ugh
I am a horrid human being. Filled with resentment, jealousy and rage. I hate it. I hate me.
Two years ago, mom was diagnosed with alzheimers disease. Two years ago I left my job to be a full time caregiver. I am at my wits end now. I can't handle it. I get so angry at her and yell. Actually get in her face and yell at her - like a drill instructor at a boot camp. I hate not being able to sleep normal hours because I need to change her sheets if she has an accident (which is almost every night)
She needs to be in a home, and I need serious counseling.
OH MY GOD I HATE THIS.
I live downstairs with my mom. I get NO peace whatsoever. My nephew has the room over mine. He plays basketball in his fucking room. Nevermind that I get these horrible headaches where I seriously want to die. He actually dribbles the ball on his floor (aka MY ceiling)
My brother lives a fucking 20 miles away - does he EVER come over to visit my mom? fuck no. why would he do that? He's got a wife that has a perfect fucking family. Mom, Dad and he feels included. I can't hate him - because if I had a chance to live in a perfect family, I would. But I do resent the fuck out of him for NEVER fucking offering.
I need a vacation. I need time to sleep. I need time to relax and breathe because I am going to end up with a stroke and/or heart attack before I'm 40 at the rate I am going.
God. I hate my family. And I hate my life.
Please kill me.
Two years ago, mom was diagnosed with alzheimers disease. Two years ago I left my job to be a full time caregiver. I am at my wits end now. I can't handle it. I get so angry at her and yell. Actually get in her face and yell at her - like a drill instructor at a boot camp. I hate not being able to sleep normal hours because I need to change her sheets if she has an accident (which is almost every night)
She needs to be in a home, and I need serious counseling.
OH MY GOD I HATE THIS.
I live downstairs with my mom. I get NO peace whatsoever. My nephew has the room over mine. He plays basketball in his fucking room. Nevermind that I get these horrible headaches where I seriously want to die. He actually dribbles the ball on his floor (aka MY ceiling)
My brother lives a fucking 20 miles away - does he EVER come over to visit my mom? fuck no. why would he do that? He's got a wife that has a perfect fucking family. Mom, Dad and he feels included. I can't hate him - because if I had a chance to live in a perfect family, I would. But I do resent the fuck out of him for NEVER fucking offering.
I need a vacation. I need time to sleep. I need time to relax and breathe because I am going to end up with a stroke and/or heart attack before I'm 40 at the rate I am going.
God. I hate my family. And I hate my life.
Please kill me.