meme and some reflection
FIRST. this is probably going to be hella big so i apologize. D:
um. i like my bright pens so YOU PROBABLY CAN'T READ ANYTHING but that's cool right. TAG ERRRBODYYYY.
and, just wanted to blather on and on about this band/group i saw on friday. it was. I CAN'T EVEN THE FEELINGS.
like, i've never really been so into a group of people like this, yanno. I LOVE LOVE LOVE matt nathanson, and when i saw him i was SO ECSTATIC but we were sitting quite a ways back, and I didn't get to hang around after the show because we had to drive 7 hours back to LA from San Jose and I could barely remember the show or what his face looked like he was so far away.
I could barely remember how it felt to sing along in that dark theatre. I AM REALLY VERY JEALOUS of people who can remember moments like that. People who can say it's burned into their memories or that it's something they'll never forget. I never forget words, but visually I have a hard time retaining things like that. LIKE, IS THAT NORMAL. :C I feel like I'm missing out on a lot of things.
BUT ABOUT THIS GROUP UM. Basically JYJ are 3 people from DBSK/TVXQ/Tohoshinki, and the split from the group because their management is basically a slave-driving-money-sucking-douchebag of a company. And I've been following that group since their debut in 2003. It's just. weird, because I've drifted in and out of that "fandom"(?) for lack of a better word. And I've loved them, but didn't think I'd love them to THIS EXTENT that I miss them when they're gone and just. ALL THESE FEELINGS GUYS.
maybe it was just the drama? like. OH GOD I CANNOT EVEN TELL YOU THE BAD LUCK I HAD WITH THIS GROUP. SKIP ITALICS FOR MY RAGEEEEEEEEEE AND UNFORTUNATE LUCK.
I was wanting so hard to get amazing tickets. There was a pre-sale, but nobody knew the password, and when they did I hadn't asked for it, and then I realized the pre-sale thing was still going past the time it said on the website BUT when i thought to go back and ask for the password, IT WAS OVER FFFFF. And so I decided to just try and get the best normal tickets possible. I drifted awake and stayed awake for 15 minutes before sales started. THEN I FELL ASLEEP FOR AN HOUR. : | And I ended up with okay tickets.
EXCEPT THEN PEOPLE STARTED TO SELL BETTER ONES?! So I was like MAN WHAT DO I DO and ticketmaster doesn't refund tickets except for certain venues which got my hopes up. SUCKS because I was debating whether or not to grab those tickets or wait or get insurance, but thought there wouldn't BE better tickets. So I was resigned because AT LEAST I WAS GOING TO SEE THEM RIGHT.
FYI, tickets to rows 1 - 3 were released two days before the concert. : | But I heard the view wasn't as good so, idk.
ASIDE FROM THAT uhh I went to the airport to see them, wasn't going to, but I woke up and decided that if they weren't on the first two flights I would go. Thought I was going to be late, but I did make it in time to see them. EXCEPT THEY KIND OF WENT THE OTHER WAY. Basically there's a regular pathway out next to the info booth, and another little regular exit with no ramp/rail. ANDDD because of miscommunication, they went out the regular (VIP?) exit and all the fans MOBBED THEM and ran into the streets and after their car and it was scary as FUQ and I didn't see head nor tail of them after 3 hours. This also happened when we waited for them to exit the venue night of the concert. I was debating whether or not to switch views too but. I DON'T KNOW GUYS I SUCK. What's sad is that, both times, there was a group of people who left to go downtown after the airport, saw them go into a restaurant, and some guy grabbed their stuff and got it signed. ;A; And there were some girls that left right after the concert and saw them go into their hotel and were basically RIGHT NEXT TO THEM sigh.
But uh, one lucky thing is that we went downtown for bubble tea after the concert, and walking back to the skytrain station, we saw their taxi surrounded by a bunch of girls and so we got to see them then! Well, me personally not a lot, because I'm not one to crowd or budge so I just standing near the back and stuff. A friend was in like, perfect position after the concert and at the taxi and got waves and smiles from one of the guys twice. XD SO I think it was just her luck instead of mine. Because at the concert, streamers were shot out, and even though I was on the floor I didn't pay it much attention though the silver ones had printed autographs on it, AND I HAD CONSIDERED GRABBING SOME AUGHHHH. Like seriously, all this considering. I SHOULD JUST DO EVERYTHING NEXT TIME SERIOUSLY.
But yeah so. MAYBE THAT IS WHY but when they left I was feeling kind of bereft yanno. All that messing with my head, and seriously I didn't know I could feel so strongly about a group of people who I can't even talk to. Especially since other girls were crying and screaming and I didn't do ANY of that. JUST THE SILENT AND STRONG TYPE I AM weeping on the inside and such. But, yeah I was so torn up about them leaving, and all these other girls getting closer than I could ever be. I was seriously debating whether or not I could go ask the venue if they still had garbage from the concert so I could look for those streamers guise.
