life.
I looked from the crowd to the stage, hoping Arthur would see Alfred. But he was moving back and forth with that green haired guitarist. There had been rumors that the two were sleeping together, but whenever I asked Arthur, he would look disgusted by the idea and deny it. Still, there was an obvious connection between them.
The boy bounced off of Arthur and moved to the other side of the stage, coaxing on the girls in front. Arthur looked back out at the crowd. He enjoyed playing, that much was true, but he didn't seem to be nearly into the songs as much as the others. The black haired singer was ranting about "The Man" and the government, but I didn't see that same passion for hating society in Arthur as much as the other three. He just seemed to be there, enjoying the music and not the words.
Then, he seemed to freeze up. His eyes were locked on one particular spot and I knew then he had seen the one person in the bar that wasn't in black and red and oozing of pure delinquency. Well, maybe back in high school Arthur would have thought so. But now that Arthur had joined the big boys and seen what "hooligans" really were, I doubt he thought much of Alfred's disrespectful uniform anymore.
The song ended abruptly, it wasn't very long, and the crowd broke out into applause. From beside me, Gilbert hollered his approval. We looked at him, but he just jumped up and down like the others in the crowd.
"Thank you!" the singer yelled into the microphone. "Yeah and for our next song-"
There was a high pitch squeal over the speakers and suddenly Arthur's voice flooded the bar. He had grabbed the stand from his band mate, taking center stage. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I need to say something."
A few girls shrieked, their hands reaching out towards Arthur. I think some girl shouted for him to marry her. But Arthur didn't pay any of them any attention. He was still focused only on that one spot where a blonde cowlick stood out in the sea of darkness.
"…A year ago today the man I loved hurt me and left me," Arthur started. For a moment, he looked ready to just flee, but something in him compelled him forward. "He took my trust and destroyed it. He's here tonight and I have something I want to say to him."
Arthur pulled his guitar off from him, putting it on his stand. As he moved back towards the synthesizer that stood in the back, the crowd began to murmur as to who exactly this mystery man could be. Arthur took his spot by the instrument, took a deep breath, and pulled the microphone to him.
"This is a cover and isn't what we normally play… But I want you to hear this."
Arthur's lovely voice suddenly silenced everyone. He pressed his fingers onto the keys with effortless beauty as we all knew, but had forgotten. It had been too long since we were captivated by his skills. For some reason, that man really thought he couldn't sing and was embarrassed when we drew attention to it. Whatever notion he had was thrown to the wind as he ignored his old fears of the stage and singing, letting his heart out, sharing it with everyone. Finally.
I never knew perfection 'till I heard you speak and now it kills me just to hear you say the simple things. Now waking up is hard to do. Sleeping's impossible too. Everything's remindin' me of you, but what can I do?
It's not right, not okay, to say the words that you say. Maybe we're better off this way. I'm not fine. I'm in pain! It's harder every day. Maybe we're better off this way. It's better that we break.
By this time, Arthur's band had lightly joined in with a soft drum accompaniment and gentle guitar rift. Arthur kept singing, his eyes tearing up as he pressed on.
Saw you sitting on the lawn. You're fragile and you're cold, but that's all right. The lie these days is getting rough. Knocked you down and beat you up. But it's just a rollercoaster anyways! Yeah!
Arthur suddenly kicked the chair behind him as if to emphasize his statement. My eyes watched as it fell, but then noticed something in the crowd. That cowlick from before was steadily making its way towards the stage. The girls parted, letting Alfred reach almost the very front. By this point, I think everyone knew exactly who had dumped Arthur.
At this point, Arthur was slamming his hands onto the piano. He was climaxing at the song, his words sounding more desperate and wobbly from the tears choking him.
I'm not fine! And I'm in pain! It's harder everyday! …Maybe we're better off this way. It's better that we break, baby.
Arthur stopped instantly, the crowd waiting on their breath. He quickly grabbed the microphone and moved to stand back in center stage. He looked right in my brother's eyes. An unspoken conversation happened in a split second. Whatever was said, it pushed Arthur to call him out.
"So what do you think, Alfred? Do you think it's better this way?"
When Alfred made no movement and said nothing, Arthur dropped the microphone.
And left the stage.Hoshiko2's cents: I wanted to be super evil and just end it here, but I'm not that terrible. The last chapter will be up Saturday. For the record, this takes place on Alfred's 20th birthday. Alfred and Arthur have been separated for a year now.
