So long as you're trying your best in life to make a difference and be a good person, I really don't think you can be an asshole.
I don't KNOW this but I suspect that some asian families cling to traditional values and culture, so watching their kids get heavily into something they do not understand is especially difficult. I'm sure it's probably true for other ethnicities as well, but my experience is that asian families cling extra hard to the ways of tradition. It's hard to disappoint people you love but that doesn't mean that you're wrong to choose what you want.
I think often times we judge ourselves on the success we have yet fail to give ourselves points for effort. While this is understandable, it's not right. Many people go through life just trying to grab all they can for themselves and don't give two shits about who gets in the way. If you are a loving, caring person and you are able to give without always expecting something in return, you're probably a good person.
Just remember that the one good thing about getting older is that you do figure a lot of things out in time. Of course you always wish you'd figured it out a decade before, but it's better than never getting it.
Hey Croc, thanks for reading it and made the kind comment.
We all have times that we can't satisfy everyone and even have to play bad guy in some situations, my mom plays that role well enough she hardly had any time she had to be the bad person, and yet I am still learning, still making my way through, and still, hurting people on the way there.
Asshole is just a term, but truly I did made some bad decision and being very selfish lately, for that, I am an asshole.
This may surprise you, my family is already really open to whatever I am doing. I asked to learn piano when I was small, I did, when I loss interest of playing and asked to stop, they let me. When I choose zoology in college, they have worried the shit out of themselves that I won't be able to do anything with this degree, they still let me study it (though ironically I really am not doing anything relating to bio or zoo right now).
Mom was upset that I told her I am interested in guys than girls, she starts blaming herself for not giving me enough pressure, that's why I now running around and do whatever I want, without a normalcy that they'd expected me to have.
I am wrong to them because they foresees clouds before storms forming ahead of me, many many times they have warned and guided me away from danger zoom, and I can't be appreciated enough that they did so and I haven't had any scar, broken bones or stitches on me (I do want some of that, or a tattoo, feels like I have been wasted my youth doing things the safe way, I do want excitements that brings from being reckless) maybe it's my time to break a leg?
Lately I have been trying to focus on myself and trying to do things just for me, I starts seeing things I ignored and should be worried about for long time, also how much time I have put up for myself and have not look after how my friends are doing these days. I still desired to love and care, and still am grabbing pieces of me back, through the help of our previous conversation, I need a lot more time to do a lot more.....too much to catch up with life.
I have a big bubble that furrys will always be here, but when furrys friends move on with their lives, bubble bust, I thought we are just going to attend cons forever and make enough money to live in apartment with friends, where is everyone now? Who is still saying "I am here for you if you need me"? Who's going to offer you place to crash if you loss your apartment/house? In the next 10~15 years all these questions will force me to come up with proper answers, I hope by then I will be ready for what comes after me.
There's masks I can put on if I need to behave and be mature, but my spiritual self is still very young, I am not sure if I should grow up a lot more and faster, but at some point I really should get a hold of myself, making sure I am still exist, breath, and have a life.
Again thanks for the comments Croc, love you ! Hope to spend some time with you and Yippee during MP :) *smooches cheek*
I don't KNOW this but I suspect that some asian families cling to traditional values and culture, so watching their kids get heavily into something they do not understand is especially difficult. I'm sure it's probably true for other ethnicities as well, but my experience is that asian families cling extra hard to the ways of tradition. It's hard to disappoint people you love but that doesn't mean that you're wrong to choose what you want.
I think often times we judge ourselves on the success we have yet fail to give ourselves points for effort. While this is understandable, it's not right. Many people go through life just trying to grab all they can for themselves and don't give two shits about who gets in the way. If you are a loving, caring person and you are able to give without always expecting something in return, you're probably a good person.
Just remember that the one good thing about getting older is that you do figure a lot of things out in time. Of course you always wish you'd figured it out a decade before, but it's better than never getting it.
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We all have times that we can't satisfy everyone and even have to play bad guy in some situations, my mom plays that role well enough she hardly had any time she had to be the bad person, and yet I am still learning, still making my way through, and still, hurting people on the way there.
Asshole is just a term, but truly I did made some bad decision and being very selfish lately, for that, I am an asshole.
This may surprise you, my family is already really open to whatever I am doing. I asked to learn piano when I was small, I did, when I loss interest of playing and asked to stop, they let me. When I choose zoology in college, they have worried the shit out of themselves that I won't be able to do anything with this degree, they still let me study it (though ironically I really am not doing anything relating to bio or zoo right now).
Mom was upset that I told her I am interested in guys than girls, she starts blaming herself for not giving me enough pressure, that's why I now running around and do whatever I want, without a normalcy that they'd expected me to have.
I am wrong to them because they foresees clouds before storms forming ahead of me, many many times they have warned and guided me away from danger zoom, and I can't be appreciated enough that they did so and I haven't had any scar, broken bones or stitches on me (I do want some of that, or a tattoo, feels like I have been wasted my youth doing things the safe way, I do want excitements that brings from being reckless) maybe it's my time to break a leg?
Lately I have been trying to focus on myself and trying to do things just for me, I starts seeing things I ignored and should be worried about for long time, also how much time I have put up for myself and have not look after how my friends are doing these days. I still desired to love and care, and still am grabbing pieces of me back, through the help of our previous conversation, I need a lot more time to do a lot more.....too much to catch up with life.
I have a big bubble that furrys will always be here, but when furrys friends move on with their lives, bubble bust, I thought we are just going to attend cons forever and make enough money to live in apartment with friends, where is everyone now? Who is still saying "I am here for you if you need me"? Who's going to offer you place to crash if you loss your apartment/house? In the next 10~15 years all these questions will force me to come up with proper answers, I hope by then I will be ready for what comes after me.
There's masks I can put on if I need to behave and be mature, but my spiritual self is still very young, I am not sure if I should grow up a lot more and faster, but at some point I really should get a hold of myself, making sure I am still exist, breath, and have a life.
Again thanks for the comments Croc, love you ! Hope to spend some time with you and Yippee during MP :) *smooches cheek*
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