[Fanfiction] One sided
Title: one sided
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: KyuSaeng [KyuJong x YoungSaeng]
POV: KyuJong (like all of my Fanfictions XD)
Warning: English is not my first language, so please accept and look over mistakes.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the persons I used in the fanfiction.
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I didn't know how long I was in love with him. I only knew that my love for him would never change, it didn't matter that he was not in love with me. As long as I was able to watch over him, to listen to his worries, to be his best friend whatever would be, that was enough for me. I was used to one-sided love, it didn't bother me at all.
The fact that he finally had a crush on our band mate Jung Min didn't bother me, too. Sure, I wished that he came to me with telling me that he realized that he was in love with me, his best friend. But the truth was, he came and told me that he was thinking, he fell for Jung Min. Whatever made him fall for this guy, I was happy as long as he was it. And it really seemed this way, I watched over the both, maybe just like a stalker, but he was my best friend, my secret love, so I told myself it was okay to do this.
It came the day when I wished, I didn't was in love with him, because I didn't want to lie to him. But something happened and I didn't know how to handle this in a right way.
I was on my way to our apartment when I noticed Jung Min in a cafe on the other side of the street. First I didn't pay that much attention to it, thought of nothing bad and just wanted to continue walking when I noticed that he wasn't alone there. I stopped my way and tried to take a closer look without him notice me. He sat towards another man, I didn't know him, but I didn't care either. I just saw the fact that he wasn't with Young Saeng and I was curious in what relationship he was with the other man. But nothing really happened and I wanted to go back to our house when I recognized how Jung Min stood up, sat next to the other man and kissed him tenderly on his lips. I gasped and couldn't believe what I saw right now. For a moment my mind went blind before a question appeared in my head. Should I tell Young Saeng about that?
On my way home I decided that I wouldn't say anything to my best friend, I didn't want to worry him or be sad. But nevertheless I had to talk to Jung Min about what I saw. But I never had the chance to, he was always busy, even Young Saeng didn't know exactly where he was going, he only told us that he was busy with something. I frowned when I heard this excuse and thought about the incident, but I smiled, when Young Saeng asked me about my serious face, and asked him to go shopping. He happily said yes and I was glad because I could spend time with my best friend again. We enjoyed the time together and he said that he somehow missed the time we shared together and I was happy to hear this from him. When we were ready with shopping he wanted to drink some coffee and I joined him. I didn't want to go to the cafe on our normally way home, but Young Saeng wished and I said finally yes. Sighing, I entered the cafe first, he walked behind me, and I looked around for a free place. And stopped when I saw a well-known person with another man on the same spot than before. Young Saeng bumped into me and when I felt this I turned around.
“Maybe we should go somewhere else. It's really full here.” I said quickly and pushed him out of the cafe.
“Are you okay?” He asked worried and I nodded fast.
“Let's go somewhere else.” I smiled at him and he replied it.
It was better for him, I told myself. This time, Jung Min had to explain everything to me.
This night I stayed up until I heard the front door closed. I stood up from my lying position on the couch and looked at a surprised Jung Min.
“What you're doing here?” He asked while he took off his jacket.
“I waited for you.”
He looked curious. “Why?”
“I wanted to talk with you.” I pointed to the chair towards me and he sat down without a complain.
“Shoot.” He said, still curious, I could see it in his eyes.
“You shouldn't play with Young Saeng.” I started and was cut off because he began to laugh.
I rolled my eyes annoyed by his laugh and after he was ready with it, his face became serious. “What makes you think, I would play with him?”
Somehow this situation scared me. But I didn't want him let go this easy with this. So I went further.
“I saw you with this guy now two times in the same cafe.”
“And this means what?”
I sighed. “When you don't love Young Saeng, don't play with his feelings. He is truly in love with you and I don't want him to be hurt because you're acting like a bitch.” I said angrily and he started to laugh again.
“So you love him?” He asked after he calmed down again.
My eyes widened for a short time. Was it this obvious?
“Don't be shocked.” He said and smiled devilish. “I won't run around and say it to anybody. As long as you keep my secret as well.” He stood up and looked down on my still shocked face. “Sleep well, Kyu Jong.” He walked into his room and left me with my mind blank.