The song Arthur sings is "Better That We Break" by Maroon 5. For those who picked up the FST (see last chapter), then you got to hear it before it was performed. For those not interested in the entire CD, head on over to Youtube.
There are no historical parallels this time around, but Matt did make mention of ones in the past. If you need help with them, look at his talk with Al at the start of this chapter. And with this chapter marks the end of the contest. Please PM me with your answers and I will announce the winner come Saturday (my time).
Until then! :3
Pairings: Alfred (US)/ Arthur (UK)
Characters: America and England with the band
Rating: PG
Warnings: Language and a mad Canadian
Summary: Alfred is approached by the Student Body President, Arthur, for help on his math exam. They hate each other, but maybe opposites can attract with the help of something unexpected.
This chapter: Matt stands up to his brother and Arthur has a very important question.
A/N: First time writing from a Canadian's point of view.This was probably going to be the worst birthday my brother had ever had. I knew it was the worst one I had ever had. Instead of being out with friends and partying to the fact I was almost twenty, I was stuck in the dorm with Alfred as he slept. But Alfred had pushed away all of his friends, claiming that what happened with me and him was between us, so I felt sort of compelled to stay with him when I knew he was going to be upset. The closer it got to his birthday, the worse his mood became. He didn't take kindly to everyone knowing the condition of his birth, although I found it all really uncalled for. I didn't voice my opinion to my brother. How could I? He was my brother and we had always stuck by each other since we were born.
Normally I just went to Arthur and told him how I felt. But the boy was starting to become less interested in Alfred. This was bad; very bad. Because while Arthur was off being a little punk and forgetting about Alfred, my brother was waking up in the middle of the night crying. I actually preferred the crying, it was when he would start masturbating in his sleep that I would quickly wake him up. All embarrassment aside, the situation with my brother was growing worse.
I was sitting at my desk while talking to some friends online when Alfred sat up and started crying again. Another nightmare. As usual, I got up to comfort him. Secretly, I felt very good knowing I was finally able to take care of my big brother; even if we were only half-siblings. We had never treated one another as such, even after we learned what our mother had done. When father left him, I was there to tell him over and over I still loved him.
"Al," I sighed, rubbing his back. "You've got to go and talk to Arthur about this. It's getting out of hand."
He shook his head, wiping away his tears. "He wouldn't let me. Dude, have you seen how he looks lately? He's no longer my Arthur."
"Al, he's not something. He's a human being. One that was hurt just as badly as you were, if not more." I crossed my arms. "I mean… Yeah, him hiding things and such was a bad idea, but was it so great of you to just hide our true relationship and your past with dad?"
"You wouldn't understand," Alfred grumbled.
"You're right… I don't understand." My frustration had just boiled to the breaking point. Yup, worst birthday ever. "And if this is how I'd be when I did understand, then I'd rather remain oblivious!"
"What do you mean?" Alfred asked, looking up at me with bright eyes illuminated in the low light from my laptop.
I stood up, glaring at Alfred. Was he really that oblivious? Well, he's always been. I think he hit his head too many times as a kid and in football, but I always tried to give him the benefit of the doubt seeing as he was my brother. But this time, I just couldn't take it anymore. He was choosing his pride and some ridiculous notion that Arthur hates him over being truly happy and in love and giving love back to someone who greatly deserved it. Why? So he could say he was right? Right about what, though? Was it really so great to say you're alone and you hate your life?
After hearing about both of their problems with the other and knowing they were saying it out of spite and not true hatred, I had reached the end. This should never have gone this far.
"You're acting like some little martyr! You both are!" I flung my hands in the air as I shouted, although my shouting was more like a slightly louder whisper. After hearing mom and dad and Alfred fight so much, I vowed I would never speak above a whisper. Loud noises scared me too much. "You both are so stupid! You two love each other and yet you refuse to tell the other person! You think your pain is worse than his was and he thinks the same, when you two shouldn't compare one another!
"Al, you pushed everyone away, saying it was just us again! Just the brothers! And while that worked when we were young, I don't want it! I want to be me and you to be you! I want you to love Arthur freely and not think everyone is out to get you because, guess what, no one gives that much of a damn about you as much as you think! But Arthur did! He still does! He still keeps tabs on you!"
Alfred's eyes widened, his mouth dropping slightly. I wasn't sure if it was from my temper exploding or my letting out that Arthur was still asking about him. Oops.