BUT THEN YOU KNOW I realized there's always going to be fans who get closer, and there's always going to be venues and places and people they treasure more. And I can't do anything about that. As a fan, it's unlikely we'll ever get personal recognition. And yeah that's sad, but it's not like we think of them every moment of our life. I'M SURE SOME PEOPLE THINK THEY DO? And maybe if they listen to them everyday and watch their videos everyday they're certainly closer than I am, but they're not going to choose the lives of their friends and family over this group, right!? It's like, that is why crazy stalker fans creep me out. Do you think you're going to be remembered that way? Do you really want to be recognized that badly? What do you think you're going to get out of it? Like, seriously I don't get it.
BUT YEAH PERSONALLY. I'm sad I can't remember more. AND I KIND OF BLAME THEM OKAY they sound and look exactly like they do in pictures and videos it's like a FREAKING DREAM and 2 hours passed by SO fast even though I KNOW i was there and I heard it and saw their faces I can't remeber personally what it was like. I wish there was a way to record experiences and feelings and everything. ;A;
So I'm going through and trying to find the videos with the best audio quality to rip the songs off of, because I didn't have anything to record with, and I'm not sure if I want to rip the video as well but meh. Gotta sort through some better pictures that I didn't take and. IDK GUISE. :C
Post concert depressed followed by realization that WOW I REALLY LOVE THESE GUYS WHAT IS THIS and sadness that they're no longer one group together and just. I don't know. What do I DOOOOOOO with myself. I know I'll forget all this eventually. Sad, but I know it will, since my memory is fuq'd. But you know, hopefully they come back and fall in love with Vancouver like I have BECAUSE THIS CITY IS SO SO MAGNIFICENT LIKE not going to rant on about it because that is just too much IT'S TOO MUCH NOW OH GOD I'M SO SORRY but uh, yeah hopefully they felt the love we had for them even if it was sometime TOO MUCH LOVE ahemgirlsfollowingtheirtaxigoawaypleaseahem.
Watching this video, it's like. Back to that feeling of never wanting them to leave, of wanting to drag out that moment forever. :C Their stupid freaking AMAZING heartrending voices. ;A; Halp what do I do with myself.
um. i like my bright pens so YOU PROBABLY CAN'T READ ANYTHING but that's cool right. TAG ERRRBODYYYY.
and, just wanted to blather on and on about this band/group i saw on friday. it was. I CAN'T EVEN THE FEELINGS.
like, i've never really been so into a group of people like this, yanno. I LOVE LOVE LOVE matt nathanson, and when i saw him i was SO ECSTATIC but we were sitting quite a ways back, and I didn't get to hang around after the show because we had to drive 7 hours back to LA from San Jose and I could barely remember the show or what his face looked like he was so far away.
I could barely remember how it felt to sing along in that dark theatre. I AM REALLY VERY JEALOUS of people who can remember moments like that. People who can say it's burned into their memories or that it's something they'll never forget. I never forget words, but visually I have a hard time retaining things like that. LIKE, IS THAT NORMAL. :C I feel like I'm missing out on a lot of things.
BUT ABOUT THIS GROUP UM. Basically JYJ are 3 people from DBSK/TVXQ/Tohoshinki, and the split from the group because their management is basically a slave-driving-money-sucking-douchebag of a company. And I've been following that group since their debut in 2003. It's just. weird, because I've drifted in and out of that "fandom"(?) for lack of a better word. And I've loved them, but didn't think I'd love them to THIS EXTENT that I miss them when they're gone and just. ALL THESE FEELINGS GUYS.
maybe it was just the drama? like. OH GOD I CANNOT EVEN TELL YOU THE BAD LUCK I HAD WITH THIS GROUP. SKIP ITALICS FOR MY RAGEEEEEEEEEE AND UNFORTUNATE LUCK.
I was wanting so hard to get amazing tickets. There was a pre-sale, but nobody knew the password, and when they did I hadn't asked for it, and then I realized the pre-sale thing was still going past the time it said on the website BUT when i thought to go back and ask for the password, IT WAS OVER FFFFF. And so I decided to just try and get the best normal tickets possible. I drifted awake and stayed awake for 15 minutes before sales started. THEN I FELL ASLEEP FOR AN HOUR. : | And I ended up with okay tickets.
EXCEPT THEN PEOPLE STARTED TO SELL BETTER ONES?! So I was like MAN WHAT DO I DO and ticketmaster doesn't refund tickets except for certain venues which got my hopes up. SUCKS because I was debating whether or not to grab those tickets or wait or get insurance, but thought there wouldn't BE better tickets. So I was resigned because AT LEAST I WAS GOING TO SEE THEM RIGHT.