I didn't sleep the night. I lay on my bed and stared to the ceiling. I didn't understand Jung Min's acting. Maybe it would be better to tell Young Saeng about it, but then I reminded the words from Jung Min, that he would talk about my feelings then. I was thinking about, what would be more important, taking care of my best friend's feelings or the secret of my own ones. It wouldn't be that bad when Young Saeng would know about my love for him, right? At least, he would know about Jung Min's cheating as well. I decided that I would talk to him the next day and waited for the sun to rise up.
Jung Min was observing me at breakfast and I really felt uncomfortable. When he saw me looking at him he smiled honestly but his eyes told me that I should be careful, as if he knew what I was doing today. I shook my head in mind, I shouldn't think about him, because I had to talk to Young Saeng, no matter what.
I asked my best friend for a private minute and he followed me.
“What's wrong?”He asked with a worried face and I wasn't sure, if this was a good idea.
“I want to talk about Jung Min.” I said finally and he looked confused, but I saw the tears which came up.
I was afraid, that when I would talk about the incident, that he would really cry. I guessed, that these tears were there, because Jung Min didn't spend time with my best friend anymore. And speaking of him now didn't seem to make it better. But after a few seconds a smile appeared in his face. “What is with him?” He asked, trying to blinked away his tears.
I didn't know how to start this. “I can't understand why you're in love with him..” I said out of my mind.
He looked irritated. “I thought you were okay with this.” He answered.
I sighed. “I'm okay with it as long as you're happy with him.”
“I am happy with him.”
“That's what I see. I just said his name and you're about to cry.” I said a little bit too harsh because his eyes widened in shock. “Sorry.” I apologized and he nodded.
“I just didn't want to see you hurt by him.”
“It's okay, Kyu Jong.”
I sighed. “He's cheating on you..” I finally said.
His eyes widened again. “W-what are you talking about?”
“I said, Jung Min is cheating on you.” I repeated my words, but he shook his head.
“How can you know? He said that he is just busy..” He said, taking Jung Min's side.
“Yeah, busy to meet other men and sleep with them.” I murmured and looked into his shocked face.
“Shut up!” He screamed.
“Young Saeng..” I tried to take him in an embrace but he took a step away from me.
“Shut up, you don't know anything.”
“I saw him with another guy.” I tried to argue with facts.
“Maybe that was only a business partner.” Again he took Jung Min's side.
“Yeah, and because of that, he kissed him like he always kiss you.” I said. Why couldn't my best friend believe me? “Why should I lie to you?”
“I don't know. But you're wrong, Kyu Jong, he would never cheat on me, never. Don't talk about him like that.” He said and walked away.
“Why can't you believe me?” I sighed.
The next days Young Saeng avoided me. As soon as I entered a room he left it. The others were asking me about that, but I only shrugged. They didn't have to know this, but I was sure, that Jung Min already knew about it, his smile was too confident of victory. I didn't talk to anyone, I just tried to act as normal as I could. I guessed, that Jung Min didn't talk about my feelings for Young Saeng with my best friend, maybe because Young Saeng wasn't believing me and he didn't care about it anymore. It hurt to see both, Jung Min and Young Saeng, happily together. After my talk with my best friend, Jung Min seemed to care about him again and my best friend seemed happy again.
Sometimes I heard sobs from his room, when Jung Min was out again. But I never knocked and asked what was wrong with him. I guessed that I lose my best friend.
I was speechless when he stood in front of me, crying really hard. It wasn't the first time that I saw him like this. I had stop counting the times he was crying because of Jung Min. But this time it seemed really serious.
“I saw him with another one.” He said under some more sobs.
It was unfair to say something like “I told you already”. This wasn't the thing he needed right now. He needed me as his best friend. I took him in my arms and tried to comfort him, but actually I really didn't know how I should do this. I stroked over his back and hoped that he would stop crying.
“Help me!” He begged, but I didn't know how. “Just let me forget.”
And I did the only thing that came in my mind. I took his face in both of my hands and kissed his lips lightly. I was afraid that he would push me away, that he would ask me what I was doing, but nothing of these things happened.
