time for an update
Ever since I got on Facebook I turn to LJ less and less and I dont like that. Facebook is amazing because it is such a fluid constant conversation with all my friends at once, but it is so fleeting, so mercurial, that some posts I would rather cement in LJ. They are different and excel in their own ways I suppose.
Anyhow my mom being gone still hurts a lot. I think about her everyday. it used to be more painful, the images that would come to mind. I try to think about the good images of her now. for many weeks after her death I just ate and ate and didnt cry. subsequently I put on an additional 15 pounds. finally the dam broke and I had a good 45 minute bawling session as my cat looked at me with this "what wrong??" face. I felt better after it and now I am just trying to find a path forward. Losing the weight seems like a good focus for me in addition to my work. I also have Felix to entertain and my new home to move into to as well.
I move into my new house in 2 weeks!!! It's coming up so fast. I look around my house right now and I have been packing and packing, but thankfully I dont have a ton of stuff. A lot of it has to get done right before moving. I guess I can pack up my kitchen mostly since I dont have a freaking oven to cook with!! Thanks Sears! still it is so weird to think that in 2 weeks I will be in my new house. I have lived in this house since I moved back 5 years ago. Before that I grew up in this house back in 1989-1993 and off and on after that during college breaks. My sister and I are still deciding if we want to buy out our siblings and keep the house as a rental or just sell it. Unfortunately my brother has been amazingly dick-ish and is stressing out my eldest sister as she decides what to do. He has been belittling every dollar she spends on the house and argues that he shouldnt have to spend any money on the house. This whole experience of my mom dying has brought out the worst in my brother and it's sad because as soon as we've cut ties to him financially with my mother's house I think I will pretty much ignore his existence after it. He has been such a cock to my sister who has done nothing but try to keep everything amicable. Once he got scent of getting money from my mom's estate he changed. I want nothing else to do with him. I told my sister I have her back no matter what she chooses to do with the house. Thankfully I budgeted my new home without the rental income possibility of my mom's house so it's not a big deal what happens.
Work has been like old times. I have been working for my old group for the past month. I have seen my instruments die and then subsequently resurrected by me several times. I am helping them out and it makes me happy. Soon though I must return to my new group and continue the awesome work there.
Xmas was fun! I got a really nice jacket from Felix as well as a microplane (belated bday gift). the jacket has turned out to be perfect because it is wind-resistant and water-resistant so that pretty much covers what makes ya cold!
That is all for now. I am sure I will have plenty to comment on once I move into my new home.
Anyhow my mom being gone still hurts a lot. I think about her everyday. it used to be more painful, the images that would come to mind. I try to think about the good images of her now. for many weeks after her death I just ate and ate and didnt cry. subsequently I put on an additional 15 pounds. finally the dam broke and I had a good 45 minute bawling session as my cat looked at me with this "what wrong??" face. I felt better after it and now I am just trying to find a path forward. Losing the weight seems like a good focus for me in addition to my work. I also have Felix to entertain and my new home to move into to as well.
I move into my new house in 2 weeks!!! It's coming up so fast. I look around my house right now and I have been packing and packing, but thankfully I dont have a ton of stuff. A lot of it has to get done right before moving. I guess I can pack up my kitchen mostly since I dont have a freaking oven to cook with!! Thanks Sears! still it is so weird to think that in 2 weeks I will be in my new house. I have lived in this house since I moved back 5 years ago. Before that I grew up in this house back in 1989-1993 and off and on after that during college breaks. My sister and I are still deciding if we want to buy out our siblings and keep the house as a rental or just sell it. Unfortunately my brother has been amazingly dick-ish and is stressing out my eldest sister as she decides what to do. He has been belittling every dollar she spends on the house and argues that he shouldnt have to spend any money on the house. This whole experience of my mom dying has brought out the worst in my brother and it's sad because as soon as we've cut ties to him financially with my mother's house I think I will pretty much ignore his existence after it. He has been such a cock to my sister who has done nothing but try to keep everything amicable. Once he got scent of getting money from my mom's estate he changed. I want nothing else to do with him. I told my sister I have her back no matter what she chooses to do with the house. Thankfully I budgeted my new home without the rental income possibility of my mom's house so it's not a big deal what happens.
Work has been like old times. I have been working for my old group for the past month. I have seen my instruments die and then subsequently resurrected by me several times. I am helping them out and it makes me happy. Soon though I must return to my new group and continue the awesome work there.
Xmas was fun! I got a really nice jacket from Felix as well as a microplane (belated bday gift). the jacket has turned out to be perfect because it is wind-resistant and water-resistant so that pretty much covers what makes ya cold!
That is all for now. I am sure I will have plenty to comment on once I move into my new home.