If you will be irritated by my bitching about Japan, stop reading now...
Okay. Two weeks in Tokyo down, and I'm ready to cut and run. There are too many people in this city, too much concrete, too much humidity, not enough internet access, and living here is way too damn expensive. I'm worn out from nightmares, and from not being able to sleep because my apartment is surrounded by love hotels and pachinko parlors and shouting people and motorcycles and god only knows what else that causes weird sounds at two in the morning. It also has no natural light, but there doesn't appear to be any natural light in this entire city, so I guess I shouldn't be upset. I should be grateful that I get to spend six weeks here, and I'm not, and I feel guilty for not being grateful, which makes me in turn resentful. I know I'm here to work on my Japanese, but I'm better off self-studying than going to class. I'm lonely. And it's not that I don't have people to hang out with, because I do - but none of them are who I want to see. I know everyone can see what this is adding up to - I'm tired, stressed, homesick, and I miss my boy. And I know it's only a "few weeks," but for a city that offers astonishingly much, I can't seem to fill the hours. I'm tired of feeling fat and tall and *white*. I'm tired of not being able to find a decent place to go for a run, even though it's actually too hot to even think about running. I'm tired of living alone in this apartment, of getting up in the morning to go to class, of trudging across one concrete stretch after another. I need someplace cool and green and not humid. If there were anyway to manage it, I would come home and find a cabin somewhere far away from everyone and everything and just lock myself up in it - though I wouldn't go alone. I just want some quiet, and some of the right company.
Done now.
Done now.