I was surprised when I felt how he started to return my kiss. How could he do this? But somehow I really didn't care because I waited too long to be able to kiss him like this. And when I could help him to forget everything only for a moment then I would do it.
I held him closer in my embrace to kiss him deeper and I let my tongue caress his lover lip. He didn't hesitate to open his mouth and I slid inside it to poke his tongue with my own. He answered with a little fight of our tongues.
I didn't want to think about anything else, I just wanted to feel him now, maybe it wasn't fair for him or Jung Min, but why should I care about something like that? As long as he wouldn't say no, I wouldn't stop. And it felt like he wouldn't say no for the next time.
Without stopping the kiss I lead him to my bed and he followed my moves. I lay him down there carefully before I climbed on him. I stopped the kiss for a time and looked into his eyes, trying to find something that spoke against anything to go further than only kissing him. But his eyes were already dazed and I just loved it to see him like this. How long was I waiting to have him like this?
Again I leaned forward to feel his lips on my own. But this time I didn't ask for his permission and entered his mouth. He moaned softly and I smiled into the kiss. I started to move my fingers down on his side to the hem of his shirt and slid with my hand under it. He moaned again silently when my fingers touched his soft skin and I wandered slowly up to his chest to caress it.
My lips let go his and moved over to his jaw bone up to his ear, bit it shortly and I get another moan as an answer. Then I moved back to his jaw, kissed his lips again and pulled impatient at his shirt. He sat up and I took it off immediately. I saw him often without his shirt but this time, I was breathless. He looked so.. I didn't find any words for it.
I put my lips on his neck and started to kiss it slowly. He moaned again and his hands grabbed my shoulders. I knew that he would like it and moved with my lips further down over his collarbone to his chest. When I reached his nipples I couldn't help and bit one softly. This time he wasn't silent, this time he groaned loud and I loved his voice like this. I was really amazed by this and I couldn't wait to be with him closer than anyhow. I let one of my hands moved down to his pants, but before I unbutton it, I looked into his eyes to get his permission and he nodded shortly.
So I started to take his pants with his help off and he lay full naked in front of me now. I never had seen him like this and if I wasn't already in love with him, I was sure that I would fall in love right now. He looked so hot under me and it was really hard to resist and not to rape him.
Slowly I leaned down to his member and kissed lightly the top of it while my hand moved to the back of him to search for his entrance. I stroke over his butt before I entered him with a finger carefully. I didn't want to hurt him and watched his face to find anything he wouldn't like, but I couldn't find anything there.
I moved my finger slowly in him to make him used to it before I added a second finger and moved them together to prepare him. His moans became louder and deeper and I could hear him moan something silently. When I had the feeling that he was prepared enough, I took my fingers out of him and got a disappointed sound from him. I chuckled lightly and took my clothes off before I climbed back on him.
I crushed my lips down on his.
“I will be gentle.” I flustered against his lips and he nodded shortly.
I positioned myself comfortable between his legs and started to enter him with my whole length. Every few seconds I waited so he could get used to it but he didn't need all the time I gave him. He started to move on his own and moved his hips against mine and I couldn't help to start my moves as well. We didn't waste time to start everything slowly. I was too excited and he wanted only to forget the time before. So I thrust him deep and fast. My moans became one with his and I went slowly but clearly to my climax.
I moaned his name into his ear, told him that he felt so good. He replied with loud moans and told me that he was near his climax. So I thrust him deeper and his moans were uncontrollable loud. And know I could also hear what his was moaning. It was a name, but it wasn't mine.
“Jung Min, faster...” he groaned.
I wished I could stop what I was doing, but I was too near and I didn't want to stop. I ignored the fact that he was thinking of Jung Min, who was cheating on him, while he had sex with me. I was too lost in my feelings and after a few more thrusts I came inside him with his name on my lips and he came without my doing loud, screaming Jung Min's name.
Exhausted, I took myself out of him and lay down next to him. He didn't face me and somehow I felt sorry for what I did before.
I wanted to say something, but before I could start he stood up and get dressed.
“Thank you.” He said silently before he left my room quick.
The next morning I entered the kitchen tired and said good morning to everyone. My eyes met Young Saeng, but he avoided my look by kissing Jung Min happily.