But I pressed on before he could interrupt me. "He does it because he cares for you! He wants to protect you, but that's wrong! You two need to stop seeing each other as things and see one another as human beings! You can't keep thinking that Arthur's some evil jerk out to sneak around in the shadows and stab you in the back! Yeah, he might be a punk ass these days, but he's still him in his core.
"And Arthur has to stop seeing you as some baby that he has to protect! If he's worried about you and wants to know what the hell is wrong, then he needs to tell you he's upset by it and you need to tell him what's actually wrong! No more lying! No more 'protecting' each other because all it's done is DRIVE YOU TWO INSANE! And if you don't hurry, you'll REALLY lose Arthur! He's falling out of love with you!"
I stopped when my head felt dizzy. I can't remember the last time I lost my temper. I don't think I ever did, actually. Alfred was staring at me in disbelief. I sat next to him on the bed, sighing, as my outburst sunk in. Alfred needed to hear what I felt almost as much as Arthur did. However, I had tried to say the same things to Arthur a week earlier, but I couldn't stand up to him. Even before he turned punk, I was scared of him. I never knew what he was thinking. Alfred did. He was the only one that could read Arthur.
"Wow," Alfred said. He looked at me. "Is…he really falling out of love with me?"
"Honestly, I don't think he ever will, but he certainly has stopped asking about you less," I replied. "Maybe he's trying to move on. But I just can't see either of you ever getting over this mess until you confront one another."
Alfred's face paled. "I can't talk to him. He won't listen to me. He won't come back."
"Don't assume, Al." I turned to look at him seriously, ignoring that fear in his eyes. "Even if you two don't get back together, this problem right now will affect you forever. Look how much it's already affected two now. I'd rather think 'Arthur the punk' is just a phase rather than a permanent title. Did you know his parents are furious with him and he hasn't been home since he got his tattoo?"
For a moment, the old spark was back in my brother's eyes. "What? No. What happened?"
I shrugged, not fully knowing all of the details. The day Arthur told me, he smoked an entire pack in an hour and grew ill by nightfall. It was terrible and I worried if he'd have to go see a doctor for his stress. That was the night he first confided in me that he still loved my brother. But that was months ago. He had never uttered a single thing of that topic since.
"They didn't approve of his new lifestyle. Arthur's even thinking of dropping out next semester. He doesn't see a point staying here and wasting his time or money."
Alfred looked at the floor with fresh determination. Or was that anger? I couldn't tell.
"No, this is bad," he mumbled. "They already lost one son…but to lose their Arthur…"
"What?" I leaned over. I hadn't heard him very well.
Alfred shook his head. "Nothing. I just… Matt, I know I still love him… He's been the only person I've trusted, aside from you… But how can I fix anything? How can I talk to him?"
I smiled slightly, relieved that Alfred had finally admitted his affections for Arthur. "The last relationship failed because it lacked something. Communication. Just talk to him, Al. The world won't stop and you won't die and he won't hate you."
It was silent between us for a moment. My laptop's screen went into screensaver mode, taking away our only source of light, so I got up to move the mouse. When I turned around, Alfred was smirking up at me.
"When did you get so smart?"
I flushed as I fiddled with my shirt. "Ah, I, uh. Well…you know… I was worried about you two… I mean, I've been on Arthur's side, but it's not like I ever left yours either. I want you to make up with Arthur. Please."
"Well, when could I? We don't have classes together and he avoids me like the plague."
I tapped my chin, trying to remember if there was any way I could sneak out of a lunch date or when I knew I would catch him on his way to band practice. Wait, band. That's right. "His band is putting on a show really soon! We should go!"
For a moment, Alfred thought. I waited, but started to worry how much he was going to second guess himself. Okay, I hated to do this, but I knew once I pulled this next card out there was no way my brother could back down.
I squared my shoulders and tried to look more upset than I really was. "What kind of hero are you? I thought you would love to just charge in there and sweep Arthur off his feet with your proclamation of love!"
Alfred snapped his head up, eyes wide. He jumped up with fire behind his eyes. Got him. "Shut up! I am so a hero! I will totally go in and get Arthur back!"
I laughed when Alfred whapped me in the face with a pillow. I grabbed my own and we started a pillow fight. For the first time in a year, I felt like I had finally gotten my brother back. While I knew nothing had truly changed just yet, there was progress. I wasn't the one to help him. That was up to Arthur. The two had to come to conclusions about one another.
