Performance Anxiety
Performance Anxiety
We were performing anxiety. I was assigned to shiver. Jolene was assigned to hesitate. Gerard turned away. Bella chattered nervously. Ashlee giggled. Magnum acted tough. Isabel searched for excuses. Thomas tried to feel superior. Peter acted detached. Sally was engrossed in doing her nails.
Larry, the director, laughed uproariously. He thought we were marvelous. He'd simply told us to be anxious, and we had not let him down. I worried that my anxiety wasn't as good as other people's anxiety. I was particularly impressed by Bella. I was there shivering, merely shivering. My teeth were chattering, but Bella's mouth was chattering. She put on a half-distracted tone, turned around, wondered nervously if her dress was bunching up in the back. As I shivered, she explained to us that dresses were reputed to be easy, but not if you were a misfit and they bunched up on you, and people were secretly contemptuous when you got out of your seat. Thomas affected a look of secret contempt. Bella was now talking about the way the woman at the checkout counter had seemed impatient. Magnum pretended to be bored. (Larry, the director, shouted "Magnificent!" and clapped his hands.) I continued to shiver, beside myself with terror, but I thought to myself that Bella's scattered babble revealed greater nuances of fear than my physical discomfort did. Jolene would start to say encouraging things to Bella, then would turn away embarrassed. Ashlee would laugh in these short giggles, the giggles having no apparent relation to what anyone was saying. Peter said, "The floorboards are gray," though this seemed to have nothing to do with anything. Ashlee giggled, and Peter added no further explanation, as if his observation had been entirely for his own benefit. Gerard walked over to the table and stared at it, though nothing was there. I didn't know what to do. I almost swallowed my lips. I took out my time piece, then it slipped out of my hands. ("Excellent," said Larry the director, and I smiled inwardly, while my eyes darted around the room.)
Bella told us that the blue shades had surprised her. One does not expect blue shades. The contractor at the last place had overcharged her, she said. "I'll kill him for you," said Magnum. Thomas shook his head. Ashlee giggled.
We were performing anxiety. I was assigned to shiver. Jolene was assigned to hesitate. Gerard turned away. Bella chattered nervously. Ashlee giggled. Magnum acted tough. Isabel searched for excuses. Thomas tried to feel superior. Peter acted detached. Sally was engrossed in doing her nails.
Larry, the director, laughed uproariously. He thought we were marvelous. He'd simply told us to be anxious, and we had not let him down. I worried that my anxiety wasn't as good as other people's anxiety. I was particularly impressed by Bella. I was there shivering, merely shivering. My teeth were chattering, but Bella's mouth was chattering. She put on a half-distracted tone, turned around, wondered nervously if her dress was bunching up in the back. As I shivered, she explained to us that dresses were reputed to be easy, but not if you were a misfit and they bunched up on you, and people were secretly contemptuous when you got out of your seat. Thomas affected a look of secret contempt. Bella was now talking about the way the woman at the checkout counter had seemed impatient. Magnum pretended to be bored. (Larry, the director, shouted "Magnificent!" and clapped his hands.) I continued to shiver, beside myself with terror, but I thought to myself that Bella's scattered babble revealed greater nuances of fear than my physical discomfort did. Jolene would start to say encouraging things to Bella, then would turn away embarrassed. Ashlee would laugh in these short giggles, the giggles having no apparent relation to what anyone was saying. Peter said, "The floorboards are gray," though this seemed to have nothing to do with anything. Ashlee giggled, and Peter added no further explanation, as if his observation had been entirely for his own benefit. Gerard walked over to the table and stared at it, though nothing was there. I didn't know what to do. I almost swallowed my lips. I took out my time piece, then it slipped out of my hands. ("Excellent," said Larry the director, and I smiled inwardly, while my eyes darted around the room.)
Bella told us that the blue shades had surprised her. One does not expect blue shades. The contractor at the last place had overcharged her, she said. "I'll kill him for you," said Magnum. Thomas shook his head. Ashlee giggled.