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: KyuSaeng [KyuJong x YoungSaeng]
POV: KyuJong (like all of my Fanfictions XD)
Warning: English is not my first language, so please accept and look over mistakes.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the persons I used in the fanfiction.
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I didn't know how long I was in love with him. I only knew that my love for him would never change, it didn't matter that he was not in love with me. As long as I was able to watch over him, to listen to his worries, to be his best friend whatever would be, that was enough for me. I was used to one-sided love, it didn't bother me at all.
The fact that he finally had a crush on our band mate Jung Min didn't bother me, too. Sure, I wished that he came to me with telling me that he realized that he was in love with me, his best friend. But the truth was, he came and told me that he was thinking, he fell for Jung Min. Whatever made him fall for this guy, I was happy as long as he was it. And it really seemed this way, I watched over the both, maybe just like a stalker, but he was my best friend, my secret love, so I told myself it was okay to do this.
It came the day when I wished, I didn't was in love with him, because I didn't want to lie to him. But something happened and I didn't know how to handle this in a right way.
I was on my way to our apartment when I noticed Jung Min in a cafe on the other side of the street. First I didn't pay that much attention to it, thought of nothing bad and just wanted to continue walking when I noticed that he wasn't alone there. I stopped my way and tried to take a closer look without him notice me. He sat towards another man, I didn't know him, but I didn't care either. I just saw the fact that he wasn't with Young Saeng and I was curious in what relationship he was with the other man. But nothing really happened and I wanted to go back to our house when I recognized how Jung Min stood up, sat next to the other man and kissed him tenderly on his lips. I gasped and couldn't believe what I saw right now. For a moment my mind went blind before a question appeared in my head. Should I tell Young Saeng about that?
On my way home I decided that I wouldn't say anything to my best friend, I didn't want to worry him or be sad. But nevertheless I had to talk to Jung Min about what I saw. But I never had the chance to, he was always busy, even Young Saeng didn't know exactly where he was going, he only told us that he was busy with something. I frowned when I heard this excuse and thought about the incident, but I smiled, when Young Saeng asked me about my serious face, and asked him to go shopping. He happily said yes and I was glad because I could spend time with my best friend again. We enjoyed the time together and he said that he somehow missed the time we shared together and I was happy to hear this from him. When we were ready with shopping he wanted to drink some coffee and I joined him. I didn't want to go to the cafe on our normally way home, but Young Saeng wished and I said finally yes. Sighing, I entered the cafe first, he walked behind me, and I looked around for a free place. And stopped when I saw a well-known person with another man on the same spot than before. Young Saeng bumped into me and when I felt this I turned around.
“Maybe we should go somewhere else. It's really full here.” I said quickly and pushed him out of the cafe.
“Are you okay?” He asked worried and I nodded fast.
“Let's go somewhere else.” I smiled at him and he replied it.
It was better for him, I told myself. This time, Jung Min had to explain everything to me.
This night I stayed up until I heard the front door closed. I stood up from my lying position on the couch and looked at a surprised Jung Min.
“What you're doing here?” He asked while he took off his jacket.
“I waited for you.”
He looked curious. “Why?”
“I wanted to talk with you.” I pointed to the chair towards me and he sat down without a complain.
“Shoot.” He said, still curious, I could see it in his eyes.
“You shouldn't play with Young Saeng.” I started and was cut off because he began to laugh.
I rolled my eyes annoyed by his laugh and after he was ready with it, his face became serious. “What makes you think, I would play with him?”
Somehow this situation scared me. But I didn't want him let go this easy with this. So I went further.
“I saw you with this guy now two times in the same cafe.”
“And this means what?”
I sighed. “When you don't love Young Saeng, don't play with his feelings. He is truly in love with you and I don't want him to be hurt because you're acting like a bitch.” I said angrily and he started to laugh again.
“So you love him?” He asked after he calmed down again.
My eyes widened for a short time. Was it this obvious?
“Don't be shocked.” He said and smiled devilish. “I won't run around and say it to anybody. As long as you keep my secret as well.” He stood up and looked down on my still shocked face. “Sleep well, Kyu Jong.” He walked into his room and left me with my mind blank.