I only hoped that it would be a good one."We should totally crash that gig!" Gilbert exclaimed, pumping a fist into the air.
I had decided to tell the band of Alfred's going to the performance this weekend. At first, I was against it, but I knew that despite both Alfred and Alfred's brush off of the band, the members were all still in agreement that we were together. We just had to get our leaders back. Every Tuesday we would meet and practice, hoping that someday those two idiots would join us again.
Now it seemed we all had the perfect chance.
"I don't want to crash it," Elizaveta started. "But we should definitely be there as moral support for Alfred. I'm sure he must be nervous."
I nodded. "He is, but I know he wants this. He's convinced you guys are on Arthur's side and Arthur thinks the same thing."
"That's, like, so totally stupid!" Felix exclaimed from where he sat on his stool for his drum set. "We could never pick between them! How could they, like, even think that way?"
Roderich looked up from his tuning of his violin. "It doesn't matter now. Everyone needs to hear the truth. But this is their fight. We'll just be moral support, nothing more."
"Man, I hate this," Gilbert whined. "I miss those two."
"Si, I do too," Antonio sighed. "The band hasn't been the same since they left. I'm sure even Francis misses Arthur."
Francis, standing next to me, waved a hand in the air with a sad smile. "Oui, of course I do. There is nothing like a good target to pick on like Arthur. And all the sexual tension in the air from those two made every practice so much fun."
"Then let's make a promise!" Elizaveta said as she came forward. "Promise that we'll get our leaders back together!"
I smiled as everyone agreed. It wouldn't be too much later that Friday would be upon us. And once it was, no one knew what would happen. We could all hope and trust that the boys really did love each other.Friday night couldn't come soon enough. I almost went insane because of all the stress Alfred was under. He paced the room, muttering to himself, and constantly trying to back out. But I wouldn't budge. He was going. Sometimes I could be just as stubborn. It was a trait we shared, one from our mother.
And so it was with a final shove, Alfred and I arrived at the bar where we knew Arthur's band was playing. Everyone was wearing black and looked way more badass than us, making us stick out like sore thumbs. Arthur's band had yet to start and we didn't want to spend more time inside than we had to. It was full of smoke and gave me the creeps. Alfred, always the tougher one, protected me and kept me close to his side, watching all those stares we received from the punkish looking people that went inside.
"Hey, you're not old enough for this place."
Alfred and I turned quickly. For a moment, I panicked as to who had confronted us, but upon seeing the other band members smiling behind a grinning Gilbert I felt a wave of relief. Surprisingly, Alfred moved behind me.
"What're you guys doing here?" he asked nervously.
"We're here for you!" Elizaveta exclaimed cheerfully. She rushed out and took Alfred's hands in hers. She pulled him away from me. "We want to cheer you on."
"Wait, but I thought you guys were all friends with Arthur," Alfred said slowly, obviously confused. He looked from one member to the other. His gaze stopped on Gilbert. "I thought you'd jump at the chance to go out with him."
At this, Gilbert scrunched up his face. "What? Dude, no. I'm straight, true and true. I just like to pick on the little guy. His reactions are hilarious."
"Prove you're straight," Alfred demanded.
Shrugging, Gilbert pointed at Elizaveta. "We used to date back in middle school. That's why I didn't want her in the band. I knew she'd totally dump her pansy ass boyfriend and come back to me."
"What?"
"Drama would ensue and pretty soon even pretty little Felix over there would want me."
"What?"
By this time, Elizaveta and Felix had Gilbert by the collar, shaking him and pushing him back towards the alley. I scooted away from them, grateful he hadn't picked on me. I feared that Alfred might have punched him in the face. However, Alfred hadn't been convinced just yet.
He looked at Antonio. "And what about you? I know you told Arthur something and then you two were the best of friends."
The Spaniard gave a meek smile, blushing slightly. "Si, I did confide in him, but I do not love the boy. I told him that I have a girlfriend in Belgium and I was actually saving up money to see her. That was why I joined the band. Not because I was a hotshot back in Spain. I just didn't want to tell everyone because I wanted to earn it on my own. Gilbert and Arthur were the first to find out. After you left, I told everyone else."
Alfred looked to Francis, desperately hoping to direct his misguided anger at someone. "You?"
Francis turned a slight shade of green, holding his hands up. "Non, that's okay. Arthur is all yours, right up to his bushy 'brows."