FYI, tickets to rows 1 - 3 were released two days before the concert. : | But I heard the view wasn't as good so, idk.
ASIDE FROM THAT uhh I went to the airport to see them, wasn't going to, but I woke up and decided that if they weren't on the first two flights I would go. Thought I was going to be late, but I did make it in time to see them. EXCEPT THEY KIND OF WENT THE OTHER WAY. Basically there's a regular pathway out next to the info booth, and another little regular exit with no ramp/rail. ANDDD because of miscommunication, they went out the regular (VIP?) exit and all the fans MOBBED THEM and ran into the streets and after their car and it was scary as FUQ and I didn't see head nor tail of them after 3 hours. This also happened when we waited for them to exit the venue night of the concert. I was debating whether or not to switch views too but. I DON'T KNOW GUYS I SUCK. What's sad is that, both times, there was a group of people who left to go downtown after the airport, saw them go into a restaurant, and some guy grabbed their stuff and got it signed. ;A; And there were some girls that left right after the concert and saw them go into their hotel and were basically RIGHT NEXT TO THEM sigh.
But uh, one lucky thing is that we went downtown for bubble tea after the concert, and walking back to the skytrain station, we saw their taxi surrounded by a bunch of girls and so we got to see them then! Well, me personally not a lot, because I'm not one to crowd or budge so I just standing near the back and stuff. A friend was in like, perfect position after the concert and at the taxi and got waves and smiles from one of the guys twice. XD SO I think it was just her luck instead of mine. Because at the concert, streamers were shot out, and even though I was on the floor I didn't pay it much attention though the silver ones had printed autographs on it, AND I HAD CONSIDERED GRABBING SOME AUGHHHH. Like seriously, all this considering. I SHOULD JUST DO EVERYTHING NEXT TIME SERIOUSLY.
But yeah so. MAYBE THAT IS WHY but when they left I was feeling kind of bereft yanno. All that messing with my head, and seriously I didn't know I could feel so strongly about a group of people who I can't even talk to. Especially since other girls were crying and screaming and I didn't do ANY of that. JUST THE SILENT AND STRONG TYPE I AM weeping on the inside and such. But, yeah I was so torn up about them leaving, and all these other girls getting closer than I could ever be. I was seriously debating whether or not I could go ask the venue if they still had garbage from the concert so I could look for those streamers guise.
BUT THEN YOU KNOW I realized there's always going to be fans who get closer, and there's always going to be venues and places and people they treasure more. And I can't do anything about that. As a fan, it's unlikely we'll ever get personal recognition. And yeah that's sad, but it's not like we think of them every moment of our life. I'M SURE SOME PEOPLE THINK THEY DO? And maybe if they listen to them everyday and watch their videos everyday they're certainly closer than I am, but they're not going to choose the lives of their friends and family over this group, right!? It's like, that is why crazy stalker fans creep me out. Do you think you're going to be remembered that way? Do you really want to be recognized that badly? What do you think you're going to get out of it? Like, seriously I don't get it.
BUT YEAH PERSONALLY. I'm sad I can't remember more. AND I KIND OF BLAME THEM OKAY they sound and look exactly like they do in pictures and videos it's like a FREAKING DREAM and 2 hours passed by SO fast even though I KNOW i was there and I heard it and saw their faces I can't remeber personally what it was like. I wish there was a way to record experiences and feelings and everything. ;A;
So I'm going through and trying to find the videos with the best audio quality to rip the songs off of, because I didn't have anything to record with, and I'm not sure if I want to rip the video as well but meh. Gotta sort through some better pictures that I didn't take and. IDK GUISE. :C
Post concert depressed followed by realization that WOW I REALLY LOVE THESE GUYS WHAT IS THIS and sadness that they're no longer one group together and just. I don't know. What do I DOOOOOOO with myself. I know I'll forget all this eventually. Sad, but I know it will, since my memory is fuq'd. But you know, hopefully they come back and fall in love with Vancouver like I have BECAUSE THIS CITY IS SO SO MAGNIFICENT LIKE not going to rant on about it because that is just too much IT'S TOO MUCH NOW OH GOD I'M SO SORRY but uh, yeah hopefully they felt the love we had for them even if it was sometime TOO MUCH LOVE ahemgirlsfollowingtheirtaxigoawaypleaseahem.
Click to viewWatching this video, it's like. Back to that feeling of never wanting them to leave, of wanting to drag out that moment forever. :C Their stupid freaking AMAZING heartrending voices. ;A; Halp what do I do with myself.