I didn't sleep the night. I lay on my bed and stared to the ceiling. I didn't understand Jung Min's acting. Maybe it would be better to tell Young Saeng about it, but then I reminded the words from Jung Min, that he would talk about my feelings then. I was thinking about, what would be more important, taking care of my best friend's feelings or the secret of my own ones. It wouldn't be that bad when Young Saeng would know about my love for him, right? At least, he would know about Jung Min's cheating as well. I decided that I would talk to him the next day and waited for the sun to rise up.
Jung Min was observing me at breakfast and I really felt uncomfortable. When he saw me looking at him he smiled honestly but his eyes told me that I should be careful, as if he knew what I was doing today. I shook my head in mind, I shouldn't think about him, because I had to talk to Young Saeng, no matter what.
I asked my best friend for a private minute and he followed me.
“What's wrong?”He asked with a worried face and I wasn't sure, if this was a good idea.
“I want to talk about Jung Min.” I said finally and he looked confused, but I saw the tears which came up.
I was afraid, that when I would talk about the incident, that he would really cry. I guessed, that these tears were there, because Jung Min didn't spend time with my best friend anymore. And speaking of him now didn't seem to make it better. But after a few seconds a smile appeared in his face. “What is with him?” He asked, trying to blinked away his tears.
I didn't know how to start this. “I can't understand why you're in love with him..” I said out of my mind.
He looked irritated. “I thought you were okay with this.” He answered.
I sighed. “I'm okay with it as long as you're happy with him.”
“I am happy with him.”
“That's what I see. I just said his name and you're about to cry.” I said a little bit too harsh because his eyes widened in shock. “Sorry.” I apologized and he nodded.
“I just didn't want to see you hurt by him.”
“It's okay, Kyu Jong.”
I sighed. “He's cheating on you..” I finally said.
His eyes widened again. “W-what are you talking about?”
“I said, Jung Min is cheating on you.” I repeated my words, but he shook his head.
“How can you know? He said that he is just busy..” He said, taking Jung Min's side.
“Yeah, busy to meet other men and sleep with them.” I murmured and looked into his shocked face.
“Shut up!” He screamed.
“Young Saeng..” I tried to take him in an embrace but he took a step away from me.
“Shut up, you don't know anything.”
“I saw him with another guy.” I tried to argue with facts.
“Maybe that was only a business partner.” Again he took Jung Min's side.
“Yeah, and because of that, he kissed him like he always kiss you.” I said. Why couldn't my best friend believe me? “Why should I lie to you?”
“I don't know. But you're wrong, Kyu Jong, he would never cheat on me, never. Don't talk about him like that.” He said and walked away.
“Why can't you believe me?” I sighed.
The next days Young Saeng avoided me. As soon as I entered a room he left it. The others were asking me about that, but I only shrugged. They didn't have to know this, but I was sure, that Jung Min already knew about it, his smile was too confident of victory. I didn't talk to anyone, I just tried to act as normal as I could. I guessed, that Jung Min didn't talk about my feelings for Young Saeng with my best friend, maybe because Young Saeng wasn't believing me and he didn't care about it anymore. It hurt to see both, Jung Min and Young Saeng, happily together. After my talk with my best friend, Jung Min seemed to care about him again and my best friend seemed happy again.
Sometimes I heard sobs from his room, when Jung Min was out again. But I never knocked and asked what was wrong with him. I guessed that I lose my best friend.
I was speechless when he stood in front of me, crying really hard. It wasn't the first time that I saw him like this. I had stop counting the times he was crying because of Jung Min. But this time it seemed really serious.
“I saw him with another one.” He said under some more sobs.
It was unfair to say something like “I told you already”. This wasn't the thing he needed right now. He needed me as his best friend. I took him in my arms and tried to comfort him, but actually I really didn't know how I should do this. I stroked over his back and hoped that he would stop crying.
“Help me!” He begged, but I didn't know how. “Just let me forget.”
And I did the only thing that came in my mind. I took his face in both of my hands and kissed his lips lightly. I was afraid that he would push me away, that he would ask me what I was doing, but nothing of these things happened.