Feeling rather foolish, Alfred looked to Roderich. The man shrugged with a smile. "It seems your assumptions of us have proven incorrect."
I had only seen Alfred become humble once before that night. And that was to Arthur. I was amazed he apologized, asking for forgiveness, and promising to never repeat his actions again. Elizaveta and Felix, having released Gilbert from their attack, pounced on my brother, hugging him and accepting his apology. The others only smiled and patted him on the back.
Me? I couldn't be prouder.
"Thanks everyone, "Alfred said after a time, his face red. "But…now I have to get my boyfriend back."
"Even if he says no," Roderich started. "You two can always be friends. I'm sure that much is possible despite your differences. You two will always have jazz."
Alfred nodded, gaining his confidence back. He always worked best when he wasn't alone, no matter how much he tried to make the opposite true. For too long he had been alone, working against the world and hoping to rise to the top. But the world was never that kind nor that compliant. Lone rangers always got shot at the end. It was only those that held out a hand and received help that rode off into the sunset with the woman. Or, in this case, an Englishman.
"YEAH! ARE YOU GUYS READY?"
Everyone jumped at hearing a booming voice over a microphone burst out from the bar. The band! We had almost forgotten, so consumed where we in our lovely reunion. Suddenly, a loud BLANG from a guitar shook our teeth. Inside we could hear girls screaming.
"ONE, TWO, THREE! LET'S GO!"
Gilbert and Antonio distracted the bouncers as Alfred and I sneaked inside. Alfred could possibly get away with being twenty-one, seeing as he was only a year away. I was constantly overlooked so even if the man had stopped us, he would never have batted an eyelash at me slinking in. However Felix and Elizaveta were another matter.
Somehow, we managed to all make it inside. The real problem now was to not be killed by the mosh pit of crazed fans that jumped all around us. I felt my body being shoved back and forth, my ribs attacked by elbows, and I think someone might have felt me up at one point. Now I was scared.
I reached around trying to find someone to help me when a lone hand shot out, grabbing me by my arm. I was pulled forward into Francis' chest where he held me close, backing out of the pit. The others had found refugee against the side wall. Alfred emerged a short time later looking far worse than any of us. He instantly pulled me away from Francis, putting distance between us.
"Holy shit, Arthur can play!" Gilbert shouted over the loud music.
He was pointing at the stage. Because of our sudden encounter with punk fans, we hadn't paid any attention to the music blasting all around us. We all turned our attention and I could distinctly hear Alfred cursing under his breath. I doubted it was because he was in awe like Gilbert was.
Arthur, always the smartly dressed young man, had gelled spiky hair with a ripped black shirt, tight black pants, and chains hanging off of his belt. His earrings and large belt buckle of the Union Jack glistened from the stage lights. He was holding a red bass guitar, watching as his band mates jumped around the stage. I don't think anyone actually heard the songs as we were just stuck there in a trance.
Where had our nice little English boy gone? I had seen Arthur more than anyone else since the couple had broken up, but even I hadn't seen Arthur like this. He looked so aggressive, practically beating the strings on his guitar as he looked out into the crowd. I was thankful we were all pressed up against the wall.
I felt a hand take mine suddenly. I looked down, seeing Alfred clinging to me. He looked so nervous. I honestly couldn't blame him. He only knew how to handle a slightly angry Arthur that spurted out English none of us knew or one that threw books every now and again. Now it was a year later and Arthur had changed. A lot.
"Alfred," I said, leaning close. "What do you feel right now?"
"Terrified," Alfred bluntly replied.
I shook my head. "No. I meant for Arthur. Do you love him?"
"Yes!" Alfred looked me in the eyes and I knew he was telling the truth. He just had to get over that initial fear.
"THEN JUMP!"
In retrospect, maybe pushing my brother out to be eaten alive by the mosh pit was a bad idea, especially since he lost his balance and was instantly swept away into the sea of bodies. I think I heard him call for help, but Francis held onto me for dear life.
I looked from the crowd to the stage, hoping Arthur would see Alfred. But he was moving back and forth with that green haired guitarist. There had been rumors that the two were sleeping together, but whenever I asked Arthur, he would look disgusted by the idea and deny it. Still, there was an obvious connection between them.
The boy bounced off of Arthur and moved to the other side of the stage, coaxing on the girls in front. Arthur looked back out at the crowd. He enjoyed playing, that much was true, but he didn't seem to be nearly into the songs as much as the others. The black haired singer was ranting about "The Man" and the government, but I didn't see that same passion for hating society in Arthur as much as the other three. He just seemed to be there, enjoying the music and not the words.
Then, he seemed to freeze up. His eyes were locked on one particular spot and I knew then he had seen the one person in the bar that wasn't in black and red and oozing of pure delinquency. Well, maybe back in high school Arthur would have thought so. But now that Arthur had joined the big boys and seen what "hooligans" really were, I doubt he thought much of Alfred's disrespectful uniform anymore.
The song ended abruptly, it wasn't very long, and the crowd broke out into applause. From beside me, Gilbert hollered his approval. We looked at him, but he just jumped up and down like the others in the crowd.
"Thank you!" the singer yelled into the microphone. "Yeah and for our next song-"
There was a high pitch squeal over the speakers and suddenly Arthur's voice flooded the bar. He had grabbed the stand from his band mate, taking center stage. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I need to say something."
A few girls shrieked, their hands reaching out towards Arthur. I think some girl shouted for him to marry her. But Arthur didn't pay any of them any attention. He was still focused only on that one spot where a blonde cowlick stood out in the sea of darkness.
"…A year ago today the man I loved hurt me and left me," Arthur started. For a moment, he looked ready to just flee, but something in him compelled him forward. "He took my trust and destroyed it. He's here tonight and I have something I want to say to him."
Arthur pulled his guitar off from him, putting it on his stand. As he moved back towards the synthesizer that stood in the back, the crowd began to murmur as to who exactly this mystery man could be. Arthur took his spot by the instrument, took a deep breath, and pulled the microphone to him.
"This is a cover and isn't what we normally play… But I want you to hear this."
Arthur's lovely voice suddenly silenced everyone. He pressed his fingers onto the keys with effortless beauty as we all knew, but had forgotten. It had been too long since we were captivated by his skills. For some reason, that man really thought he couldn't sing and was embarrassed when we drew attention to it. Whatever notion he had was thrown to the wind as he ignored his old fears of the stage and singing, letting his heart out, sharing it with everyone. Finally.
I never knew perfection 'till I heard you speak and now it kills me just to hear you say the simple things. Now waking up is hard to do. Sleeping's impossible too. Everything's remindin' me of you, but what can I do?
It's not right, not okay, to say the words that you say. Maybe we're better off this way. I'm not fine. I'm in pain! It's harder every day. Maybe we're better off this way. It's better that we break.
By this time, Arthur's band had lightly joined in with a soft drum accompaniment and gentle guitar rift. Arthur kept singing, his eyes tearing up as he pressed on.
Saw you sitting on the lawn. You're fragile and you're cold, but that's all right. The lie these days is getting rough. Knocked you down and beat you up. But it's just a rollercoaster anyways! Yeah!
Arthur suddenly kicked the chair behind him as if to emphasize his statement. My eyes watched as it fell, but then noticed something in the crowd. That cowlick from before was steadily making its way towards the stage. The girls parted, letting Alfred reach almost the very front. By this point, I think everyone knew exactly who had dumped Arthur.
At this point, Arthur was slamming his hands onto the piano. He was climaxing at the song, his words sounding more desperate and wobbly from the tears choking him.
I'm not fine! And I'm in pain! It's harder everyday! …Maybe we're better off this way. It's better that we break, baby.
Arthur stopped instantly, the crowd waiting on their breath. He quickly grabbed the microphone and moved to stand back in center stage. He looked right in my brother's eyes. An unspoken conversation happened in a split second. Whatever was said, it pushed Arthur to call him out.
"So what do you think, Alfred? Do you think it's better this way?"
When Alfred made no movement and said nothing, Arthur dropped the microphone.
And left the stage.Hoshiko2's cents: I wanted to be super evil and just end it here, but I'm not that terrible. The last chapter will be up Saturday. For the record, this takes place on Alfred's 20th birthday. Alfred and Arthur have been separated for a year now.
The song Arthur sings is "Better That We Break" by Maroon 5. For those who picked up the FST (see last chapter), then you got to hear it before it was performed. For those not interested in the entire CD, head on over to Youtube.
There are no historical parallels this time around, but Matt did make mention of ones in the past. If you need help with them, look at his talk with Al at the start of this chapter. And with this chapter marks the end of the contest. Please PM me with your answers and I will announce the winner come Saturday (my time).
Until then! :3