I was surprised when I felt how he started to return my kiss. How could he do this? But somehow I really didn't care because I waited too long to be able to kiss him like this. And when I could help him to forget everything only for a moment then I would do it.
I held him closer in my embrace to kiss him deeper and I let my tongue caress his lover lip. He didn't hesitate to open his mouth and I slid inside it to poke his tongue with my own. He answered with a little fight of our tongues.
I didn't want to think about anything else, I just wanted to feel him now, maybe it wasn't fair for him or Jung Min, but why should I care about something like that? As long as he wouldn't say no, I wouldn't stop. And it felt like he wouldn't say no for the next time.
Without stopping the kiss I lead him to my bed and he followed my moves. I lay him down there carefully before I climbed on him. I stopped the kiss for a time and looked into his eyes, trying to find something that spoke against anything to go further than only kissing him. But his eyes were already dazed and I just loved it to see him like this. How long was I waiting to have him like this?
Again I leaned forward to feel his lips on my own. But this time I didn't ask for his permission and entered his mouth. He moaned softly and I smiled into the kiss. I started to move my fingers down on his side to the hem of his shirt and slid with my hand under it. He moaned again silently when my fingers touched his soft skin and I wandered slowly up to his chest to caress it.
My lips let go his and moved over to his jaw bone up to his ear, bit it shortly and I get another moan as an answer. Then I moved back to his jaw, kissed his lips again and pulled impatient at his shirt. He sat up and I took it off immediately. I saw him often without his shirt but this time, I was breathless. He looked so.. I didn't find any words for it.
I put my lips on his neck and started to kiss it slowly. He moaned again and his hands grabbed my shoulders. I knew that he would like it and moved with my lips further down over his collarbone to his chest. When I reached his nipples I couldn't help and bit one softly. This time he wasn't silent, this time he groaned loud and I loved his voice like this. I was really amazed by this and I couldn't wait to be with him closer than anyhow. I let one of my hands moved down to his pants, but before I unbutton it, I looked into his eyes to get his permission and he nodded shortly.
So I started to take his pants with his help off and he lay full naked in front of me now. I never had seen him like this and if I wasn't already in love with him, I was sure that I would fall in love right now. He looked so hot under me and it was really hard to resist and not to rape him.
Slowly I leaned down to his member and kissed lightly the top of it while my hand moved to the back of him to search for his entrance. I stroke over his butt before I entered him with a finger carefully. I didn't want to hurt him and watched his face to find anything he wouldn't like, but I couldn't find anything there.
I moved my finger slowly in him to make him used to it before I added a second finger and moved them together to prepare him. His moans became louder and deeper and I could hear him moan something silently. When I had the feeling that he was prepared enough, I took my fingers out of him and got a disappointed sound from him. I chuckled lightly and took my clothes off before I climbed back on him.
I crushed my lips down on his.
“I will be gentle.” I flustered against his lips and he nodded shortly.
I positioned myself comfortable between his legs and started to enter him with my whole length. Every few seconds I waited so he could get used to it but he didn't need all the time I gave him. He started to move on his own and moved his hips against mine and I couldn't help to start my moves as well. We didn't waste time to start everything slowly. I was too excited and he wanted only to forget the time before. So I thrust him deep and fast. My moans became one with his and I went slowly but clearly to my climax.
I moaned his name into his ear, told him that he felt so good. He replied with loud moans and told me that he was near his climax. So I thrust him deeper and his moans were uncontrollable loud. And know I could also hear what his was moaning. It was a name, but it wasn't mine.
“Jung Min, faster...” he groaned.
I wished I could stop what I was doing, but I was too near and I didn't want to stop. I ignored the fact that he was thinking of Jung Min, who was cheating on him, while he had sex with me. I was too lost in my feelings and after a few more thrusts I came inside him with his name on my lips and he came without my doing loud, screaming Jung Min's name.
Exhausted, I took myself out of him and lay down next to him. He didn't face me and somehow I felt sorry for what I did before.
I wanted to say something, but before I could start he stood up and get dressed.
“Thank you.” He said silently before he left my room quick.
The next morning I entered the kitchen tired and said good morning to everyone. My eyes met Young Saeng, but he avoided my look by kissing Jung Min happily.